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Parents refuse to give ANY financial help for uni

I kind of suspected this day was coming but didn't really think much of it. Anyway, just had a lengthy conversation with mum and she says my father won't help me at all with money next year. My mum is a housewife and so my dad is the sole earner and she's tried persuading him, apparently, but he'd rather spend his money on his mother and seven, yes SEVEN, siblings (5 of them male and over 25 who didn't go uni and just lay about at home, which my dad bought for them 10 minutes away from ours) than to help me further my education.

Apparently the reason is because the Universities I've applied to are quite far from home and he'd rather I stay at home but in any case I was going to have to at least get the tuition student loan anyway, which he promised to pay a few months ago but I had my doubts. I don't really think I can be blamed for wanting to get away from people like these but that wasn't even the reason I applied to Universities away from home. The only half decent Uni near my house is Brunel and I really think I can do better than that so didn't even bother applying to it.

Blahhh aside. What now? Do you guys think I can survive on student loans alone?

Also I've had a problem about multitasking studying with work and don't think I'd be able to cope. I'm not lazy or anything but if I'm doing one thing I like to just do that and don't think I'd be able to mix work + good degree. I almost failed my GCSEs because of this but realized in time that I had to quit my job.

Sorry if I rambled on. Any advice would be appreciated.

EDIT: Just remembered this... sometime during the middle of next year I need to pay £4000 for a surgery which isn't covered by NHS. Will have to go Cyprus or someplace and it could be a bit tricky if I delay it. They are also refusing help with that. ISN'T UNI GOING TO BE FAN-****ING-TASTIC?

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 1

kerily

15

I'm in the same situation - my parents refuse to give me anything while I'm at uni because it's them who worked for their money and not me, and because they think 'you're meant to be better-off when your children leave home to go to university.' I actually agree in theory to the former point, but my student loan/grant eligibility will be calculated based on an assumption that they'll be financially supporting me, while they won't be, so I'm going to find it difficult to cope on the regular loan amount.

I think we may end up having to take out bank loans, OP. Tuition fee loans cover your fees, and then you can get a student loan of about £3k a year, which should cover accommodation. Anything to live on outside of that will have to come from jobs/savings/loans taken out privately. It sucks, it really does, but this is what I've resigned myself to doing. :frown:

Reply 2

The*Doctor's*Rose

Yes, you can survive on student loans alone.
How much does your dad earn? You could get the full grant, which is around £3000. Then there's a £3400 loan, and the other loan goes directly to the uni.
Apply for a part-time job as well, even if it's £20 a week you can still survive on that.
it will make you appreciate things so much more at the end of it.

I do feel sorry for you, as my uni situation was similar with my mum, but not with my dad.

Reply 3

snufkin_

12

a similar thing happened to me, you can definately survive on student loan alone. If you get your parents to write a letter/or someone else in authority detailing that your estrange from them or they are refusing to help you financially, you can apply for the full loan, the full grant, the ascess to learning fund (ALF FORM). If your in receipt of these most universities give you bursaries as well, legally this has to be at least £500 but some unis offer as much as £2000. You can very comfortably survive on the full grants and bursaries available to you, and for some extra money you can often work for the universities for a couple of days a month in admin/open days etc for a few extra hundred every now and again.

Reply 4

x.Lauren.xXx

2

Ohh I feel a rant coming.....this is what makes me soooo unbelievably sick about what this joke of a coalition are deciding do next year. The prats have grown up with a golden spoon shoved up their tight arses and have probably never experienced a strained budget in their lives. By raising the uni fees there will be absolutely no hope with people with no finacial support from 'mother and papa' to being able to overcome the crippling tution fees and solely survive off student loans/minimalistic government grant.........it makes me feel absolutely naseous and God help Clegg or Cameron if they ever have the misfortune of bumping into me in a dark dim lit alleyway......

Reply 5

~*DarkAngel*~

I wouldn't worry about it man... your blowing this way out of proportion :/

I don't get any financial help from my parents because they can't afford it, and I manage to survive off my student loan, buy food, go out, pay rent and run my car...

if your that bothered, get a job when you get to uni, like most other people that need money...
~Dark~

Reply 6

0906079

OP

Well, I'm not really sure how much my dad earns but he's been away a lot on personal trips this year so I'm assuming he just kind of took the year off... either way, I'm getting the full grant and the loan even if I have to get my parents to write a letter disowning me.

Reply 7

kerily

15

Original post by snufkin_

If you get your parents to write a letter/or someone else in authority detailing that your estrange from them or they are refusing to help you financially, you can apply for the full loan, the full grant, the ascess to learning fund (ALF FORM).

Do you have a link to anywhere giving this information in a more official way? It would be really useful for me if I could do this :smile:

Reply 8

alibobs

14

Hmmm to be honest I don't think you have a problem. You can live on student loans and if you can't, get a p/t job to top up your money. I won't be getting financial help from my parents either, it's not a big deal. I can see why you would be kinda sore about him paying for his siblings but not you, but it's his money to do what he wants with at the end of the day. what surgery do you need that's potentially lifesaving but not covered by the NHS?

Reply 9

snufkin_

12

Original post by kerily

Do you have a link to anywhere giving this information in a more official way? It would be really useful for me if I could do this :smile:

yeah its all when you apply for student finance though.

the bursary will be on whatever universities website you are applying to.

the rest is on

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/EducationAndLearning/UniversityAndHigherEducation/StudentFinance/Gettingstarted/index.htm

thats a calculator so they work it out for you

http://www.studentfinance.direct.gov.uk/portal/page?_pageid=153,4680136&_dad=portal&_schema=PORTAL

the access to learning fund is done differently though. It is a physical form you fill out, with a little essay from you in it saying why you deserve the money and what your financial hardship is.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/EducationAndLearning/UniversityAndHigherEducation/StudentFinance/Extrahelp/DG_171615

and the different charities depend on where abouts in the country you live.

I work for admin for the uni which is how i know about them haha

I know about ones in liverpool but if your from any other city you will just have to google.

Hope this helps!

Reply 10

snufkin_

12

oh and! loads of universities offer loads of different scholarships i.e if you get over 340 UCAS points or loads of different ones depending on what course you want to take so their worth looking into too.

Reply 11

jb9191

3

Aberystwyth offers scholarships for some courses for 300 UCAS Points

The cost of living is also cheap.
Plus an £800 residential bursary off first year accommodation which is already cheap compared to some other universities to start off.

This would leave more of your maintenance loan for you to spend on living - food, clothes, etc.

I feared the same thing as you at first but fortunately when I said I was going they said they'd support me and so far they have massively.

Also, if you get through the first year or two years then the university will support you financially if you can prove your struggling and they will give you enough to get through to complete your course.

Also, have you thought of applying to a sandwich course (1 year in industry) if you can get through the first 2 years of university with little money, then whilst working you get paid you can save some to have a better final year. You also get a part maintenance loan for the 3rd year of about £1600 which will go some way to paying for your accommodation. Even if you don't get paid whilst on the placement as not all companies do pay you, you'll often get your expenses paid for.

You wouldn't really want to defer entry as in the long run that'll land you with more debt due to the increased tuition fees - which 100% do affect entrys deferred to 2012.

You may also want to look here

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/student-money-saving

I feel for you as it must be a terrible situation to be in. After all, you'd expect parents to be proud of your achievements so far and fully committed to you wanting to carry that on. After all, it will be you who will more than likely be expected to help them out when their into their retirement ages.

Reply 12

Nightstar-27

12

In same situation, planning to get a job (HA!). But I'll be doing some serious budgeting and under eating.

Reply 13

scottpilgrim

I have the same problem, but I'm not entitled to the full maintainance grant from ye lovely olde government due to earnings or whatever, so will I have to get a bank loan out aswell?

Reply 14

jb9191

3

Original post by scottpilgrim

I have the same problem, but I'm not entitled to the full maintainance grant from ye lovely olde government due to earnings or whatever, so will I have to get a bank loan out aswell?

Don't do that. You'll get hit with commercial interest rates that will mess up your finances for years.

You'd be better of getting your parents, college tutor or GP to write a letter you can send with your student finance application that states you are estranged from your parents and they are not going to help you financially through university.

Then you apply for 100% of the loans and you should get them. You will probably get the grants as well as you'll be classed as independent due to being estranged.

I'd never take out a commercial loan to be honest, a student overdraft is bad enough.

Reply 15

scottpilgrim

Original post by jb9191

Don't do that. You'll get hit with commercial interest rates that will mess up your finances for years.

You'd be better of getting your parents, college tutor or GP to write a letter you can send with your student finance application that states you are estranged from your parents and they are not going to help you financially through university.

Then you apply for 100% of the loans and you should get them. You will probably get the grants as well as you'll be classed as independent due to being estranged.

I'd never take out a commercial loan to be honest, a student overdraft is bad enough.

wow, that never even occured to me, thanks for the heads up!
I will indeed send the letter, thankyou :smile:

Reply 16

polygirl

ou people actually considered what you are writing about your parents. After 18 years of supporting you, nutritionally, emotionally, & financially, you are now legally classed as adults. Parents at this point in your life cease to be entitled to child benefit, maintenance payments etc, yet are expected to continue to contribute to your upkeep. In my case, the loss of these payments amounts to £300.00 per month. Student Finance admit they only look at gross income and any financial commitments, such as mortgage, rent, loans that may predate your acceptance into university are disregarded. So if i earned £2000 per month but had to pay £1750 mortgage, I would be left with only £250 for food and bills. Unfortunately Student Loans do not care what you parents actually have left to spend and parents are left with the dilemma of honouring prior financial commitments or the emotional blackmail of having to support a person who is legally an adult. At the end of the day you are all legally adults, legally your parents have no obligation to support you, the government continues to short change studeints by forcing them to believe in their dependence upon their parents - the only winners in this are the politicians (who are usually old enough to have been students when fees were paid for them and students got adequate maintenance grants, not loans). If students have got any resentments regarding maintenance, you really should be directing this at politicians, not parents.
t

Reply 17

nulli tertius

21

Original post by polygirl

ou people actually considered what you are writing about your parents. After 18 years of supporting you, nutritionally, emotionally, & financially, you are now legally classed as adults. Parents at this point in your life cease to be entitled to child benefit, maintenance payments etc, yet are expected to continue to contribute to your upkeep. In my case, the loss of these payments amounts to £300.00 per month. Student Finance admit they only look at gross income and any financial commitments, such as mortgage, rent, loans that may predate your acceptance into university are disregarded. So if i earned £2000 per month but had to pay £1750 mortgage, I would be left with only £250 for food and bills. Unfortunately Student Loans do not care what you parents actually have left to spend and parents are left with the dilemma of honouring prior financial commitments or the emotional blackmail of having to support a person who is legally an adult. At the end of the day you are all legally adults, legally your parents have no obligation to support you, the government continues to short change studeints by forcing them to believe in their dependence upon their parents - the only winners in this are the politicians (who are usually old enough to have been students when fees were paid for them and students got adequate maintenance grants, not loans). If students have got any resentments regarding maintenance, you really should be directing this at politicians, not parents.
t

Parental contributions have existed more or less successfully for 50 years. That is an awful lot of politicians and an awful lot of voters who have not thought fit to change the system.

In this day and age, there are not many parents who have not had at least five years warning that their child would be going into HE and therefore had an opportunity to plan their expenditure around this commitment.

Reply 18

Jacoti

4

I've never really understood why middle class parents are so opposed to the idea of helping their own children through university.

Reply 19

james22

16

Original post by x.Lauren.xXx

Ohh I feel a rant coming.....this is what makes me soooo unbelievably sick about what this joke of a coalition are deciding do next year. The prats have grown up with a golden spoon shoved up their tight arses and have probably never experienced a strained budget in their lives. By raising the uni fees there will be absolutely no hope with people with no finacial support from 'mother and papa' to being able to overcome the crippling tution fees and solely survive off student loans/minimalistic government grant.........it makes me feel absolutely naseous and God help Clegg or Cameron if they ever have the misfortune of bumping into me in a dark dim lit alleyway......

How does the raised tuition fees affect peoples ability to pay? They reaised the tuition fee loan by exactly the same amount as the fees so it doesn't cost any extra upfront and certainly doesn't affect anyones ability to pay it.

Parents refuse to give ANY financial help for uni

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