Ok it's too difficult to explain everything but I don't get along with my parents at all. I always mess up. Always.
At least once a day.
This morning my dad said I had no wisdom at the breakfast table because I was just playing with an apple like throwing it in the air because I was so bored.
Then just there, I accidently spilled the water jug on the floor because I'm so ducking clumsy.
I always do these stupid dumb things.
My parents response is always the same:
"You have no brain."
"You're becoming so stupid"
Or something Along the lines
My mum even said last month she only looks after me because she has no other choice.
I'm the worst child ever. Because of all this anger I am becoming angry for no reason.
My parents hate me. I don't want to hate them but i increasingly am.
I don't get what's wrong with me: even in school where I hide all this and pretend I'm the happiest person in the world I can't make friends. I try to be so nice and witty and what not. I invite people, try to be outgoing despite being shy and I never get anything in return. I walk around the school at lunchtimes; from top to bottom, outside and inside.
I'm sick of being so alone.
When I tell my mum about these problems; she tells me it's my fault: I am the one who does try hard enough; I'm the one who lets down other people; I'm the one who should make plans to meet up with potential friends.
So this is why I never even share anything with my parents. It bottles up inside me and only releases in the form of tears.
I don't know why I made this post