Got cheated on once, I left the relationship, should I have given my ex a chance?

So I have the mindset that if you cheat once, that is it. I can't give you another chance because you could do it again. My friends have been telling me that in order to form a long lasting relationship, I need to learn to forgive and give another opportunity. But I had an experience where I was cheated on, and I gave my ex (different ex) and opportunity. He cheated on my again, so now I just end things since I don't want to put myself through that kind of pain of forgiving and being cheated on again. Should I be more forgiving?

So I have the mindset that if you cheat once, that is it. I can't give you another chance because you could do it again. My friends have been telling me that in order to form a long lasting relationship, I need to learn to forgive and give another opportunity. But I had an experience where I was cheated on, and I gave my ex (different ex) and opportunity. He cheated on my again, so now I just end things since I don't want to put myself through that kind of pain of forgiving and being cheated on again. Should I be more forgiving?

Whether you are willing to offer a second chance is up to you.
Go with your gut.
It is fine if you think that the guy usually makes you happy and believe that relationship still has potential.
It is equally ok if you think that he is a liar, has a habit of having sex with other women and you are not able to trust him any more.

But remember you were not married and he is not an adulterous spouse who has lied his way through the wedding vows then been caught conducting an extramarital affair with another woman.
I have never understood why people consider an unofficial casual relationship to be on par with marriage.
As is they are automatically monogamous with allegations of "cheating" (unwed adultery) when there is no social commitment to exclusivity and no public promise of sexual exclusivity.
Marriage and civil partnerships have this.
Ons, fwb and girlfriend-boyfriend relationships don't.

When you're in a formal relationship, which can lead to a marriage, both people have to show each other that they respect and love one another. From what I'm getting from your response is that it is no big deal if you cheat on your partner if you are not married. I don't believe that is how long lasting relationships are formed, if that is the case, which is it is for many, marriage would be meaningless. So only until one has said their vows, should a person now be faithful? I don't agree with that. If my partner cheats, that shows me that he is not in it seriously and he has no respect for me. If one is not ready for a formal serious relationship, it's best to just stay single and have fun until they find the right person. No need to cheat on the person and make them feel like utter crap.

So I have the mindset that if you cheat once, that is it. I can't give you another chance because you could do it again. My friends have been telling me that in order to form a long lasting relationship, I need to learn to forgive and give another opportunity. But I had an experience where I was cheated on, and I gave my ex (different ex) and opportunity. He cheated on my again, so now I just end things since I don't want to put myself through that kind of pain of forgiving and being cheated on again. Should I be more forgiving?

I don't expect a guy to commit to sexual exclusivity until he puts a ring on my finger and a marriage certificate in my hand.
You seem to have all the social expectations of a marriage- commitment, faithfulness and exclusivity.
Do you always communicate this to the guys you date to ensure that they understand your expectations and share your attitude?

I don't agree with the widespread attitude that it is "cheating" for a guy with a fwb or casual girlfriend to have sex with multiple women.
The formal relationships are marriage and civil partnerships, where exclusivity is mandatory and it takes a formal process to end the official status (e.g. divorce). Sexual exclusivity and legal exclusivity go hand in hand, so there can be no doubt of the requirements.
Lies and any possible financial cheating are different 'breach of trust' issues.

I walked out on the ex five years ago because he had a secret hobby involving sex workers, violent porn reenactments and std's.
He didn't tell me, I found out from a pair of sex workers
They were worried about my health because they and the ex all had stds.
The ex's outraged"its none of your business" attitude at being found out was almost as vile as the revolting hardcore porn he enjoyed.

But he wasn't "cheating" on me because I wasn't his wife with an official exclusive relationship status and public promise of sexual exclusivity.
He was putting my life at risk, indulging in group sexual antics that disgusted me and spending a fortune on imported extreme porn.
He hadn't lied and had chosen to risk his own life too.
Sexual incompatibility, his inconsiderate behaviour and desire for very sordid sexual thrills doomed the relationship.
I have been single for five years and am happy.
I avoid hardcore "porn guys", that one of my dating deal-breakers.
But I don't expect a date or boyfriend to act like a husband and start "forsaking all other from this day forward".
That takes a proposal, a wedding and a public promise.

So I have the mindset that if you cheat once, that is it. I can't give you another chance because you could do it again. My friends have been telling me that in order to form a long lasting relationship, I need to learn to forgive and give another opportunity. But I had an experience where I was cheated on, and I gave my ex (different ex) and opportunity. He cheated on my again, so now I just end things since I don't want to put myself through that kind of pain of forgiving and being cheated on again. Should I be more forgiving?

So I have the mindset that if you cheat once, that is it. I can't give you another chance because you could do it again. My friends have been telling me that in order to form a long lasting relationship, I need to learn to forgive and give another opportunity. But I had an experience where I was cheated on, and I gave my ex (different ex) and opportunity. He cheated on my again, so now I just end things since I don't want to put myself through that kind of pain of forgiving and being cheated on again. Should I be more forgiving?

So I have the mindset that if you cheat once, that is it. I can't give you another chance because you could do it again. My friends have been telling me that in order to form a long lasting relationship, I need to learn to forgive and give another opportunity. But I had an experience where I was cheated on, and I gave my ex (different ex) and opportunity. He cheated on my again, so now I just end things since I don't want to put myself through that kind of pain of forgiving and being cheated on again. Should I be more forgiving?