He just used me for sex.

Hi there,
I don't normally post on this forum...but I just really want some advice.
I've recently started university, and everything is great-I love my course, I have some fantastic friends..apart from one thing which has recently got me down no end and I just don't know what to do.
I met a man, and I thought he was different to all the other men i've met before, (he is on my course)-and seemed intelligent, interesting, a real gentleman. He complimented me, said lovely things, and one thing led to another and before long we were "in a relationship" and had slept together. I only sleep with men I care a lot for and am in a relationship with--and I felt I cared enough about him to be able to do that, I felt happy. But then things changed.
Ever since we had sex, he just doesn't seem interested (as much)-in me as a person anymore. He never comes to see me (unless he knows that sex is on the cards) and never comes into university, never makes any effort to contact me at all.
When he came over last week, we had sex, and straight after, he sent a text saying "I love you too babe, I want to be with you more than anything"-to another girl!! Yet he was supposed to be in a relationship with me?! :frown:

Now, I think he only said he wanted a relationship so he could get sex--as I told him in conversation (as we were getting to know each other) that I only sleep with men when in a relationship with them.
I've talked to him about it, and he didn't seem apologetic at all-in fact, he didn't really seem to care. He said he was "sorry" and didn't mean to hurt me, but I really don't think he meant it.
I just don't know what to do.
I feel so used and dirty.
And to top it off, I am on the pill, but (yes, I know this is irresponsible-don't remind me anyone), I slept with him without using a condom..and he has slept with 14 other girls apart from me. So now I am scared I might have an STD. I know it was irresponsible and I am going to get a check up at the sexual health clinic for it, but I am just so scared...

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

Meus

Maybe your requirements should be expanded from just "being in a relationship" to "being with a man who loves me dearly, and whom I love"?

Reply 2

username234673

My advice: Ditch him.

If a bloke just wants sex, the least he can do is be honest about it.

Reply 3

h82think

Say you want to have sex, take off his clothes then throw them out of the window?

Reply 4

King of my Castle

only yourself to blame i'm afraid. Do not allow yourself to be taken advantage of.
There's a lot of males out there that hold women on the same level as a dog, as I male myself i know this. I don't think many females do however

Reply 5

Zamolxes

He's clearly using you. Dump him, you deserve much better.

And just a " P.S " - The most charming guys aren't always the really nice ones. Because charming guys have that going for them. They can get with a lot of women and over time turn slightly to the dark side. They're assholes because they know they can get away with it. Sorry but that's how it works.

Reply 6

Aack

Tell him you're preggers. Get Your Own Back Dave Benson Phillips Styleee.

Reply 7

SmokeZ

14 girls isn't that much for someone 18+

I wouldn't be too worried about a STI

But yeh get yourself checked just incase

Reply 8

emmalouiseyyy

aww

i know a guy like this. he sweet talks girls when sex is on the cards, but he is always playing other girls at the same time. my friend went through a year of this and just ended up getting more attached, the best thing you can do is end it and get yourself tested for STIs.
good luck!

Reply 9

ctarling

Anonymous

I told him in conversation (as we were getting to know each other) that I only sleep with men when in a relationship with them.

Try not to make it easy for people to take advantage of you.

I hope this is the mistake you learn from and not the one you're stuck with (STD wise)

Reply 10

Jaydiee

Castrate him......
definetly wont help him, but might make you feel better :smile:

Reply 11

LaurenFah

You live, and you learn. If you'd have left it a bit you'd have seen him for what he was.

Reply 12

tropical-twist3

men can be pricks but he was a royal prick because he knew that you would only sleep with him if you thought you were in a relationship, and he knew he just wanted you for sex.
First, go to a clinic to get checked for STD's, and secondly, get revenge. I'm not really one for revenge, I prefer to forgive and forget however he's just walked all over you and he'll walk all over other people so you should do something to make him regret it and think twice about being a prick in the future.

Reply 13

Titanomachy

LaurenFah

You live, and you learn. If you'd have left it a bit you'd have seen him for what he was.

Yeah, women are known for being biologically incapable of lying to themselves about the men they are in relationships with over a long period of time. Fact.

Twenty bucks says this guy could get his **** together, turn on the charm and have OP melting in his arms again if he wanted to, totally believing that she is his 'one'.

Ugh. I like this thread, I think i'll move here.

Reply 14

Rutter knows best!

stay positive, hiv positive.

Reply 15

LaurenFah

titanomachy

Twenty bucks says this guy could get his **** together, turn on the charm and have OP melting in his arms again if he wanted to, totally believing that she is his 'one'.

Maybe so, the OP seems naive in that sense.

Not women as a whole.

Reply 16

Natsuko

h82think

Say you want to have sex, take off his clothes then throw them out of the window?

This I like! Do it and get pics :laughing: By the sounds of things he deserves it.

Otherwise, as has been said a million times already but I'll say it anyway to add urgency, give him the boot - he doesn't deserve you.

Reply 17

Titanomachy

LaurenFah

Maybe so, the OP seems naive in that sense.

Not women as a whole.

Ok fair enough, I don't want to make an incendiary and unfounded generalisation, and I'm certainly not saying all women or only women are prone to this.

Reply 18

tropical-twist3

h82think

Say you want to have sex, take off his clothes then throw them out of the window?

say you want to have sex, blindfold him, then let your imagiination run riot..

blindfolded he won't be able to tell what you're squeezing onto his penis, be it lube or superglue...

(that might be a bit too far)

Reply 19

nolongerhearthemusic

That's a really horrible thing to do to someone :frown:

He's clearly lied to you deliberately.

You thought he was a decent person, but he obviously isn't. I would just try to move on and not be too disheartened.