Feeling lonely at university
Hello,
I've had problems trying to making friends with new people at university. I also commute to university if that helps. I'm enjoying my time around campus, attending lectures, etc. During the day, I feel drowned with sadness having no one to speak to - I would love to hear how a person's day is going, are they enjoying their time at uni, what they like to do in their spare time, what they plan to do on weekends, etc. etc. I try to put on a smile to make someone's day better wherever I go, but it's challenging deep down I feel down myself.
I've already read that joining societies are a beneficial way of making new friends who like to do similar activities. However, those that I'm interested in clash with my work schedule and I can't afford to lose more work hours.
I'm doing my best in terms of staying at the university to study for instance, but I worry that will be limited because of limited train times - I take the bus and train to get back home. Hopefully, if I pass my practical test, I'll acquire my driver's licence so that I can relieve some stress.
I understand there are other people who are on the same boat as me, but I just want to people to know how I feel (I struggle to verbally phrase some sentences when talking to someone). In addition, I grew a bad habit where I keep talking to myself - this has been going on for years (as far as I can remember, since secondary school). I would talk to my family about my problems, but this would end up consuming hours of time i.e. going through one ear and out of the other - I'm saying this because they believe that communication is easy peasy (they still don't understand what I mean by small talk and btw I really don't like small talk - it's like sending a few text messages to check up on someone).
Apologies for writing this long but I really appreciate any feedback or response to improve my mental health.
I hope you have a good day
I've had problems trying to making friends with new people at university. I also commute to university if that helps. I'm enjoying my time around campus, attending lectures, etc. During the day, I feel drowned with sadness having no one to speak to - I would love to hear how a person's day is going, are they enjoying their time at uni, what they like to do in their spare time, what they plan to do on weekends, etc. etc. I try to put on a smile to make someone's day better wherever I go, but it's challenging deep down I feel down myself.
I've already read that joining societies are a beneficial way of making new friends who like to do similar activities. However, those that I'm interested in clash with my work schedule and I can't afford to lose more work hours.
I'm doing my best in terms of staying at the university to study for instance, but I worry that will be limited because of limited train times - I take the bus and train to get back home. Hopefully, if I pass my practical test, I'll acquire my driver's licence so that I can relieve some stress.
I understand there are other people who are on the same boat as me, but I just want to people to know how I feel (I struggle to verbally phrase some sentences when talking to someone). In addition, I grew a bad habit where I keep talking to myself - this has been going on for years (as far as I can remember, since secondary school). I would talk to my family about my problems, but this would end up consuming hours of time i.e. going through one ear and out of the other - I'm saying this because they believe that communication is easy peasy (they still don't understand what I mean by small talk and btw I really don't like small talk - it's like sending a few text messages to check up on someone).
Apologies for writing this long but I really appreciate any feedback or response to improve my mental health.
I hope you have a good day
(edited 7 months ago)
Hi, I am at a large University in London, and definitely feel this. It’s tough especially now when the weather is gorgeous and I see all these close friendship groups, while I’m all alone.
I haven’t connected with anyone yet, but only a first year student, so will see how it goes.
Advice: contact you University, mine has a friendship/buddy system, like online dating but they match you with another student.
It is really hard to commute. I didn’t realise how draining it would be for myself and also sucks that I miss out on things, because once Im home, I don’t want to travel again.
I haven’t connected with anyone yet, but only a first year student, so will see how it goes.
Advice: contact you University, mine has a friendship/buddy system, like online dating but they match you with another student.
It is really hard to commute. I didn’t realise how draining it would be for myself and also sucks that I miss out on things, because once Im home, I don’t want to travel again.
Original post by Ylldrit27
Hello,
I've had problems trying to making friends with new people at university. I also commute to university if that helps. I'm enjoying my time around campus, attending lectures, etc. During the day, I feel drowned with sadness having no one to speak to - I would love to hear how a person's day is going, are they enjoying their time at uni, what they like to do in their spare time, what they plan to do on weekends, etc. etc. I try to put on a smile to make someone's day better wherever I go, but it's challenging deep down I feel down myself.
I've already read that joining societies are a beneficial way of making new friends who like to do similar activities. However, those that I'm interested in clash with my work schedule and I can't afford to lose more work hours.
I'm doing my best in terms of staying at the university to study for instance, but I worry that will be limited because of limited train times - I take the bus and train to get back home. Hopefully, if I pass my practical test, I'll acquire my driver's licence so that I can relieve some stress.
I understand there are other people who are on the same boat as me, but I just want to people to know how I feel (I struggle to verbally phrase some sentences when talking to someone). In addition, I grew a bad habit where I keep talking to myself - this has been going on for years (as far as I can remember, since secondary school). I would talk to my family about my problems, but this would end up consuming hours of time i.e. going through one ear and out of the other - I'm saying this because they believe that communication is easy peasy (they still don't understand what I mean by small talk and btw I really don't like small talk - it's like sending a few text messages to check up on someone).
Apologies for writing this long but I really appreciate any feedback or response to improve my mental health.
I hope you have a good day
I've had problems trying to making friends with new people at university. I also commute to university if that helps. I'm enjoying my time around campus, attending lectures, etc. During the day, I feel drowned with sadness having no one to speak to - I would love to hear how a person's day is going, are they enjoying their time at uni, what they like to do in their spare time, what they plan to do on weekends, etc. etc. I try to put on a smile to make someone's day better wherever I go, but it's challenging deep down I feel down myself.
I've already read that joining societies are a beneficial way of making new friends who like to do similar activities. However, those that I'm interested in clash with my work schedule and I can't afford to lose more work hours.
I'm doing my best in terms of staying at the university to study for instance, but I worry that will be limited because of limited train times - I take the bus and train to get back home. Hopefully, if I pass my practical test, I'll acquire my driver's licence so that I can relieve some stress.
I understand there are other people who are on the same boat as me, but I just want to people to know how I feel (I struggle to verbally phrase some sentences when talking to someone). In addition, I grew a bad habit where I keep talking to myself - this has been going on for years (as far as I can remember, since secondary school). I would talk to my family about my problems, but this would end up consuming hours of time i.e. going through one ear and out of the other - I'm saying this because they believe that communication is easy peasy (they still don't understand what I mean by small talk and btw I really don't like small talk - it's like sending a few text messages to check up on someone).
Apologies for writing this long but I really appreciate any feedback or response to improve my mental health.
I hope you have a good day
This is a problem I had as well over twnty years ago. What you must NOT do is what i did, drink and then go to bars. Instead, find a way of meeting people without alcohol. People you meet when drunk, if you even remember who they were or they you, disappear into the night. It is a paralell universe, and everyone has another life somewhere else.
My suggestion is either sports or something related to an interest you might have, chess, astronomy, creative writing, history, gardering or whatever. Also, use the apps to get a date, invite potential partners to your home and make dinner. Do not wander in a drunken haze down dark alleys looking for some person who never appears.
Original post by Ylldrit27
Hello,
I've had problems trying to making friends with new people at university. I also commute to university if that helps. I'm enjoying my time around campus, attending lectures, etc. During the day, I feel drowned with sadness having no one to speak to - I would love to hear how a person's day is going, are they enjoying their time at uni, what they like to do in their spare time, what they plan to do on weekends, etc. etc. I try to put on a smile to make someone's day better wherever I go, but it's challenging deep down I feel down myself.
I've already read that joining societies are a beneficial way of making new friends who like to do similar activities. However, those that I'm interested in clash with my work schedule and I can't afford to lose more work hours.
I'm doing my best in terms of staying at the university to study for instance, but I worry that will be limited because of limited train times - I take the bus and train to get back home. Hopefully, if I pass my practical test, I'll acquire my driver's licence so that I can relieve some stress.
I understand there are other people who are on the same boat as me, but I just want to people to know how I feel (I struggle to verbally phrase some sentences when talking to someone). In addition, I grew a bad habit where I keep talking to myself - this has been going on for years (as far as I can remember, since secondary school). I would talk to my family about my problems, but this would end up consuming hours of time i.e. going through one ear and out of the other - I'm saying this because they believe that communication is easy peasy (they still don't understand what I mean by small talk and btw I really don't like small talk - it's like sending a few text messages to check up on someone).
Apologies for writing this long but I really appreciate any feedback or response to improve my mental health.
I hope you have a good day
I've had problems trying to making friends with new people at university. I also commute to university if that helps. I'm enjoying my time around campus, attending lectures, etc. During the day, I feel drowned with sadness having no one to speak to - I would love to hear how a person's day is going, are they enjoying their time at uni, what they like to do in their spare time, what they plan to do on weekends, etc. etc. I try to put on a smile to make someone's day better wherever I go, but it's challenging deep down I feel down myself.
I've already read that joining societies are a beneficial way of making new friends who like to do similar activities. However, those that I'm interested in clash with my work schedule and I can't afford to lose more work hours.
I'm doing my best in terms of staying at the university to study for instance, but I worry that will be limited because of limited train times - I take the bus and train to get back home. Hopefully, if I pass my practical test, I'll acquire my driver's licence so that I can relieve some stress.
I understand there are other people who are on the same boat as me, but I just want to people to know how I feel (I struggle to verbally phrase some sentences when talking to someone). In addition, I grew a bad habit where I keep talking to myself - this has been going on for years (as far as I can remember, since secondary school). I would talk to my family about my problems, but this would end up consuming hours of time i.e. going through one ear and out of the other - I'm saying this because they believe that communication is easy peasy (they still don't understand what I mean by small talk and btw I really don't like small talk - it's like sending a few text messages to check up on someone).
Apologies for writing this long but I really appreciate any feedback or response to improve my mental health.
I hope you have a good day
Hi there, I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
I know that the first few weeks at University can be quite overwhelming, and it is normal to feel this way. The jump from A levels to University life is quite large, and you are not the only one in this position.
It is nice to hear that you trying your best at studying. In terms of commuting, if you find that you are struggling with the commuting times (e.g. if they are at odd hours), you can try emailing the timetabling department and see if it is possible to arrange your lessons for convenience. (Good luck taking your practical test!)
Sorry to hear that the societies that you are interested in clash with your work. Perhaps you could look into some societies that do not clash with your work? I tried going to a society that I never thought I would enjoy before, but I found it quite interesting. Also, there may be some student networking events set up by your University's student union. So follow them on Instagram or social medias to see what sort of events they offer.
It is good to hear that you are speaking to your family, and I would recommend keeping in contact with them. (Try not to keep all your thoughts to yourself, as you should not experience poor mental health without support.) Another thing you can do is signing up for any Mentor/Buddy schemes as your University. (So your University will pair you with a different student to hang around with and get you used to University life).
If you are feeling increasingly upset or distressed by your mental health, Universities do offer support and wellbeing services. (Feel free to reach out to them, they may be able to point you in the right direction and help you through this situation).
Hope this helps.
Chloe
-University of Kent Student Rep
I think it can take time to make genuine friends and to get to know people properly - although acquaintances are good to have too.
I would focus on hobbies and interests and join clubs and groups both inside and outside of University (and college) to meet like minded people. You may also discover new things about yourself such as new hobbies.
I would focus on hobbies and interests and join clubs and groups both inside and outside of University (and college) to meet like minded people. You may also discover new things about yourself such as new hobbies.
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