The Student Room Group

I 18 F girl have a brother who is 30 years old, still lives at home, works full time

He moved back home in early 2022 due to “needing” a break from his fiancé after she gave birth and said he was saving up for his own flat (he bought a bmw instead) and we’ve been struggling with money and the situation at home since. He forced my parents to move out of their bedroom so he could have a bigger room to fit his “super king sized” bed in. He eats all our food while also eating the food he buys for himself (includes him buying himself takeaways every week). He uses the most electric in the house but still hasn’t paid a single penny. He will occasionally throw the washing that is currently in the washing machine on the floor just so he can wash his own clothes. He’s completely trashed our house and always leaves rubbish on the floor for other people to clean. He never helps tidy the house and his room smells. He made our living room into his own personal gaming room that he is always in and he is very aggressive when he plays. He has even sent pictures of our food (not his own) to his fiancé complaining to her about how he doesn’t get “fed properly” which led to her having and argument with my mum about not “looking after him”. Without fail everyday i make dinner and i always remember to cook him something but he never does the same for us. He has taken food i’ve bought for me and my other brother without asking multiple times before which has left us hungry. He’s brought make friends into our home while my parents have been at work without notifying me and i just feel uncomfortable.

Long story short my parents are starting to get sick of it and we have no idea what to do as he doesn’t listen and everything always ends in a big argument with him. Not really here looking for advice just really needed to get this off my chest.
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous #1
He moved back home in early 2022 due to “needing” a break from his fiancé after she gave birth and said he was saving up for his own flat (he bought a bmw instead) and we’ve been struggling with money and the situation at home since. He forced my parents to move out of their bedroom so he could have a bigger room to fit his “super king sized” bed in. He eats all our food while also eating the food he buys for himself (includes him buying himself takeaways every week). He uses the most electric in the house but still hasn’t paid a single penny. He will occasionally throw the washing that is currently in the washing machine on the floor just so he can wash his own clothes. He’s completely trashed our house and always leaves rubbish on the floor for other people to clean. He never helps tidy the house and his room smells. He made our living room into his own personal gaming room that he is always in and he is very aggressive when he plays. He has even sent pictures of our food (not his own) to his fiancé complaining to her about how he doesn’t get “fed properly” which led to her having and argument with my mum about not “looking after him”. Without fail everyday i make dinner and i always remember to cook him something but he never does the same for us. He has taken food i’ve bought for me and my other brother without asking multiple times before which has left us hungry. He’s brought make friends into our home while my parents have been at work without notifying me and i just feel uncomfortable.

Long story short my parents are starting to get sick of it and we have no idea what to do as he doesn’t listen and everything always ends in a big argument with him. Not really here looking for advice just really needed to get this off my chest.

Sounds awful. Like most things in life it takes 2 people to make an unhealthy dynamic. Id say stop doing nice things for him, and help parents to do the same. People like your brother think they can get away with things because he can/is.

Sometimes the only way for someone to stand on their feet is to give them a healthy push..out of the door.

Good luck.

Greg
Original post by Anonymous #1
He moved back home in early 2022 due to “needing” a break from his fiancé after she gave birth and said he was saving up for his own flat (he bought a bmw instead) and we’ve been struggling with money and the situation at home since. He forced my parents to move out of their bedroom so he could have a bigger room to fit his “super king sized” bed in. He eats all our food while also eating the food he buys for himself (includes him buying himself takeaways every week). He uses the most electric in the house but still hasn’t paid a single penny. He will occasionally throw the washing that is currently in the washing machine on the floor just so he can wash his own clothes. He’s completely trashed our house and always leaves rubbish on the floor for other people to clean. He never helps tidy the house and his room smells. He made our living room into his own personal gaming room that he is always in and he is very aggressive when he plays. He has even sent pictures of our food (not his own) to his fiancé complaining to her about how he doesn’t get “fed properly” which led to her having and argument with my mum about not “looking after him”. Without fail everyday i make dinner and i always remember to cook him something but he never does the same for us. He has taken food i’ve bought for me and my other brother without asking multiple times before which has left us hungry. He’s brought make friends into our home while my parents have been at work without notifying me and i just feel uncomfortable.

Long story short my parents are starting to get sick of it and we have no idea what to do as he doesn’t listen and everything always ends in a big argument with him. Not really here looking for advice just really needed to get this off my chest.

I hope something good comes out of all of this.
Reply 3
If all else has failed, your parents only choice is to kick him out, and force him to grow up. His a father now, and doesnt bare any of the responsibility, the best thing your parents can do is kick him out.
Reply 4
People need to learn to stand on their own two feet.

He's clearly using your house as a rat run. Don't welcome that sort of behaviour. If he's a father, he should be thinking of his children. Get him told.
Reply 5
Your parents need to either charge him a commercial rate of rent or kick him out. They should also put money aside to help support the child as he seems to be irresponsible.

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