Do you agree with this statement?
If someone is ugly,they shouldn't bother wearing makeup or dressing nicely as nobody of the opposite sex would like them anyway.
Yes I am talking about myself here,and was curious to see if anyone else who felt themselves to be ugly ever thought this before i.e what's the point in taking care of my appearance..?'
I've suddenly just stopped caring.I have never liked my appearance,actively avoided mirrors and photos etc..but I still wore makeup and liked to dress in clothes I liked but I felt I was deluding myself..I'm 18,I've never had a boyfriend,no guy has ever liked me to my knowledge and I've never kissed a guy. I've went for coffee and to get ice cream several times with this guy I met but I was so nervous that when he asked if I'd like to meet his parents I'm sure I acted like an idiot..and things ended in arguments..evidently I wasn't pretty and I was boring...I never let myself like a guy now because I know he would be disgusted to know I did.I'm very shy and just not...pretty like all the other girls on campus.I can't compete. My shyness and paranoia is killing my personality..even with close friends I'm ruining the relationships because my confidence is so low.I see their prettiness and hate myself further.
Can anyone relate to me at all?
Yes I am talking about myself here,and was curious to see if anyone else who felt themselves to be ugly ever thought this before i.e what's the point in taking care of my appearance..?'
I've suddenly just stopped caring.I have never liked my appearance,actively avoided mirrors and photos etc..but I still wore makeup and liked to dress in clothes I liked but I felt I was deluding myself..I'm 18,I've never had a boyfriend,no guy has ever liked me to my knowledge and I've never kissed a guy. I've went for coffee and to get ice cream several times with this guy I met but I was so nervous that when he asked if I'd like to meet his parents I'm sure I acted like an idiot..and things ended in arguments..evidently I wasn't pretty and I was boring...I never let myself like a guy now because I know he would be disgusted to know I did.I'm very shy and just not...pretty like all the other girls on campus.I can't compete. My shyness and paranoia is killing my personality..even with close friends I'm ruining the relationships because my confidence is so low.I see their prettiness and hate myself further.
Can anyone relate to me at all?
Scroll to see replies
*I still wore makeup and dressed nicely until I just woke up one day and realised I was deluding myself.
Just because youre ugly doesnt mean you cant carry yourself well.
I just pull my hair into a bun (cant do anything else)dont wear makeup and just wear baggy jumpers and skinny jeans every day.The jumpers hang off me and I look so..unwomanly too. So I dont even have the other thing guys want..a nice body.
Why stop looking after yourself? I'm sure you enjoy wearing make up and dressing well even if you still think you're ugly.
I stopped taking care of my appearance as being ugly negates the point of wearing makeup or dressing nicely.I just ruin anything I would wear and makeup isn't meant to be slathered all over an ugly face. It's for pretty people to enhance how pretty they are. Same as nice clothes.
Original post by Anonymous
If someone is ugly,they shouldn't bother wearing makeup or dressing nicely as nobody of the opposite sex would like them anyway.
Yes I am talking about myself here,and was curious to see if anyone else who felt themselves to be ugly ever thought this before i.e what's the point in taking care of my appearance..?'
I've suddenly just stopped caring.I have never liked my appearance,actively avoided mirrors and photos etc..but I still wore makeup and liked to dress in clothes I liked but I felt I was deluding myself..I'm 18,I've never had a boyfriend,no guy has ever liked me to my knowledge and I've never kissed a guy. I've went for coffee and to get ice cream several times with this guy I met but I was so nervous that when he asked if I'd like to meet his parents I'm sure I acted like an idiot..and things ended in arguments..evidently I wasn't pretty and I was boring...I never let myself like a guy now because I know he would be disgusted to know I did.I'm very shy and just not...pretty like all the other girls on campus.I can't compete. My shyness and paranoia is killing my personality..even with close friends I'm ruining the relationships because my confidence is so low.I see their prettiness and hate myself further.
Can anyone relate to me at all?
Yes I am talking about myself here,and was curious to see if anyone else who felt themselves to be ugly ever thought this before i.e what's the point in taking care of my appearance..?'
I've suddenly just stopped caring.I have never liked my appearance,actively avoided mirrors and photos etc..but I still wore makeup and liked to dress in clothes I liked but I felt I was deluding myself..I'm 18,I've never had a boyfriend,no guy has ever liked me to my knowledge and I've never kissed a guy. I've went for coffee and to get ice cream several times with this guy I met but I was so nervous that when he asked if I'd like to meet his parents I'm sure I acted like an idiot..and things ended in arguments..evidently I wasn't pretty and I was boring...I never let myself like a guy now because I know he would be disgusted to know I did.I'm very shy and just not...pretty like all the other girls on campus.I can't compete. My shyness and paranoia is killing my personality..even with close friends I'm ruining the relationships because my confidence is so low.I see their prettiness and hate myself further.
Can anyone relate to me at all?
Personally, I prefer to see woman with less make-up, but if you don't take care of your appearance this will only increase your lack of self-confidence?
I bet you are more attractive than you think you are - For sure, someone out there will be attracted to you and I think you need to find ways of improving your self-confidence.
I staunchly disagree with the statement given
Confidence is more attractive than make up.
To a certain extent. If you're arrogant it's like wearing 10 inches of foundation, opposite effect
To a certain extent. If you're arrogant it's like wearing 10 inches of foundation, opposite effect
The old 'cant polish a turd' mantra
I was actually meant to close my TSR account before I saw this and decided to write a few words.
I have no idea what the rest of those anons are getting at.
As for myself, I wouldn't say I'm ugly. NOBODY is ugly, as my mum always says with absolutely full conviction. I think of myself as being very average: small matté eyes, terrible skin, crooked nose, spots all over my arms, big stomach despite a healthy diet, freckles, flat chest, tiny feet, 18 and no regular monthly periods yet. I wear makeup because it gives me some kind of a mask to hide behind and I love when during the evening I wash it off, along with all the nastiness of the day. I go to sleep, regenerate, wake up and on with another day. Oh, and I wear baggy clothes because it's comfortable when I go to lectures. I wear makeup because, indeed I need it to show those eyes, but mainly because I enjoy wearing it. I'm in the same situation as you: I'm 18, I've never kissed anybody, have never been in a relationship etc. I'm straight but up to this point I never liked any guy (really). I have high demands, but I'm justified in placing them because I'm interesting and fascinating in my own way. Perhaps not to everybody but at least to one person out of the 7 billion out there. One day I'll meet a guy who will love me hugely just because we'll be alike, he'll feel good in my company and not just because my hair is soft and shiny. And this guy you met for coffee? He himself asked if you wanted to meet his loved ones (something he probably didn't ask to do with every girl). It was his own will. He liked you enough not to be embarrassed by you. His family would probably tease him a lot about you and evidently he thought that you were so cool as to shut their mouths. Evidently you weren't so boring. I can't compete either. And I don't do that. And I said to a guy who tried to argue with me about it - I don't want to do that. There is no pressure. And guys aren't usually disgusted by girls, trust me. You should know that to think that anybody dismisses you on the grounds that your 'ugly' is absurd.
There are 7 BILLION people in this world. I won't ever believe that for all of them being 'pretty' is the most important feature in anyone.
You're a very interesting person, I'm very much convinced of this. You are an asset to this world in your very own way. Perhaps you get out of your bed every day and see 'beautiful' people all around, which in turn fuels your low esteem. But aren't their faces empty, colourless, their eyes without an apparent mark of thinking about life and nature etc.? I'm always in awe of those who manifest their intelligence by not just living everyday (defined by: simply waking up, eating, doing whatever you do, going to sleep and so on) but by trying to work out this world. You are clearly not one of those people - you think, you wonder, you get depressed but you aren't insensitive, you feel emotions not because your phone got lost but because you struggle with the important things. And one day you'll discover just how silly you are to think that appearance is all that really matters. Of course, naturally pretty people have it easier. But isn't it a much bigger achievement to make do with what you can't really change? Unless you were a human frog - but then, my sister wants to be a vet and she loves frogs! She would always catch them and bring them home when she was small.
What else can I tell you? My words won't probably convince you, but I'm not so interesting to others either. But I've been in your situation and trust me, you're wrong about everything you just wrote there. I hope that in a few years you'll see just how wonderful the world is. I hope that soon you'll see how beautiful you are, because nobody is ugly. Do you know what's boring? Perfection. Perfection is monotonous and not at all interesting. Perfect nose, perfect teeth, perfect skin - and you're left with nothing intriguing in a human face, whose brain is supposed to make them interesting.
If your misery becomes unbearable, do talk to a psychologist. I'm currently seeing one due to similar reasons (she's very good and only takes a tenner an hour) and trust me, there's nothing more therapeutic than an experienced woman telling you just how wrong you are in your thinking. Life will teach you eventually how to love yourself. You just have to start believing, honestly.
My best wishes to you.
I have no idea what the rest of those anons are getting at.
As for myself, I wouldn't say I'm ugly. NOBODY is ugly, as my mum always says with absolutely full conviction. I think of myself as being very average: small matté eyes, terrible skin, crooked nose, spots all over my arms, big stomach despite a healthy diet, freckles, flat chest, tiny feet, 18 and no regular monthly periods yet. I wear makeup because it gives me some kind of a mask to hide behind and I love when during the evening I wash it off, along with all the nastiness of the day. I go to sleep, regenerate, wake up and on with another day. Oh, and I wear baggy clothes because it's comfortable when I go to lectures. I wear makeup because, indeed I need it to show those eyes, but mainly because I enjoy wearing it. I'm in the same situation as you: I'm 18, I've never kissed anybody, have never been in a relationship etc. I'm straight but up to this point I never liked any guy (really). I have high demands, but I'm justified in placing them because I'm interesting and fascinating in my own way. Perhaps not to everybody but at least to one person out of the 7 billion out there. One day I'll meet a guy who will love me hugely just because we'll be alike, he'll feel good in my company and not just because my hair is soft and shiny. And this guy you met for coffee? He himself asked if you wanted to meet his loved ones (something he probably didn't ask to do with every girl). It was his own will. He liked you enough not to be embarrassed by you. His family would probably tease him a lot about you and evidently he thought that you were so cool as to shut their mouths. Evidently you weren't so boring. I can't compete either. And I don't do that. And I said to a guy who tried to argue with me about it - I don't want to do that. There is no pressure. And guys aren't usually disgusted by girls, trust me. You should know that to think that anybody dismisses you on the grounds that your 'ugly' is absurd.
There are 7 BILLION people in this world. I won't ever believe that for all of them being 'pretty' is the most important feature in anyone.
You're a very interesting person, I'm very much convinced of this. You are an asset to this world in your very own way. Perhaps you get out of your bed every day and see 'beautiful' people all around, which in turn fuels your low esteem. But aren't their faces empty, colourless, their eyes without an apparent mark of thinking about life and nature etc.? I'm always in awe of those who manifest their intelligence by not just living everyday (defined by: simply waking up, eating, doing whatever you do, going to sleep and so on) but by trying to work out this world. You are clearly not one of those people - you think, you wonder, you get depressed but you aren't insensitive, you feel emotions not because your phone got lost but because you struggle with the important things. And one day you'll discover just how silly you are to think that appearance is all that really matters. Of course, naturally pretty people have it easier. But isn't it a much bigger achievement to make do with what you can't really change? Unless you were a human frog - but then, my sister wants to be a vet and she loves frogs! She would always catch them and bring them home when she was small.
What else can I tell you? My words won't probably convince you, but I'm not so interesting to others either. But I've been in your situation and trust me, you're wrong about everything you just wrote there. I hope that in a few years you'll see just how wonderful the world is. I hope that soon you'll see how beautiful you are, because nobody is ugly. Do you know what's boring? Perfection. Perfection is monotonous and not at all interesting. Perfect nose, perfect teeth, perfect skin - and you're left with nothing intriguing in a human face, whose brain is supposed to make them interesting.
If your misery becomes unbearable, do talk to a psychologist. I'm currently seeing one due to similar reasons (she's very good and only takes a tenner an hour) and trust me, there's nothing more therapeutic than an experienced woman telling you just how wrong you are in your thinking. Life will teach you eventually how to love yourself. You just have to start believing, honestly.
My best wishes to you.
Stop putting yourself down, OP
Everyone used to tell me in school that I was ugly and it made me feel like crap
I stopped caring and bought myself nice clothes and had my hair styled instead of keeping it short
I started to wear nice makeup instead of not bothering
I started to FEEL more attractive and this then carried off in my personality which makes other people perceive you that way
Don't let yourself put yourself down
Chin up
x
Everyone used to tell me in school that I was ugly and it made me feel like crap
I stopped caring and bought myself nice clothes and had my hair styled instead of keeping it short
I started to wear nice makeup instead of not bothering
I started to FEEL more attractive and this then carried off in my personality which makes other people perceive you that way
Don't let yourself put yourself down
Chin up
x
You can't polish a turd
Original post by Anonymous
If someone is ugly,they shouldn't bother wearing makeup or dressing nicely as nobody of the opposite sex would like them anyway.
Yes I am talking about myself here,and was curious to see if anyone else who felt themselves to be ugly ever thought this before i.e what's the point in taking care of my appearance..?'
I've suddenly just stopped caring.I have never liked my appearance,actively avoided mirrors and photos etc..but I still wore makeup and liked to dress in clothes I liked but I felt I was deluding myself..I'm 18,I've never had a boyfriend,no guy has ever liked me to my knowledge and I've never kissed a guy. I've went for coffee and to get ice cream several times with this guy I met but I was so nervous that when he asked if I'd like to meet his parents I'm sure I acted like an idiot..and things ended in arguments..evidently I wasn't pretty and I was boring...I never let myself like a guy now because I know he would be disgusted to know I did.I'm very shy and just not...pretty like all the other girls on campus.I can't compete. My shyness and paranoia is killing my personality..even with close friends I'm ruining the relationships because my confidence is so low.I see their prettiness and hate myself further.
Can anyone relate to me at all?
Yes I am talking about myself here,and was curious to see if anyone else who felt themselves to be ugly ever thought this before i.e what's the point in taking care of my appearance..?'
I've suddenly just stopped caring.I have never liked my appearance,actively avoided mirrors and photos etc..but I still wore makeup and liked to dress in clothes I liked but I felt I was deluding myself..I'm 18,I've never had a boyfriend,no guy has ever liked me to my knowledge and I've never kissed a guy. I've went for coffee and to get ice cream several times with this guy I met but I was so nervous that when he asked if I'd like to meet his parents I'm sure I acted like an idiot..and things ended in arguments..evidently I wasn't pretty and I was boring...I never let myself like a guy now because I know he would be disgusted to know I did.I'm very shy and just not...pretty like all the other girls on campus.I can't compete. My shyness and paranoia is killing my personality..even with close friends I'm ruining the relationships because my confidence is so low.I see their prettiness and hate myself further.
Can anyone relate to me at all?
Lol if that statement was true then everyone would be plain and frankly miserable. Your sooo obsessed with the idea of physical standard beauty that you fail to grasp the concept that a pretty face is nothing with a personality. Unfortunately some individuals are born with more flaws than others but it doesnt mean that we should try wallow in self pity just because we dont fit into a particular "Norm" for what is beauty. you want compliments and having the confidence to talk to boys, TRY and work with your best features. if it your eyes make them more prominent, if you have a good body wear clothes that flatter your figure. try and set commitments and goals each day. and motivate yourself to always look at the bright side for situations. and honestly if you cant love yourself who will?
Original post by Anonymous
someone is ugly
i will say you should not be doing worrying.
you are not realise that the same feeling is happening to opposite sex as well. not every opposite sex is being very extremely pretty. they the same way will thinking no one is wanting them.
the result is being two people who deep down really wanting someone, will try with anyone, but saying no one will wanting them.
i am repeating.
two people who each saying they will try with anyone, but thinking no one will try with them.
i emphasising the point that is two people saying this.
I know this saying is over-used, but "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". There is no official standard of what's ugly and what isn't so the chances are not everyone thinks you're ugly, even if you do yourself. Also, at least looking like you made an effort is better than being ugly AND badly dressed. Just wear stuff that accentuates your best features (there has to be at least one thing you like about your appearance) and hides your worst. Also, confidence and a good sense of humour can be the difference between ugly and beautiful!
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