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Original post by Adam.C123
I have been doing that for years and nothing improves, you know?

I don't go to clubs, societies etc because I don't really leave my house outside work (I am deeply depressed). About from politics, I have no real interests.

People say opportunities arise where you meet new people, but it rarely happens for me.

I tried Match.com and there was three girls between 18-22 who used it who lived within 30 miles of me, in other words They were all single mums who smoke, not exactly my cup of tea.

That is not true, from my experience.



sometimes forcing it doesnt help either, it could just lead to an unhealthy relationship you see
ahh okay i see, OkCupid is a good one? my friends have used it with great success! just stay away from tinder!
most cases its true, maybe youre mingling with the wrong people?
(edited 6 years ago)
Reply 41
Original post by CleverSquirrel
sometimes forcing it doesnt help either, it could just lead to an unhealthy relationship you see
ahh okay i see, OkCupid is a good one? my friends have used it with great success! just stay away from tinder!
most cases its true, maybe youre mingling with the wrong people?


I don't force anything, I am laid back.
OkCupid terrible too, there wasn't 1 person between 18-22 who was online in the last week in the whole of Northern Ireland the last several times I used it.
Tinder is **** too, agreed.
Original post by Adam.C123

I never get anywhere with girls, they laugh at my jokes


At least you can just not make jokes if you don't want girls laughing at you. I can't just not have a small penis.
Original post by Anonymous
I looked at your Instagram. Here are a few things I noticed to maybe help you with your social media image, and in effect, help you get girls in the future:

1) At least, to me, don't make your Instagram profile picture so sexually explicit. Maybe just do a nice headshot of yourself. I am getting the vibe that you just want a hook up, which is fine if that's what you want, but I don't think girls are going to hook up with someone with average looks and who is so incredibly straightforward in their profile picture about it.

2) Take less selfies. Take more pictures of what you are doing/with other people. So many selfies gives me the impression that you are self absorbed. Personally, I find that quality unattractive.

3) Put more thought into your captions and posts. Show that you put care into what you say.

Now, offline... here are some tips.

1) Compliment girls but not in a disrespectful way. Say things like, "You look really pretty in that dress" or " "Your hair looks really nice like that." etc.

2) Ask girls on actual dates - not to the movies because you can't really talk. Go on a fun adventure! The most important thing - be thoughtful.

3) Listen to them. Ask them questions. Show that you are interested in what they have to say!

Good luck! You've got this! :smile:


I don't really know about any other girls but i couldn't give a rats ass about a guy's (or anyone's) caption really?
Be flirty, maybe you're aiming for girls above your league, don't come across as desperate and stay confident
Reply 45
Original post by Adam.C123
Ok, then explain why do guys who are average get attractive girls?



Firstly there are more attractive girls out there than attractive guys


https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/styles/image-article_inline_full/public/blogs/38/2011/01/51559-41637.jpg?itok=PA74y-b0

https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/styles/image-article_inline_full/public/blogs/38/2011/01/51559-41638.jpg?itok=vWE4YA8X

put bluntly, there are not enough attractive men out there for every attractive or very attractive women to find a man who matches her looks. Some women will HAVE to date average men. There are simply not enough stock of good looking men around compared with good looking women. There are double the amount of very attractive women than very attractive men for example.

and most guys who are average do not routinely get good looking girls. If he's lucky he might get one ....but after that relationship is done his next gf usually is within about a point of him, but I wouldn't say most average guys are walking around with girls who are over 1 point better looking than themselves.

You are better off playing to your strengths tbh if you want an attractive woman. Stop going for white english caucasian women [which generally place a very high importance on looks] and start going for east asian women ....as east asian women like white men even more than their own men. As a white man you will find is noticeably easier to get an attractive east asian gf than an attractive english white woman.

Generally speaking white english women place the most importance on looks/physical appearance in a partner. Eastern European white women place a bit less on looks. Since you are average you will do generally do better with EE woman than white english women so you might want to consider EE women too.

did you actually go to Cambridge like your insta says?
That sort of thing would impress an east asian woman or EE woman more than a white english woman.

Also ...start going for younger women. How old are you, like 23ish?
start going for 18 year olds. You will have an easier time attracting an attractive 18 year old than an attractive 23 year old.

Honestly, in nightclubs and places.. I find the attractive girls that will show interest typically tend to be a lot younger than me. I'm talking around the 10 year mark in terms of age gap. Apparently I look very young for my age so this might have something to do with it, but it's definitely easier to attract a younger girl than a girl of the same age. I've seen this too for friends also, who do look their age, they tend to do better with younger girls.....

Original post by ChickenMadness
lol can 100% confirm. Spent a month getting no matches on tinder. Swapped some picks around a couple days ago and I'm getting ****loads of matches now. Went from 5 matches in the past month to 40 in the past 2-3 days rofl. I thought they were all bots at first. After swapping the pics and resetting the app.



pictures matter dramatically.

I used to get around a 1 in 100 reply rate on pof, from the last experiment I did with new pictures i'm on around 1 in 7.....

It's the thumbnail as well. If the picture looks meh as a thumbnail girls aren't even going to click on it and thus won't even view your profile or see the full pic. I had a pic up where the thumbnail looked kinda meh but the full pic wasn't bad ....and I was ignored by all but 1 girl I sent an unsolicited message to, but via the meetme feature there were girls clicking they wanted to meet me. why? because the girls who saw me on the meetme feature were seeing the full pic.

even had very good looking girl not only click she wanted to meet me but directly message me too. She seemed very enthusiastic ...and tbh I got a bit carried away and exchanged a fair few messages with her [I wasn't meant to do that as this was an experiment] eventually though I admitted I lived nowhere near her.................
(edited 6 years ago)
Reply 46
Original post by CleverSquirrel
youve got insta?!!?!!!





no lol, I just googled the OP's insta after he said he had it and had a look at it...
Original post by Anonymous
I've had multiple girlfriends and I've had a few one night stands. Oh and I'm fat and balding 4/10 at 21 but i love myself and I don't put girls on a pedestal... I.E I don't do things to hook up with women i just live my life the way I want to live it! Don't make excuses confidence is the sexiest thing in the world. Also don't listen to womens advice on how to pick them up... they don't know what they want. Hope you find some enlightment and not make any more excuses! Also check out how max use to look when he started off, he looked like a 4/10 lmao.


Huh they must have deleted the part where I said check out RSD tyler
Original post by ANM775



pictures matter dramatically.

I used to get around a 1 in 100 reply rate on pof, from the last experiment I did with new pictures i'm on around 1 in 7.....

It's the thumbnail as well. If the picture looks meh as a thumbnail girls aren't even going to click on it and thus won't even view your profile or see the full pic. I had a pic up where the thumbnail looked kinda meh but the full pic wasn't bad ....and I was ignored by all but 1 girl I sent an unsolicited message to, but via the meetme feature there were girls clicking they wanted to meet me. why? because the girls who saw me on the meetme feature were seeing the full pic.

even had very good looking girl not only click she wanted to meet me but directly message me too. She seemed very enthusiastic ...and tbh I got a bit carried away and exchanged a fair few messages with her [I wasn't meant to do that as this was an experiment] eventually though I admitted I lived nowhere near her.................


Learnt all about advertising and moods / themes / colours / design / cinematography at university etc. I've been working with one of my friends who runs a business by helping him sort out all his social media advertising. Got him some really good results. Got pissed off with tinder so went all professional on it editting the photos brightness/contrast etc. to make them bright and give out happy vibes. And ye agree with the thumbnail thing. That waterfall pic I'm using now looks really eye catching as the thumbnail. Probably before when I had a selfie as the thumbnail everyone swiped left without looking at the rest of the profile because it looks boring. Cus usually I don't care about taking photos of myself so they're all sh*t lol.

Literally made an instagram page last night just for tinder (I hate instagram) and stuffed all my animal/nature photography onto it and linked it to my tinder profile :laugh: Gonna see how well that does.
(edited 6 years ago)
Contact me I have a similar problem and maybe we can share advice, thanks man :smile:
Reply 50
Original post by ANM775
Firstly there are more attractive girls out there than attractive guys


https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/styles/image-article_inline_full/public/blogs/38/2011/01/51559-41637.jpg?itok=PA74y-b0

https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/styles/image-article_inline_full/public/blogs/38/2011/01/51559-41638.jpg?itok=vWE4YA8X

put bluntly, there are not enough attractive men out there for every attractive or very attractive women to find a man who matches her looks. Some women will HAVE to date average men. There are simply not enough stock of good looking men around compared with good looking women. There are double the amount of very attractive women than very attractive men for example.

and most guys who are average do not routinely get good looking girls. If he's lucky he might get one ....but after that relationship is done his next gf usually is within about a point of him, but I wouldn't say most average guys are walking around with girls who are over 1 point better looking than themselves.

You are better off playing to your strengths tbh if you want an attractive woman. Stop going for white english caucasian women [which generally place a very high importance on looks] and start going for east asian women ....as east asian women like white men even more than their own men. As a white man you will find is noticeably easier to get an attractive east asian gf than an attractive english white woman.
Where I live pretty much everyone is white British/Irish.

Generally speaking white english women place the most importance on looks/physical appearance in a partner. Eastern European white women place a bit less on looks. Since you are average you will do generally do better with EE woman than white english women so you might want to consider EE women too.

As I said there is not that many, Lithuanians, Polish women etc are very attractive though.

did you actually go to Cambridge like your insta says?
That sort of thing would impress an east asian woman or EE woman more than a white english woman.
No it was ironic

Also ...start going for younger women. How old are you, like 23ish?
start going for 18 year olds. You will have an easier time attracting an attractive 18 year old than an attractive 23 year old.

I am 20 and I try to go younger but even so.

Honestly, in nightclubs and places.. I find the attractive girls that will show interest typically tend to be a lot younger than me. I'm talking around the 10 year mark in terms of age gap. Apparently I look very young for my age so this might have something to do with it, but it's definitely easier to attract a younger girl than a girl of the same age. I've seen this too for friends also, who do look their age, they tend to do better with younger girls.....




pictures matter dramatically.

I used to get around a 1 in 100 reply rate on pof, from the last experiment I did with new pictures i'm on around 1 in 7.....

It's the thumbnail as well. If the picture looks meh as a thumbnail girls aren't even going to click on it and thus won't even view your profile or see the full pic. I had a pic up where the thumbnail looked kinda meh but the full pic wasn't bad ....and I was ignored by all but 1 girl I sent an unsolicited message to, but via the meetme feature there were girls clicking they wanted to meet me. why? because the girls who saw me on the meetme feature were seeing the full pic.
I got about 1 in every 5 on POF, but I hate online dating it is a waste of time and very fake.


even had very good looking girl not only click she wanted to meet me but directly message me too. She seemed very enthusiastic ...and tbh I got a bit carried away and exchanged a fair few messages with her [I wasn't meant to do that as this was an experiment] eventually though I admitted I lived nowhere near her.................


I see, I speak to some attractive women who say I am cute etc, but once I make a move, it comes pear shape.

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