[To catholics] Do you wait with sex till marriage?

I think you will find this aspect of the creed is largely ignored. Don't worry.

Reply 2

markova21

I am a Catholic and I have a 20 year old son and I've never been married. I was initially going to marry my son's father, but considering he was a violent alcoholic who used to hit me while I was pregnant even, the notion of marriage to him was a teensy bit off putting eventually. He's been dead for ten years now anyway. I remember speaking to a priest about it when I was pregnant. He told me that although marriage, especially where a child is concerned is the ideal, in my situation, to marry a man like that and potentially be putting my child's welfare at risk would be very sinful indeed. I had actually at that point left him, and the priest told me I had absolutely done the right thing, in putting my unborn baby first. I have a much older friend who is really devout . She is 70 [i'm 49]. People of her generation are into it a lot more [Catholicism, not sex LOL]. She told me when she was young she was engaged to be married to someone who was the love of her life. As a Catholic, she wanted to wait until she was married. But he persuaded her it was OK to lose her virginity beforehand, because they were so in love. It transpires he was a happily married man. She was left devastated in every way and for every reason. But she eventually found love and married many decades later in her fifties. I think in this day and age,rightly or wrongly, people don't adhere to it as much. The key of course, is finding someone you love who shares the same beliefs and values. If that means a relationship beforehand it has to be something you are both comfortable with. If I had not been "living in sin" with my son's father for eight months I would never have found out truly what he was like as a person. Plus, I would never have got pregnant and had my wonderful son, so I believe in both instances it was the right thing to do at that time. If I hadn't have got pregnant I would probably have stayed with him. With a child on the way however, I knew I had to get the hell away from him. [Still went back to him a few times but it never worked]. He loved us both very much, but he loved alcohol more,sadly. Good luck though !!

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 3

ironingplaylist

9

Original post by Little Toy Gun

Don't worry, if it's not bareback heterosexual vaginal sexual intercourse with climax from the male side between two members of a Roman Catholic marriage, it doesn't count as sex.

So using a condom & oral sex is allowed?

Reply 4

Claire461

Original post by ironingplaylist

So using a condom & oral sex is allowed?

Sacrilege! Sacrilege! you are instantly excommunicated. For your penance say 10 decades of the rosary, 12 Hail Marys and get out of my confessional. X

Reply 5

Claire461

Original post by Timothy01

I converted to catholicism recently and also going to a church youth group filled with university students. I know that waiting till marriage is a thing in catholicism, but do young catholics (i mean someone who actually practice their religion and wasn't just baptized) actually do this nowadays? I've never had the chance to speak about this with my group, so i'm curious, especially because there's a chance i'm going to meet a girl in this group.

As for me, sex is a big part of intimacy which is a big part of being in a relationship, i cannot imagine being in a relationship without it and it's not the guy in me who's speaking right now. I know it sound too convenient to exlude this from my religion, but it's not really about that. I mean i would never marry someone without being together for at least 2-3 years. And spend that kind of time without ever having sex? That just sounds weird to me, honestly.

There was a time, and to an extent there still is in many parts of the world, where Catholicism dictated the way people should live their lives, so it depends whether you want this for yourself or not,or for future relationships/marriage. I was brought up in care of the RC Church and I would call it no less than indoctrination. All sex was dirty, in or out (excuse the pun) of marriage. If you didn't talk about it, then it didn't happen and if you did it before marriage, got found out, you were in the ****, and if it resulted in. A pregnancy, then you were in even deeper **** and it was off to the Madalenes with you or the 'Maggies' as we called it.
So if anyone mentions the Maggies, run for your life. You will be OK you are male, but if you are female......

Reply 6

Airmed

Original post by Seamus123

There was a time, and to an extent there still is in many parts of the world, where Catholicism dictated the way people should live their lives, so it depends whether you want this for yourself or not,or for future relationships/marriage. I was brought up in care of the RC Church and I would call it no less than indoctrination. All sex was dirty, in or out (excuse the pun) of marriage. If you didn't talk about it, then it didn't happen and if you did it before marriage, got found out, you were in the ****, and if it resulted in. A pregnancy, then you were in even deeper **** and it was off to the Madalenes with you or the 'Maggies' as we called it.
So if anyone mentions the Maggies, run for your life. You will be OK you are male, but if you are female......

I'd be worried if anyone ever mentioned the Maggies to me. :tongue:

OP, I'm what you call a nominal Catholic. My relationship with religion is love/hate. I went to a Catholic grammar, it was all very religious (lol, N.Ireland is great) and yeah we were taught no sex before marriage.

No one in my year gave a ****.

I know of some on here that are into that, but really, it's largely ignored imo. Each to their own though, I respect anyone who stays a virgin until marriage. I respect anyone who doesn't. What a person does in regards to sex isn't my business.

Reply 7

Claire461

Original post by Airmed

I'd be worried if anyone ever mentioned the Maggies to me. :tongue:

OP, I'm what you call a nominal Catholic. My relationship with religion is love/hate. I went to a Catholic grammar, it was all very religious (lol, N.Ireland is great) and yeah we were taught no sex before marriage.

No one in my year gave a ****.

I know of some on here that are into that, but really, it's largely ignored imo. Each to their own though, I respect anyone who stays a virgin until marriage. I respect anyone who doesn't. What a person does in regards to sex isn't my business.

I was sent to the Magdalene Laundries in the late 60's. An experience never to be forgotten. X

Reply 8

Airmed

Original post by Seamus123

I was sent to the Magdalene Laundries in the late 60's. An experience never to be forgotten. X

I admire you then :hugs:

Reply 9

if you sign up to be a Catholic then you sign up for the whole package; you cannot pick and choose the bits which appeal to you.

therefore... no sexual activity whatsoever apart from that required to start babies in marriage.

harsh i know but that is the deal.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 10

Timothy01

OP

6

Original post by the bear

if you sign up to be a Catholic then you sign up for the whole package; you cannot pick and choose the bits which appeal to you.

therefore... no sexual activity whatsover apart from that required to start babies in marriage.

harsh i know but that is the deal.

As Donald Miller wrote, religion is not a checklist in which you have to go through in order for you to say that you're a catholic or not.

Reply 11

Yes. You will likely find that the university students within the society tend to be quite well informed (this is a thing with young Catholics. They're forced to actually choose to follow the Faith which means they embrace it the full) and follow the teachings of the Church to the full.

If you like, I can chat with you or point you in the direction of some good quality Catholic websites.

Reply 12

Original post by Timothy01

As Donald Miller wrote, religion is not a checklist in which you have to go through in order for you to say that you're a catholic or not.

That's literally what the Creed is....

Reply 13

Original post by the bear

if you sign up to be a Catholic then you sign up for the whole package; you cannot pick and choose the bits which appeal to you.

therefore... no sexual activity whatsover apart from that required to start babies in marriage.

harsh i know but that is the deal.

The bit in bold is true.

The bit in italics less so. It is perfectly permissible for a Catholic to practice NFP for proper reasons.

Reply 14

Original post by Timothy01

As Donald Miller wrote, religion is not a checklist in which you have to go through in order for you to say that you're a catholic or not.

whoever Mr Miller is ( never heard of him ) he is not in charge of doctrine in the Church :h:

Reply 15

Original post by adamrules247

The bit in bold is true.

The bit in italics less so. It is perfectly permissible for a Catholic to practice NFP for proper reasons.

ermm every act of coition must be open to conception. any deliberate avoidance of conception is ~~haram.~~ inconsistent with the teaching and practice of Holy Mother Church.

Reply 16

El Salvador

Original post by ironingplaylist

So using a condom & oral sex is allowed?

Indeed that doesn't count as sex but as this poster demonstrated:

Original post by Seamus123

Sacrilege! Sacrilege! you are instantly excommunicated. For your penance say 10 decades of the rosary, 12 Hail Marys and get out of my confessional. X

It's still a sin, just a different one. It's like you're asking if you could keep the fresh of the Son of God if it doesn't count as sex.

Just follow this very simple and effective rule:

Reply 17

Original post by the bear

ermm every act of coition must be open to conception. any deliberate avoidance of conception is ~~haram.~~ inconsistent with the teaching and practice of Holy Mother Church.

Yes. You're right now. It must indeed be open to conception. NFP does still leave it open to conception.

Reply 18

Original post by adamrules247

Yes. You're right now. It must indeed be open to conception. NFP does still leave it open to conception.

it is against the spirit of Holy Mother Church to deliberately reduce the chance of conception by selecting certain days to intromit and avoiding others.

Reply 19