[Islam] Does anyone else absolutely hate doing wudhu and istinja

I’m 16 years old and for the past few months my imaan has been at a very low point. I’ve had all sorts of thoughts and I’m losing all motivation to pray Salah and pray. Before anyone tries “educating” me, I’m a hafiz and am from an extremely religious family, go to 5 prayers a day (although sometimes I don’t have wudhu), pray Quran nearly every day. That being said , I absolutely hate doing wudhu and istinja to the point where I fake to pray my namaz without wudhu and even touch the Quran without wudhu. At first I felt guilty but now that’s slowly diminishing too. I don’t know what to do. No one in my family knows about this, in fact no one at all does. I’m also addicted to masturbation. Seeing all these Islamic threads on tsr and reading the replies from non Muslims had but real doubt in my mind about religion. I need help

You need wudhu to pray, praying intentionally without wudhu is more worse than choosing not to pray...
It's an act of purifying yourself, which is why you cannot touch the Qur'an without doing it
Why exactly do you hate doing wudhu though?

You've identified your problem. Now you just have to act on it. Think about the long term rewards your prayer will have. I think everyone goes through a period of doubt, but once you overcome that period your imaan becomes so much stronger. You know that having a strong imaan will give you rewards so when you think about praying without wudhu, think about how the wasted rewards. For the last point logging out of tsr may help.

I know all this, I don’t like doing it because it’s so tedious.

Yeh I appreciate your advice however part of the problem is that my imaan has gone so weak it’s got to the point where I’m doubting if Islam is even the truth ( I know how terrible this makes me) . I also wouldn’t call it a period of doubt, it’s so much more Serious

TSR won't help as there are trolls here which will make you turn away.

I think you need to talk to your parents- they can guide you then. If you're a boy, you have it easier than Muslim women, (example) who have to remove their makeup and take off their hijab to perform wudhu. If it's an issue on faith, I agree with @Prussianxo (PRSOM), TSR won't help as there are trolls here which will make you turn away.
Whatever it is, you need to talk to someone, whether it's you *pious* friends, family or local mosque. How many times are you doing wushu a day that it's so tedious, that itself shouldn't make you turn away. I hope you understand the parts of the Qur'an which you have memorised

I think it's really up to the OP to decide what they want to do...

You really need a dictionary, and a sufficient intelligence to indoctrination ratio.

Do I now? I have it dw

DW?

You’re growing up and your brain is starting to question Islam. You’re a product of child indoctrination and so it’s hard for you to realise that what youve been is feeding your brain is straight BS.There’s nothing wrong with masturbation, but in Islam it’s haram. Because it’s associated with shame, you’ve become addicted to it. I come from a religious family too and I was about your age when I started questioning Islam and I started reading books that you’re not allowed to read because it will make you question god (something that’s punishable by death). If you’re curious I suggest you research, read books like the god delusion, heretic watch videos, don’t just follow your religion blindly without questioning it.

Jzk for all the replies ... I think it’s time I stopped feeling sorry for myself and started

No offence bro but this is completely the opposite of what I wanted to hear

don’t worry

I think she meant
@RogerOxon

That's one big issue with indoctrination - its victims cannot imagine that what they have so firmly ingrained, is complete and utter nonsense. It'll only get worse as you get older, and exposed to more evidence that directly contradicts what you have been told that you "know". Good luck.