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Boyfriend wants to do drugs
My boyfriend hangs out with people that do a lot of weed. I know this is considered a 'soft' drug but I have made it very clear ever since the beginning of our relationship that I am NOT okay with illegal drugs of any kind, and he said he respected my opinion. Now he's saying that he can't relax or fall asleep and wants to start doing weed to combat this. Apparently when he's with his friends and they offer him a spliff he 'feels he is only saying no because of me' and like I'm getting in the way of his decisions. The way he said that made me feel like drugs were more important to him than me. I've explained so many times why I wouldn't be comfortable if he started smoking weed - I've seen it ruin some of my close friends, it can be very dangerous, it's illegal anyway so what's the point etc. but every time he says he just doesn't get it; weed's a harmless drug. If he's really an insomniac, why can't he just go to the doctors about it and get something prescribed legally? Basically, this has all really upset me and made me seriously consider my future with my boyfriend. Am I being too harsh? What should I do?
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Smoking it because you need it to relax or sleep is a bad idea. You shouldn't need to do a drug, that's dodgy.
Edit- though on the other hand, I don't think it's good you think him wanting to do something you don't like means it's more important to him than you. That's a controlling attitude, he is an independant person who has every right to do things you don't like. It sounds like you disagree on this, so you feel he should automatically fold and do what you want, not what he wants.
Edit- though on the other hand, I don't think it's good you think him wanting to do something you don't like means it's more important to him than you. That's a controlling attitude, he is an independant person who has every right to do things you don't like. It sounds like you disagree on this, so you feel he should automatically fold and do what you want, not what he wants.
(edited 10 years ago)
You need to talk it out with him. You need to decide if it is a dealbreaker or not, and if it is, tell him. Once he knows that it is you or weed it is his decision. You would have to be prepared that he may choose the "freedom" option of single and drugs, but if you feel strongly about this, then surely it is the right thing (as a long time future would be severely affected my this difference in opinions)
Your boyfriend is either lying, or incapable of rational thinking.
If he can't sleep and wants treatment, the most logical thing to do is go to a qualified professional, i.e. a doctor, before even thinking about choosing his own treatment.
If he is capable of this line of thought, then he's not telling the truth about taking weed due to sleep problems.
The latter is more likely.
Talk to him about why he does not want to go to the doctor to even get advice, even if he doesn't want actual treatment.
He is right, though. Weed is no more dangerous than tobacco. I don't see why you're against him using drugs, though. If you're worried about the law, it's not like he'd get caught, and it's not like people actually get arrested for smoking weed even when the police do find out.
If he can't sleep and wants treatment, the most logical thing to do is go to a qualified professional, i.e. a doctor, before even thinking about choosing his own treatment.
If he is capable of this line of thought, then he's not telling the truth about taking weed due to sleep problems.
The latter is more likely.
Talk to him about why he does not want to go to the doctor to even get advice, even if he doesn't want actual treatment.
He is right, though. Weed is no more dangerous than tobacco. I don't see why you're against him using drugs, though. If you're worried about the law, it's not like he'd get caught, and it's not like people actually get arrested for smoking weed even when the police do find out.
I agree with you about the drug thing, I'm totally against them, and I think he should respect your wishes and his own body.
However, I don't think going to the doctor is necessarily the right thing either, some prescription drugs can be as bad as or even worse than weed.
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However, I don't think going to the doctor is necessarily the right thing either, some prescription drugs can be as bad as or even worse than weed.
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Did you know weed can cause brain damage in youngsters? It's not really all that harmless. You're very right not to want him near drugs, but I'm afraid you'll have to consider the possibility of letting him go if you can't keep him away from that path (it's not like you can just force him).
You shouldn't stop him doing what he wants.
And the whole 'I can't sleep' thing is just an excuse because he clearly likes you and wants to be with you but he feels he needs to make excuses because you're being too controlling.
You're also essentially blackmailing him by saying if you do this I'll split up with you which isn't cool in my books.
Lastly if you're really that against drugs I'm surprised you still want to be with someone who wants to try them.
And the whole 'I can't sleep' thing is just an excuse because he clearly likes you and wants to be with you but he feels he needs to make excuses because you're being too controlling.
You're also essentially blackmailing him by saying if you do this I'll split up with you which isn't cool in my books.
Lastly if you're really that against drugs I'm surprised you still want to be with someone who wants to try them.
Original post by RyanAGTerry
I agree with you about the drug thing, I'm totally against them, and I think he should respect your wishes and his own body.
However, I don't think going to the doctor is necessarily the right thing either, some prescription drugs can be as bad as or even worse than weed.
Posted from TSR Mobile
However, I don't think going to the doctor is necessarily the right thing either, some prescription drugs can be as bad as or even worse than weed.
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would you agree that as much as he should respect her wishes she is not respecting his?
Original post by Treeroy
Your boyfriend is either lying, or incapable of rational thinking.
If he can't sleep and wants treatment, the most logical thing to do is go to a qualified professional, i.e. a doctor, before even thinking about choosing his own treatment.
If he is capable of this line of thought, then he's not telling the truth about taking weed due to sleep problems.
The latter is more likely.
Talk to him about why he does not want to go to the doctor to even get advice, even if he doesn't want actual treatment.
He is right, though. Weed is no more dangerous than tobacco. I don't see why you're against him using drugs, though. If you're worried about the law, it's not like he'd get caught, and it's not like people actually get arrested for smoking weed even when the police do find out.
If he can't sleep and wants treatment, the most logical thing to do is go to a qualified professional, i.e. a doctor, before even thinking about choosing his own treatment.
If he is capable of this line of thought, then he's not telling the truth about taking weed due to sleep problems.
The latter is more likely.
Talk to him about why he does not want to go to the doctor to even get advice, even if he doesn't want actual treatment.
He is right, though. Weed is no more dangerous than tobacco. I don't see why you're against him using drugs, though. If you're worried about the law, it's not like he'd get caught, and it's not like people actually get arrested for smoking weed even when the police do find out.
Your last point is *******s.. I've been arrested, charged and found guilty of possession of a Class B - Cannabis - 0.8 grams. £100 fine. 12 months custodial sentence. I'm not allowed in the USA EVER although paedophiles are. Gotta love justice ay..
Original post by viriol
Did you know weed can cause brain damage in youngsters? It's not really all that harmless. You're very right not to want him near drugs, but I'm afraid you'll have to consider the possibility of letting him go if you can't keep him away from that path (it's not like you can just force him).
This is however a very good point!
I still can't believe we have a system which encourages an unregulated market freely available to children.
Original post by pizzle223
would you agree that as much as he should respect her wishes she is not respecting his?
Oh definitely, but I've always been against drugs, I don't see the point, not a big drinker either before you mention that one. However, I believe everyone should be able to make their own decisions, I just think that OP should decide whether it's that big a deal or not, and whether its worth ending it over.
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Original post by pizzle223
Your last point is *******s.. I've been arrested, charged and found guilty of possession of a Class B - Cannabis - 0.8 grams. £100 fine. 12 months custodial sentence. I'm not allowed in the USA EVER although paedophiles are. Gotta love justice ay..
Yeah that is utter crap, legal system is rubbish tbh, as well as society in general.
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Original post by RyanAGTerry
Oh definitely, but I've always been against drugs, I don't see the point, not a big drinker either before you mention that one. However, I believe everyone should be able to make their own decisions, I just think that OP should decide whether it's that big a deal or not, and whether its worth ending it over.
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That's fair enough, I'm not a big drinker either. At least not a big get very drunker..
Original post by RyanAGTerry
Yeah that is utter crap, legal system is rubbish tbh, as well as society in general.
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It's the price we have to pay for freedom! haha
Original post by pizzle223
Your last point is *******s.. I've been arrested, charged and found guilty of possession of a Class B - Cannabis - 0.8 grams. £100 fine. 12 months custodial sentence. I'm not allowed in the USA EVER although paedophiles are. Gotta love justice ay..
I was under the impression that people are given a warning if it's just weed or something.
Anyway, it's not hard to not get caught. How on earth did you manage it?
(edited 10 years ago)
Well your boyfriend is just being an idiot isn't he. Who cares about my health and potential criminal record if caught as long as I can get high because YOLO.
So despite all the blatant health problems, including making people kill other people, you just wouldn't care and would make them all legal? Why?
Original post by Treeroy
I was under the impression that people are given a warning if it's just weed or something.
Anyway, it's not hard to not get caught. How on earth did you manage it?
Drug laws are dumb. If I had my way, no drug would be illegal. Unfortunately our leftish society restricts us like this.
Anyway, it's not hard to not get caught. How on earth did you manage it?
Drug laws are dumb. If I had my way, no drug would be illegal. Unfortunately our leftish society restricts us like this.
So despite all the blatant health problems, including making people kill other people, you just wouldn't care and would make them all legal? Why?
Original post by Treeroy
I was under the impression that people are given a warning if it's just weed or something.
Anyway, it's not hard to not get caught. How on earth did you manage it?
Drug laws are dumb. If I had my way, no drug would be illegal. Unfortunately our leftish society restricts us like this.
Anyway, it's not hard to not get caught. How on earth did you manage it?
Drug laws are dumb. If I had my way, no drug would be illegal. Unfortunately our leftish society restricts us like this.
It's up to the officer. I was drunk so I guess I wasn't hiding it much plus I was told in court someone saw me and phoned the police. You'd think they'd have something better to do at 1am. I did have a caution on my record before for an unrelated offence but lets be honest, some police just enjoy being dicks.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Scott.M
Well your boyfriend is just being an idiot isn't he. Who cares about my health and potential criminal record if caught as long as I can get high because YOLO.
So despite all the blatant health problems, including making people kill other people, you just wouldn't care and would make them all legal? Why?
So despite all the blatant health problems, including making people kill other people, you just wouldn't care and would make them all legal? Why?
Because them being illegal only causes more health problems.
Original post by pizzle223
Because them being illegal only causes more health problems.
How is that? Less people do them = less health problems. Also being illegal causes them to be more expensive which also = less people do them = less health problems.
Original post by Scott.M
So despite all the blatant health problems, including making people kill other people, you just wouldn't care and would make them all legal? Why?
You seem to have missed my point if you counter anti-authoritarianism with that.
I believe people should be allowed to do whatever they like to themselves. If it causes them to have health problems then fine; it's their choice. You own your body, so you should be able to do whatever you want with it.
I'd also like to hear of these drugs that make people murder.
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