HELP how do I fix myself?
Hi,
I've had multiple occurrences in the past with both friends and people I'm interested in just suddenly leaving (4, to be precise. And I'm only 15.), and I don't know if it's something I'm doing wrong or what.
I just feel like if that many people have left me, it must be my fault, and nobody will ever like me or love me. I have panic attacks about it when I'm with people whose opinions I care about, particularly around guys or people I want to impress. I've got a seriously low self-esteem and I put a lot of pressure on myself socially and academically, so this might just be an extension of that, but I feel like it has to be my fault because seriously? Not even 16 and I'm driving away people like that.
I mean, people have called me weird or said things I'm doing are annoying, and so I try my best not to annoy them again in the same way because I get nervous they're gonna leave me if I annoy them too much, because that's what I assume happened with all those other people. They didn't give a reason but it has to be something to do with me, there has to be something I can change, there has to be something I can fix. I can do it if they'd just tell me WHAT IT IS, but they all keep leaving without an explanation, and that's what's really bugging me.
For context, I'm an anxious 15 year old, I'm academic and aiming for 8s (being realistic, 7s) at GCSEs, I'm in lots of school stuff such as our head girl team and yearbook committee, etc. I'm a bit awkward and weird socially, but people tell me I'm quite friendly and funny. I think I complain too much and I'm too loud and enthusiastic and also sometimes irritable when I'm exhausted, so sometimes I can come across as a bit short to some of my friends, but they've never said anything about it.
So, what should I do? I would ask my friends but that would sound severely desperate and like I'm attention-seeking, which I'm not, I genuinely am wondering.
Thanks.
I've had multiple occurrences in the past with both friends and people I'm interested in just suddenly leaving (4, to be precise. And I'm only 15.), and I don't know if it's something I'm doing wrong or what.
I just feel like if that many people have left me, it must be my fault, and nobody will ever like me or love me. I have panic attacks about it when I'm with people whose opinions I care about, particularly around guys or people I want to impress. I've got a seriously low self-esteem and I put a lot of pressure on myself socially and academically, so this might just be an extension of that, but I feel like it has to be my fault because seriously? Not even 16 and I'm driving away people like that.
I mean, people have called me weird or said things I'm doing are annoying, and so I try my best not to annoy them again in the same way because I get nervous they're gonna leave me if I annoy them too much, because that's what I assume happened with all those other people. They didn't give a reason but it has to be something to do with me, there has to be something I can change, there has to be something I can fix. I can do it if they'd just tell me WHAT IT IS, but they all keep leaving without an explanation, and that's what's really bugging me.
For context, I'm an anxious 15 year old, I'm academic and aiming for 8s (being realistic, 7s) at GCSEs, I'm in lots of school stuff such as our head girl team and yearbook committee, etc. I'm a bit awkward and weird socially, but people tell me I'm quite friendly and funny. I think I complain too much and I'm too loud and enthusiastic and also sometimes irritable when I'm exhausted, so sometimes I can come across as a bit short to some of my friends, but they've never said anything about it.
So, what should I do? I would ask my friends but that would sound severely desperate and like I'm attention-seeking, which I'm not, I genuinely am wondering.
Thanks.
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