The Student Room Group

Relationship issue

Do you think this is fair, my boyfriend has practically been living with me the past 4 months, I rent on my own, pay my council tax water etc, I’ve paid for all the food shops and fed him, he does all his washing here etc, he’s maybe contributed half to the shop twice. Now he’s “living” at his moms and paying board there even though he’s there maybe one or two nights a month if that, we’ve spoken about him “properly” moving in but he always says oh I basically do don’t I, I just don’t find it fair I’m literally paying for everything on my own whilst he has a better job than me, I was basically hinting about him contributing but his reply was I’m gonna pay my mom board this month she’s struggling” meanwhile I’m not exactly well off paying for absolutely everything on my own, his mom also has his brother living there who pays board too and she owns her home with no mortgage etc am I being heartless in just saying he can go back and live with his mom if he can’t contribute to living with me, also getting him to do his part of the cleaning is annoying as he won’t do it unless I tell him and I just feel like I’m nagging.
honestly i would say pay up or pack up, i dont think thats heartless. you’re paying for it each time he uses your shower, washes his clothes, uses electricity etc. i wouldn’t allow someone to live with me without contributing boyfriend or not.
Reply 2
Finances can be one of the major points of disagreement in a relationship.

Don't just hint; sit him down and go through the bills with him and show how unequal things are. If he's not willing to discuss it or to contribute after that, you could take affirmative action. One, for a period you just buy your own food, turn off the washer if he's using it, the TV etc and say you can't afford to keep paying for him. Two, ditch him.

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