I am a Catholic and I have a 20 year old son and I've never been married. I was initially going to marry my son's father, but considering he was a violent alcoholic who used to hit me while I was pregnant even, the notion of marriage to him was a teensy bit off putting eventually. He's been dead for ten years now anyway. I remember speaking to a priest about it when I was pregnant. He told me that although marriage, especially where a child is concerned is the ideal, in my situation, to marry a man like that and potentially be putting my child's welfare at risk would be very sinful indeed. I had actually at that point left him, and the priest told me I had absolutely done the right thing, in putting my unborn baby first. I have a much older friend who is really devout . She is 70 [i'm 49]. People of her generation are into it a lot more [Catholicism, not sex LOL]. She told me when she was young she was engaged to be married to someone who was the love of her life. As a Catholic, she wanted to wait until she was married. But he persuaded her it was OK to lose her virginity beforehand, because they were so in love. It transpires he was a happily married man. She was left devastated in every way and for every reason. But she eventually found love and married many decades later in her fifties. I think in this day and age,rightly or wrongly, people don't adhere to it as much. The key of course, is finding someone you love who shares the same beliefs and values. If that means a relationship beforehand it has to be something you are both comfortable with. If I had not been "living in sin" with my son's father for eight months I would never have found out truly what he was like as a person. Plus, I would never have got pregnant and had my wonderful son, so I believe in both instances it was the right thing to do at that time. If I hadn't have got pregnant I would probably have stayed with him. With a child on the way however, I knew I had to get the hell away from him. [Still went back to him a few times but it never worked]. He loved us both very much, but he loved alcohol more,sadly. Good luck though !!