The Student Room Group

Boyfriend hasn't contacted me in 6 days.

Scroll to see replies

Why not speak to one of his friends? I wouldn’t jump to conclusions straight away.
Original post by Anonymous
I last saw him on Monday evening. He usually calls daily. I haven't had a single call or text from him for nearly a week. I've called him twice a day each day since, I've left texts asking if he's alright, I've even left Facebook messages asking if his phone is broken etc. I've seen he's been active on Instagram and Facebook daily though?

I'd be tempted to say he's finished with me but it seems unusual. We never have arguments, we've only been dating a month and we're still in the 'honeymoon' period. He even talks about the future frequently e.g. we were planning on seeing a movie he loves in 2 weeks time, we talked about plans for my birthday in a few months. He said he could get me addicted to a game by the end of 2018 etc.

He's even brought up marriage and said he sees me as a serious girlfriend and wants to get to know me for a year before discussing marriage (he brought it up).

I don't know what to do, or what to think.


For someone who got ignored for two months straight by their ex, this isn’t as bad but not great; I would finish it with him. Not all guys are liars but for someone to mention marriage to you then ignore you for almost a week, yeah that’s a bit harsh and he isn’t worth your time. It’s probably not what you want to hear but if I knew then if my ex was deliberately ignoring me I would’ve ended it sooner.
Original post by Judge Jules
A lot of men do this and then complain that women play games or are fickle.
His a loser but you do need some sort of closure before you can move on.
Do you have his phone number where you can ring him and leave a message by text and on his answer machine ?
You only mentioned you saw his activity on social media but as long as you leave a text on his phone too and he doesn't respond then you'll know it's over.
Ask a friend or family member if you can use their phone to ring him. This will trap him into answering his phone then if he answers you can confront him that way.

Men have done this to me too but it's been a shorter time than one month. I'd prefer If they had the balls to just tell me their not interested anymore even if it was by text but leaving people hanging with no explanation or contact is so cruel.


I completely agree. I did leave a text message giving him an ultimatum yesterday saying 'if you don't call me, I will consider this as your way of saying that you don't want to be with me anymore.' He's been active on social media since, he was active around the same time I sent that ultimatum text actually but I've received no response whatsoever.

He's gone awol for a week before too (when we were just in the talking stage), but I added him on Facebook, he spoke to me immediately and told me his phone isn't working properly and apologized for not keeping in touch. This time he hasn't even messaged me on Facebook.
Original post by Kirarater
Why not speak to one of his friends? I wouldn’t jump to conclusions straight away.


I hadn't really been dating him for long enough (just over a month) to be introduced to his friends, so I can't really get in touch with them.
Original post by Volibear
You're being ghosted.


I thought as much. I wouldn't expect this behaviour from a 24 year old man who is very confident in general. You'd think he'd have the courage to speak to me face to face at least, or to at least call or leave a text. But to leave without any explanation is cowardly.
Original post by Anonymous
For someone who got ignored for two months straight by their ex, this isn’t as bad but not great; I would finish it with him. Not all guys are liars but for someone to mention marriage to you then ignore you for almost a week, yeah that’s a bit harsh and he isn’t worth your time. It’s probably not what you want to hear but if I knew then if my ex was deliberately ignoring me I would’ve ended it sooner.


The marriage discussion was literally only last week too so it's very recent and it was all initiated by him. In our phone calls, he's even mentioned things like kids, at which point even I thought he was bringing marriage/kids into it too soon. Now I'm thinking whether I really knew him at all, and if he just said all that hoping to get me into bed, and when I kept resisting, he gave up. In which case, I'm better off without him I suppose.
Original post by Anonymous
I did text him for the last time yesterday giving him an ultimatum saying 'if you don't call me, I'll consider this as meaning you don't want to be with me anymore.' and left it at that. From now on, there will be no more calls, texts etc. I can move on and get over this eventually, this actually is his loss. My fear is that if he does get in touch, my feelings are going to come flooding back and I'll go back to him.


Yeah that's exactly what I meant. If he does come running back (I predict he will eventually) you must NOT go back. This guy has no feelings.
Original post by Judge Jules
A lot of men do this and then complain that women play games or are fickle.
His a loser but you do need some sort of closure before you can move on.
Do you have his phone number where you can ring him and leave a message by text and on his answer machine ?
You only mentioned you saw his activity on social media but as long as you leave a text on his phone too and he doesn't respond then you'll know it's over.
Ask a friend or family member if you can use their phone to ring him. This will trap him into answering his phone then if he answers you can confront him that way.

Men have done this to me too but it's been a shorter time than one month. I'd prefer If they had the balls to just tell me their not interested anymore even if it was by text but leaving people hanging with no explanation or contact is so cruel.


are you retarded? you women are far worse
throw the whole boyfriend away
Original post by myhall manner
are you retarded? you women are far worse


Lol
You're far worse and probably do this type of thing yourself that's why you got so angry and so insulted
Original post by Anonymous
He doesn't seem to go out much. He's at work 6 days of the week from 9am to 7pm and he goes to the gym afterwards sometimes. Different gyms too as I've asked him in the past. He's called me from his work phone before, so I could always give them a ring tomorrow and ask for him. But would that not be a bit over the top? He's making it clear that he doesn't want my attention, so I don't see why I should go to any effort for him now.



I should really tell you to forget about him like everybody else so I shouldn't really be telling you this but you should ring his workplace just to find out if he's been coming to work then put phone down or even go further and speak to him if they say he's there and he does answer the phone.
If work colleagues ask who it is you can pretend your his sister. If you say your name he could instruct them to say he's not there.
Or you can explain to his work colleagues what he's done just to piss him off, he will be so embarrassed that his work colleagues know his business then maybe he'll think twice about doing that again to someone else.

I think it's best to get hold of him anyway you can and he'll be forced to give an explanation. You deserve an explanation at least. I think it is hard to tell someone you don't want to see them anymore and hard to even know where to start or what to write without hurting someone's feelings so he thinks not contacting you at all is easier and he hopes you'll get the message and won't make a fuss but no contact at all and no explanation Is far worse and way more cruel and extremely cowardly so you should embarrass him by ringing his work number as he owes you an explanation.
Original post by myhall manner
are you retarded? you women are far worse


I just got a very strange message on my inbox that said @ myhall manner don't talk to judge Jules. When I clicked on the message it wouldn't allow me to go to the thread because maybe I've been blocked from the thread ? People making threads using someone's name and telling everybody not to talk to that person is so childish and below the belt. Don't you know how to have a simple argument instead of trying to spread hate.
I have no idea why you think I care though.
When I'm writing to somebody else then other people get angry about my simple opinion is just laughable.
When I go on Live streaming apps and I see other people being treated like that and everyone gets told not to speak to that person I never do what other people tell me.
Because I'm not 5 years old and I have my own mind. But if I see anyone being ostracised I will always be the first to talk to them or if I don't talk I'll still support them by watching their stream. Just because I don't agree with someone else's opinion I don't hold grudges on them and stop talking to them because that is extremely childish.
Original post by Judge Jules
Lol
You're far worse and probably do this type of thing yourself that's why you got so angry and so insulted


you are full of bs women are as bad as men so shut up
Original post by sex mad guy
you are full of bs women are as bad as men so shut up


Lol, Women NEVER LIE, We are all sweet and innocent
Original post by Judge Jules
Lol, Women NEVER LIE, We are all sweet and innocent


biggest lot of bs out of your mouth idiot
Original post by sex mad guy
you are full of bs women are as bad as men so shut up


I have no doubt that the mods will tell me off when I did not start the insults but you and that other one will get off Scott free. Grow Up
Original post by Anonymous
The marriage discussion was literally only last week too so it's very recent and it was all initiated by him. In our phone calls, he's even mentioned things like kids, at which point even I thought he was bringing marriage/kids into it too soon. Now I'm thinking whether I really knew him at all, and if he just said all that hoping to get me into bed, and when I kept resisting, he gave up. In which case, I'm better off without him I suppose.


By the sounds of things he was, and you’re better off without him. End it as soon as possible. If you was to have had a kid with him anyway he probably would’ve wondered off once he found out you was pregnant and him have nothing to do with it. And there’s a word for men who do that.

Please don’t think that none of this is your fault either because it isn’t. You shouldn’t be pressured into something you don’t want and he’s a loser for not respecting your wishes. I hope you find someone who appreciates you one day cause by the sounds of things he definitely is an idiot who doesn’t deserve you.
Happened to a friend at uni: boyfriend got lucky and spent the week in bed with another girl. Not boyfriend material.
Original post by Anonymous
By the sounds of things he was, and you’re better off without him. End it as soon as possible. If you was to have had a kid with him anyway he probably would’ve wondered off once he found out you was pregnant and him have nothing to do with it. And there’s a word for men who do that.

Please don’t think that none of this is your fault either because it isn’t. You shouldn’t be pressured into something you don’t want and he’s a loser for not respecting your wishes. I hope you find someone who appreciates you one day cause by the sounds of things he definitely is an idiot who doesn’t deserve you.


thank you so much for the kind words, it really means a lot :smile: I've spent the past few days mostly crying, thinking about him constantly, analyzing every date we've been on, and resisting the urge to call him more than I've already done. I just want to get over it to be honest. I wish I'd never met him, but in a way maybe this is a good thing because it taught me not to be so innocent and naive in future when it comes to relationships, not everybody goes into things with pure intentions.
A boyfriend did this to me. The whole episode is hilarious now but at the time I was heartbroken.

He had just come out of a serious relationship so I was rebound material really. We worked in the same place and I was close (and still am) with his brother. We did the whole "super serious" stuff, discussed moving in and kids. It's hilarious. :u: Anyway, he got cold feet about two months in, ghosted me for a month so I did the whole passive aggressive angst but I still love you! thing. Properly got hung up on it for ages, then he got a new girlfriend and I don't know...I just got over it after that.

It totally sucks at the time but you'll move on. It's disappointing but chalk it up as a learning curve and get someone better.

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending