friend advice needed (again) more of a vent but wtf idrc

okayy so i don't want to make this long or too detailed because if this got found i would be doneeeee for

anyways, there's several of us in a group and were planning a girls holiday to malaga to celebrate the end of our first year of university. myself and another girl have been planning it pretty much all, there's another girl not really involved (she's a 'tell me where to deposit the money and jobs good' typa person, plus she's in a different uni but not far away so not super involved in this thing)

anyways yup its me and friend a, friend b not involved and then there's friend c. since i've basically been planning the entire holiday, she was pessimistic about it from the beginning. since then i have helped her with money solutions, with calendar clash solutions - LITERALLY EVERYTHING

its just everytime it was a new thing and a new thing. call me stupid i thought this was because she nervous about the situation etc etc so i really was being understanding and trying to help.

anyways (minus a load of details because as previously stated, if this is found i'm cooooked) she told me (after weeks of not knowing whilst prices were going up to a point we couldn't really afford and, retrospectively, begging her to meet up so we could literally just have one discussion to make sure everything worked for her) that she didn't wanna go. she said me and our two mates could go, she didn't want us to feel like we couldn't etc etc etc and that SHE wouldn't be mad at US should be decide to go (i could go into such detail but i literally had to spend an hour messaging w screenshots an influencer who doesnt know i exist all the drama because i was so ****ed off)

anyways, she said some super like what the hell **** to me, and to friend a who helped me with planning. like **** that would make you take a double take and go sorry where did you get the fr audacity????

anyways, friend a is super non confrontational and even then she was telling me about the **** friend c was talking about me, and saying how she was really worked up over the situation because i'd pressured her (i have screenshots of our conversations i can send to ******* anyone where i literally go 'please don't stress about any of this, we can have a conversation and work it out when you're free etc etc)

like im being sooo fr i've never been this mature in an argument

i thought it was chill because i didn't react at allllllll and just accepted her being a ***** and moved on because i value the peace over a dumb ******* argument. anyways, (forgot to mention, she's going on three outings this year that are 1+ week each that i knowww will be costing up to £700 just for her (shes going with two cousins) and then two holidays on top of that)

so that really riled me up but i accepted it and moved on like the mature ******* adult i am. anyways, this past few months i've been dealing with a lot of home **** i don't like talking about (but you could easily take a guess/or they know basics and thats all they need), i've got the biggest workload i've ever had before (something else that is literally gonna dictate my future), uni, and a friend they don't like who is literally my best friend who i found out is suicidal.

anyways, i found out from friend a that she'd been keeping the peace on a bunch of shady **** that friend c has been doing for literally since i met them

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

oopsies posted this before it was meant to go out. anyways, they've been keeping shady stuff quiet and icl i understand why because if we fell out it would be awkward (hence why im ranting here and not going to shady friend c).

over the past month, she's been making snide comments and being really unfeeling when i've been stressed or focused on important stuff. and she's since amped up the comments to friend a whose been letting me know because while i know she doesn't want to argue she knows whats happening and friend c's behaviour is trashy atm. the last i heard, she was mad that we had to change girl holiday destination (we haven't spoken about the trip in front of her because we didn't want the air to be awkward etc, she always brings it up with friend a but never meee because god forbid she argue with me). don't get me wrong, i'm super excited for the new location, but she was literally saying stuff like 'well she was so obsessive about malaga' (we agreed it was our no.1 place from a list. she had no involvement in planning. in fact she actually avoided planning) and now she's found we're going somewhere different, its like she's mad we haven't invited her again (despite me offering her a new location, despite her telling us a proper no she couldn't come). its like what??/ do you want us to beg at your feet so you might consider coming on a holiday with us three that in hindsight, i don't actually think she wanted to come in the first place for some reason.

anyways, one of her main reasons was that apparently she couldn't afford it (she could, she just would prefer to do other stuff above it. i'd be fine with this so long she told us instead of lying about it, waiting for two months to the point that costs for flights and accom had gone too high for it to be split four ways, let alone three).

i was so emotionally invested in this friendship,, that it feels this shady behaviour is just the limit. i have my boundaries, and you can always talk to me if you don't feel good about something but you HAVE to communicate it or tell me upfront. lying or waiting or trying to break me in gently will only **** me off.

its gotten to the point where i'm like just thinking about it everytime i look at her. she made a comment during a free period when the comments originally started where i made a reference about someone irritating me and she said 'to be honest thats me with everyone right now' and i was like yes?????? i've bloody picked up on that

two of her holidays she didn't actually tell us about, because she knew we'd pick up that she was lying about the money situation. in fact, we found out from a super awkward conversation with her cousin who goes to our uni, and she'd still planning new stuff. like three days ago i found out about more new plans she was making despite saying she had no more money to plan stuff??? like what the hellllll

like, two of her holidays are majorly related to stuff i've introduced her to. one of them was something i would want to go on, and she's progressively been mentioning them to (i think??) try and make me jealous. hate to break it to her, but thats not happening, mainly because i have my own plans i think she's jealous of (this is the big future deciding thing i've got on rn). even though my other friends have just talked about how proud they are of me and happy for me. its not like ive been bragging or insensitive, it just came up when i told them what i was in for.

anyways. think im done. was reallt mad and needed even more people to know because ive spoken my bf and roommates ears off about this in order to vent and try and get it off my chest o i dont act up when i see her.

thanks for reading, strangers.