I can't get over her

Hi, so i was speaking to this girl for 3 months. We would talk literally 24/7 and the vibe was just unreal. I knew when we started talking that she had only recently split up so she said to take it slow which I was fine with. We went on a date after 2 weeks of talking and carried on talking for a week after that. When discussing the second date she said she wasn't sure if she was ready for anything and suggested we stopped talking even though she didn't want to. I thought this was a polite way of saying she doesn't like me. A week later she then messaged me by replying to one of my stories and we just naturally started talking again. We never really mentioned what happened previously but we just got talking. we talked for another 2 months and things were great, i had no incline that the vibe wasn't the same. like the chats were better than ever, talking non stop and random 'funny' tiktoks were being sent. I'd had a really bad day one day and was stressing about stupid things and i randomly asked her where do i stand as why she messaged me again never really got discussed at all. The answers i got where 'i don't know' and 'she doesn't want to hurt me'. This led to us not talking again (her decision) and it killed me. I messaged her (a week later, drunk) and we spoke for another week before she told me that this shouldn't be happening. This was 3 weeks ago now.

I know i should move on but i don't want to miss out on something that is potentially so good because she is scared and just not emotionally ready yet. She deleted me on snap to stop us from talking but we still have eachother on all socials. I will post an instagram story and within minutes she would have viewed it. I know that probably means nothing but the overthinker in me tells me otherwise.

I want to message her again so badly as talking to her made me the happiest I have been in so long but i feel like it could make things worse.

Reply 1

Dunnig Kruger

Do you know what the cure for loneliness is?

It's being your own best friend.
So you want to talk to someone? Talk to yourself in your head.
You want to show someone something? Show yourself.
You want approval from someone? Do something that you approve of.
You want to be loved by someone? Love yourself.

In future when you get involved with a girl don't be a needy clingy person messaging them 24/7. Be someone that's great company to be with in real life. And inbetween real life meetings you largely leave them to get on with their life whilst you get on with yours.

Reply 2

Crazy Jamie

Careers Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymous

I know i should move on but i don't want to miss out on something that is potentially so good because she is scared and just not emotionally ready yet.

I understand that, but the issue is that that is not something you can fix or help her with, because in this respect you literally are the problem. She has said several times now that even if she does want to speak to you, she feels like she shouldn't be or that she is not ready to, and her feelings are sufficiently strong in that regard that she has cut contact off on a couple of occasions. Indeed the only reason that you spoke again the most recent time is because you messaged her, drunk, and against her wishes. The end result of that was her deleting you on Snapchat. I know it hurts, and it will take time to get over that, but you also need to respect her position on this, which is not only pretty clear, but is one that she has repeated several times.

Reply 3

Zarek

Leave the ball in her court, she knows how you feel and how to contact you. In the meanwhile get looking for someone who is up for it. There is not just one dream girl, there are many. Too much angst over something that may well not work will, in hindsight, be wasted time and energy