One women finds out from a pretty boy the truth about internet dating

Gavin2016

Here is an article where the girl asked the guy for feedback after a couple of dates after which he ghosted her:

https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/16135288/i-asked-for-feedback-from-a-man-who-ghosted-me/

They apparently met on Tinder and it turns out he had too many options, lol. Wouldn't we all like to be in that boat! For him though he kind of gives the impression it's not as great as it may sound as seems he's pretty inundated with girls clicking on/messaging him. So I think we can safely assume he is a pretty boy with a kiddy in a candy shop mentality lol.

To be honest though it does kind of seem he is stuck in the situation, that it causes him problems as like he says he has 'so many options'. So if you think about it he goes out with a girl he likes the look of enough on there then afterwards get pinged by a load off other women, a fair few of which he also likes the look of. So can't help but be tempted and goes on to date them also to see what they are like. So pretty much always there is another attractive girl being dangled in front of him so he's always thinking why not? and goes for the temptation if trying out another girl.

Hence kind of backs up my previous thread that the internet has messed up dating in general. The pretty guys & girls get even more options than irl and those that aren't get even fewer. So it doesn't work for many people at all it seems. A few it may work for of course but for most it doesn't.

Guess we just have to wait and hope for some advancement/development that might help out this situation.

Reply 1

mxt77

10

if you need to use dating apps dont accept magic... plus to hell with relationship most are self indulged narcassists today

Reply 2

Gavin2016

OP

15

My impression is that the guy in the article doesn't ask to be out in the position of having loads of women after him on the dating apps it's just what he gets. If anything perhaps he would rather it not be quite so brisk with women wanting to date him but he probably doesn't get a choice, it's either use the app or don't. He could possibly take profile off after he has one girl lined up but more probably contact him in that time and the temptation likely always dominates.

Reply 3

Kovalensky

14

Don't really see what's so different about dating irl. The best looking people also have the most options irl. Etc.

I don't get why people who post these threads pretend to have discovered some great, hidden, Truth.

Reply 4

rockrunride

19

Original post by CountBread

Don't really see what's so different about dating irl. The best looking people also have the most options irl. Etc.

I don't get why people who post these threads pretend to have discovered some great, hidden, Truth.

I think the point is that dating apps have accentuated and magnified the effect to even higher levels. We're no longer really restricted by location, for example.

Reply 5

asif007

19

This article is a perfect example of pre-selection. The majority of women on Tinder and IRL go for a very small minority of guys that lots of other women are interested in too, which makes those guys hard to tie down. I think I should stress that the majority of guys on Tinder do not have the same experience as this guy does. Tinder is weighted heavily in favour of women over men, which means attractive women will always have unlimited options whereas not all guys have the same. I think there was a study that said men on Tinder swipe right something like 60% of the time whereas women only swipe right 14-15% of the time. Can't remember the exact numbers but they were something along those lines. Anybody, male or female, who has lots of options on Tinder, is going to exercise all their options and become more picky over who they respond to, who they choose to date and spend time with. This also leads to a phobia of settling. Women with lots of dating options will refuse to settle, and it looks like this guy with lots of options has the same problem. That's why nobody should go on Tinder looking for serious long-term relationships - because the majority of people are only on there to exercise their options.

I like that this woman handled the situation gracefully and asked for feedback to see what she could do better next time. It's great that the guy was honest and actually responded to the question. Most men don't get any kind of clarification from women when dates don't go well - just instant ignore and block. Lots of women would take 2 failed dates a lot further and complain that "all men are bad" based on their experiences with pre-selected men on Tinder. No, in fact it's only the men she has chosen who don't want her while all other men are invisible to her. Women have a much longer list of metrics for measuring their level of attraction to a man, whereas men's lists are much shorter. I think this woman probably realises that being aged 30, she is competing with lots of younger and more attractive women for the attention of this one guy. Glad to see she handled it like a pro.

Reply 6

Dunnig Kruger

16

Original post by Gavin2016

Here is an article where the girl asked the guy for feedback after a couple of dates after which he ghosted her:

https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/16135288/i-asked-for-feedback-from-a-man-who-ghosted-me/

It's in the Sun. So every word must be 100% true? Given the Sun's immaculate track record in this area. :biggrin:

And how do we know whether the man in question whose text was quoted was being 100% honest?
His texts come over as exaggerated bragging.
And even if he is getting a lot of sex from Tinder hook-ups, so what?

There are men that do well on online dating apps. Good for them. They tend to be the ones that know how to market and "sell" themselves on these platforms. As well as them knowing how to come over well when they meet women for dates.

For the woman in question on that Sun article, I'd swipe left. She's not my type.

It would be a reasonable guess to say that he wasn't that spoilt for choice if he went on 2 dates with her.
A man that had a genuine abundance of women wouldn't look twice at her.

I'd also argue that the most successful men on dating apps meet relatively few women. From whom one - either from the app or real life - becomes a long term or life-long companion. Quality over quantity.

Reply 7

Gavin2016

OP

15

Original post by Dunnig Kruger

It's in the Sun. So every word must be 100% true? Given the Sun's immaculate track record in this area. :biggrin:

And how do we know whether the man in question whose text was quoted was being 100% honest?
His texts come over as exaggerated bragging.
And even if he is getting a lot of sex from Tinder hook-ups, so what?

There are men that do well on online dating apps. Good for them. They tend to be the ones that know how to market and "sell" themselves on these platforms. As well as them knowing how to come over well when they meet women for dates.

For the woman in question on that Sun article, I'd swipe left. She's not my type.

It would be a reasonable guess to say that he wasn't that spoilt for choice if he went on 2 dates with her.
A man that had a genuine abundance of women wouldn't look twice at her.

I'd also argue that the most successful men on dating apps meet relatively few women. From whom one - either from the app or real life - becomes a long term or life-long companion. Quality over quantity.

I don't think just because it's in the sun that automatically everything is a lie. Sure it's not an academic study but if all they printed was lies I don't think anyone would be interested. I'm not an avid reader of the Sun it just happened to come up in my Google news feed. I think the sun are more interested in social news stories as these and don't have to go making this stuff up, it's present enough in our society that it likely just rolls up at their door. Even on TSR we have similar threads, 'why I can't get a bf or gf off tinder', 'why is this tinder date now gone cold on me', etc, etc or whatever online dating site.

Reply 8

Dunnig Kruger

16

Original post by Gavin2016

I don't think just because it's in the sun that automatically everything is a lie. Sure it's not an academic study but if all they printed was lies I don't think anyone would be interested. I'm not an avid reader of the Sun it just happened to come up in my Google news feed. I think the sun are more interested in social news stories as these and don't have to go making this stuff up, it's present enough in our society that it likely just rolls up at their door. Even on TSR we have similar threads, 'why I can't get a bf or gf off tinder', 'why is this tinder date now gone cold on me', etc, etc or whatever online dating site.

In the story in the Sun, we had an average looking woman who went on 2 dates with some guy she met on Tinder.

When she asked him for feedback because they didn't go on a third date, he said that dating on apps gives people too many options and variety. He also claimed that Tinder was a "shagfest".

It's not worth taking what he said seriously.
You've said that we "we can safely assume he is a pretty boy ". I wouldn't assume anything of the sort. He may be as average looking as she is.

We don't really know anything about him. All we can say is that it appears that there's some guy that went on 2 dates with an average looking woman, then stopped seeing her.

It's better to keep an open mind than to have a prejudged position for which one looks for supporting evidence whilst discarding anything that might contradict one's position.