Anon please, he uses this
.
Personally, I don't believe that things should be equal. I believe that a couple should work as a team.
When I got with my partner (years ago) I had more money than him, as he was unemployed and lived in a flat that was eating through every penny he got in benefits. So whenever we went out anywhere for a meal, I would just pay for it, because I knew that it wasn't fair to expect him to when he didn't have much.
When he finally got out of his flat, I paid several thousand pounds worth of debt off for him so it would stop adding interest on it, and he paid me back over the course of a year, bit by bit. He always comes round to mine for meals - I never go round to his because he doesn't cook - which means that I pay for everything we need for the meal when I go shopping. I don't mind.
At the moment, I don't have much cash to spare. He knows this. He's now working, and has been for a couple of years, so he's in a much stronger financial position, and owns a brand new car and has about £800 a month left when all of the bills are paid. On the other hand, I'm lucky if I have anything left over at all. Whenever we go out for meals now, we pay 50/50. Even on my birthday we split the bill, despite the fact that I paid for his birthday meal.
I mentioned about how worried I was about money, and how down it gets me when I can't go out for a meal with him because I can't afford it. We don't go to particularly expensive places. £15 would cover my meal and a drink, but it's still money I can't afford to get rid of.
Am I wrong for feeling seriously resentful that he doesn't treat me sometimes when we go out? As I say, I paid for meals all the time when he couldn't afford to, and still buy the food and drink for when I cook for him at mine.
I'm not saying this because he's the man and I feel they should pay for everything. I'm saying it because when he was the one in this situation with money I made sure he could still go out and do nice things, whereas now things are the other way round he just never bothers at all, and is happy to let me put my half of the meal on my credit card - knowing full well that it's building up and I'm having to pay interest on the thing.
Am I being unfair? What can I say to make him understand how I feel?