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If you suspected your friend's boyfriend was gay would you tell her? Watch

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    My friend has been going on about her 'wonderful, handsome, perfect' boyfriend for a while. He is her first proper boyfriend and she seems really happy.

    I finally got to meet him yesterday at a party and the first thing that struck me was that he was extremely 'camp' in his voice, mannerisms and fashion sense. If I didn't know he was her boyfriend I would assume he was a gay friend of hers.

    It was clear that I was not the only person who felt that way, many of her friends from uni (who I'd only just met) were making suggestive comments and jokes throughout the night.

    He also over-exaggerates public displays of affection; kissing and cuddling her at every opportunity. When I mentioned this to her she said that in private he is the complete opposite and sometimes she dresses up sexy for him and he ignores her! :erm:

    My friend is smitten with this guy and appears completely oblivious to everything. I hate the idea of her uni friends making jokes behind her back and I feel as if I should confront her to prevent her from making a fool out of herself. What would you do?!
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    Well, a lot of straight men can be like this. But I don't think I'd mention it to her unless you are absolutely certain. And forget the uni friends.
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    I've known many people who fall under the category "Camp, but not gay".

    Get to know this fella, maybe he is gay, and is using your friend as a cover, which is always possible. It's always possible though that that's just the way he is.
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    Did he have his **** up some guy's arse? No? Then you can't know he's gay.
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    I wouldn't say anything, honestly even if you are sure she would probably not appreciate it at all and it might spoil your friendship for a short time even if you do turn out to be right. I think you should just let her be happy for now and be there for her if it turns out he is gay. oh and ignore her uni friends.
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    Maybe he just wants to appear straight? :dontknow:

    But honestly, I don't believe those reasons are strong enough to assume he's gay
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    she's his beard.
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    If I suspected someone's boyfriend was gay of course I'd tell them, and I wouldn't have to post on a forum to ask such a simple question. I'd also take the piss endlessly, and probably ask the boyfriend, "are you gay?"
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    I wouldn't tell her. It will only cause a massive row between the two of you, especially if it turns out you are wrong. If he is gay, well she'll find out at some point won't she? At least she's happy. In my experience people never like to hear that they might be wrong about their partner in any sense.
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    Short of you seeing your friends boyfriend with his tool up another guys poo shoot, I really wouldn't call him out on it/mention it to her.
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    STFU! I am quite camp yet I am still straight. I know plenty of people who are camp yet have wives and kids.

    Being camp doesn't neccessarily mean gay, the same way being gay doesn't mean your neccessarily camp.
    • #2
    #2

    Well my first real boyfriend was like that. Camp, gay undertones, people making jokes. He just went along with it a lot of the time but obv drew the line when it was a bit ott. He would always cuddle me and hold my hand etc in public but he seemed to be very reluctant to go out alone together. Having said that, our convos were always very deep.

    I was absolutely smitten with him. As it turned out, he was gay and when people (mutual friends) found out, they all assumed that the reason would be that he was gay. So I asked why they didn't tell me, to stop me from getting into it and they just said that they didn't think i'd believe them because I loved him so much.

    It still hurts beyond imagination probs cos he was my first love. We're very good friends still tho.
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    If my friend was an extremely close friend, then yes. If they were anything but that, I wouldn't think it was my place to say.
    • #3
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    hes gay for certain. don't say anything, your her friend so its not your place to say
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    hes gay for certain. don't say anything, your her friend so its not your place to say
    How do you know that? As others have said, straight guys can act this way. There is absolutely no way you can tell with absolute certainty that someone is gay based on one meeting, or one block of text.

    I'm not sure I understand the "would you tell her" part. I'm sure she knows he acts camp. I'm sure she knows he's got a camp voice whatever that is supposed to mean, and I'm sure she knows how he dresses. Unless you've seen him having sex with other men, what exactly is there to tell? I'm lost.
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    Oh dear, so because hes slightly camp, in touch with his emotions, "metrosexual" to coin a phrase, then he must be gay??? :rolleyes:

    would you rather he conformed to the opposite stereotypes? of bottling everything up, not showing affection, emotions because of the british "stiff upper lip" and grunting every now and then while calling his woman "come here wench" while treating her like **** and going out all night on lads nights out!
 
 
 
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