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Shyness :(

My shyness is getting pretty exhausting. I can just about going to school, going places with my family, or doing things with my best friend.

However if I just want to do something fun like hang round my friends houses with a group of us, I get jittery and feel sick. I spend ages and ages getting ready, worrying about my appearance, changing, and then eventually making an excuse not to go anyway. My friends get annoyed and don't ask me to do as much stuff with me anymore- this makes me sad but I don't know how to explain to them. I feel really, really nervous and sick going out on my own or anything involving new people and try to avoid these situations as much as possible.

It's really depressing because I like talking to people, I have friends it's just ridiculously hard talking to people who I don't know well, even if they're just like my teachers or other sixth formers. I just grin like an idiot and nod because I panic and can't think of anything to say, and if I do it's really bland yes/no stuff. So...all my teachers think I'm a moron/lazy in lessons. It feels like my whole life is being constructed to accommodate my shyness.

It's also getting worse- in English we do readings pretty much every week, about a page each which isn't a lot but I feel nauseous, my heartbeat races and I feel like I'm going to die. It's really killing my motivation for the subject and I get nervous just going to the lessons. One of my teachers is also pretty unpredictable and shouts, also asks me questions a lot even though I take loads of notes to show I'm not just being lazy and this makes me nervous.

I know it's pathetic but I really need some advice. :frown:

chill out

trust me

yeah i had the laziness problem
you HAVE to forece yourself an jus chill out

Reply 3

ali_92

do sum reli crazy **** n ul gt used t it

Reply 4

Stanza

9

dont worry everybody is human like u
i bet there are more ppl there that are worse than uuuuuuuuuuu
just chillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Reply 5

Sarahl89

15

You have to force yourself to go places despite those feelings, you'll hate it at first but just act. Pretend like you're fine & confident and gradually & eventually you may realise you aren't pretending anymore. Its not easy but its possible, you just have to force yourself to get over it.

Reply 6

XeaL`

Sarahl89

You have to force yourself to go places despite those feelings, you'll hate it at first but just act. Pretend like you're fine & confident and gradually & eventually you may realise you aren't pretending anymore. Its not easy but its possible, you just have to force yourself to get over it.

+1
Very well said.

You are so like me

I'm not going to lie or post as anonymous, but he/she is a lot like myself, too. I was as bad as described above, however it's getting better.
It takes a lot of will-power to overcome. By a lot, I mean, EVERYTHING you can muster.
Keep strong & always remember it's for the best, even if it feels horrible.

Good luck <3

Reply 9

kelly1989

I used to be like that when I was at school. I've had a few different jobs since leaving and that built up my confidence... because you are forced to answer phones/speak to customers, that develops communication skills. If you don't want to get a job then maybe just go crazy one day; just be really loud for the hell of it - you will realise it's easier to be loud/confident than it is being shy/withdrawn. I'd add that it's not unusual for people to be shy when they meet new people, but you will overcome it, it just takes time

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

Sounds like you're having panic attacks in lessons. Well, you're showing some of the symptoms. Do breathing exercises, there is something some people get called Bach's rescue remedy, whether it's anything more than a placebo I don't know - but the placebo effect isn't to be written off. You can get Bach's rescue remedy in liquid and sweet-like form. You don't have to be prescribed these either. If you're having real problems with your breathing and panic when in college or what-not, you might be best going to your GP and you could be prescribed a beta-blocker like propranolol, usually used to treat high blood pressure IIRC but commonly used to calm the body. I'm obviously no medical expert myself but if you're having anxiety problems and such-like, your GP could offer advice and refer you to other services that deal with your type of problems.

Reply 11

oh_adele

8

Anxiety is just an emotion like any other, it's not special. You just have to face it head on, and eventually you'll start to think "Hey, this isn't so bad" and things will become so much easier.

Reply 12

Anonymous #3

oh_adele

Anxiety is just an emotion like any other, it's not special. You just have to face it head on, and eventually you'll start to think "Hey, this isn't so bad" and things will become so much easier.

Anxiety can be considerably debilitating tbh.

Reply 13

Double Agent

18

I used to be like this, my anxiety was crippling. It is sort of like having another person there, telling you that you should do things a certain way to make it go better, and not to do certain things. Stop listening to it, you need to only ever do what you inside want to do, no matter how scary, lame, fun that thing may be. Confidence comes from accepting who you are, embracing it and having fun. Something my counseller told me is this. First off think of the worst thing that could happen. Now think of what would happen after that, and now after that. It almost always turns out that the fear is worse than the thing you were scared and avoided in the first place. So face what you fear, if you always do that eventually you fear nothing cause you can do anything, there's no reason not to. A good but takes a lot of balls trick to boost confidence and stop that feeling of self conciousness is to draw big red circles on your face, then walk around a busy town. People will look, they may comment, but it will make you reaslise they wont do you any harm, they can be trusted. Something else you could do is buy a load of balloons and hand them out in town, get chatting to people by the end of the day you will be a pro. Obviously these last tips are slightly out there, but they work.

Reply 14

oh_adele

8

Anonymous

Anxiety can be considerably debilitating tbh.

Evidently. I was simply implying that it can be overcome, and that the OP shouldn't let it become overly debilitating.

Reply 15

93Cherries

I was like that too but ever since i started college i realised that if i stayed that way i want going to get anywhere. i didnt actually do anything to change the way i was..it just sorta happened by itself and now I'm a different person. i think the fact that you avoid social situations is making it worse- you should go out and mix with people (I know its easy for me to say that) but you need to force yourself cuz no-one else is going to. :smile:

Shyness :(

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