Don't know what to do about my ex girlfriend

We broke up 2 months ago after 11 months together. The relationship hadn't been going well for a while, which was mostly my fault. I had become distant and after a month or two of that she felt too pushed away from me. She ended it because she had developed feelings for another guy and no longer felt as strongly about me.

We're in sixth form together so we see each other around a lot.

So for the first month or so following the breakup, she got together with the new guy, and me and her didn't speak. There was obviously some bad feeling there, mostly from me to her due to the nature of the break up.

But over the last month, we've started talking when we see each other around. It's very happy and friendly, we'll always hug at the end, and it's obvious there's still feelings between us.

But I don't know what to do:

If I carry on talking to her every now and then, I get a horrid feeling when we have to say bye and I know she's with another guy now.

But if I cut her off, I get a horrid feeling of seeing her around everywhere but knowing we're just strangers now. She's a genuinely nice girl and I would like her in my life in some way, and going from what we had together to absolutely nothing would be hard.

Thanks for any advice :redface:

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

bump

Reply 2

Metropolis

16

wtf man, she ditched you for another guy and your still hanging around with her and hugging her etc - this just shows you're a chump and shes feeding off of it.

go out and get new girls man, dont let her have everything exactly how she wants it

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Metropolis

wtf man, she ditched you for another guy and your still hanging around with her and hugging her etc - this just shows you're a chump and shes feeding off of it.

go out and get new girls man, dont let her have everything exactly how she wants it

But even though she ditched me it was because of me not treating her right so we're sort of even

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

come on guise

Reply 5

Jackass.

Original post by Anonymous

come on guise

You say she's a nice girl and that ultimately you stopped seeing each other because you became distant, so i don't think you can hold much of a grudge if she's with another guy she has a right to move on. If you do have feelings and want to be with her tell her, if you have feelings but don't think it would work you being together doesn't mean you can't be friends. As you say it'd be horrible to act like strangers after all that you've had, you clearly get on so for me it's a straight choice between what's harder: friends without her being 'yours' or not getting to speak to her at all anymore as part of your life. In my view i'd keep the contact and the nice atmosphere between you, i understand the difficulty saying bye to her each time with that feeling in your stomach, but its better than losing someone altogether surely? Hope that helps you mate

Reply 6

Riku

2

Original post by Jackass.

You say she's a nice girl and that ultimately you stopped seeing each other because you became distant, so i don't think you can hold much of a grudge if she's with another guy she has a right to move on. If you do have feelings and want to be with her tell her, if you have feelings but don't think it would work you being together doesn't mean you can't be friends. As you say it'd be horrible to act like strangers after all that you've had, you clearly get on so for me it's a straight choice between what's harder: friends without her being 'yours' or not getting to speak to her at all anymore as part of your life. In my view i'd keep the contact and the nice atmosphere between you, i understand the difficulty saying bye to her each time with that feeling in your stomach, but its better than losing someone altogether surely? Hope that helps you mate

I second this, however I'd add that he should currently be distant friends but treat her well, as by creating this thread he's showing she's on her mind a lot and it's probably a bit painful to see her close to another guy. If the emotions prove too strong go full NC and either wait for her to return if she misses him, or treat his next partner better.

Reply 7

Jackass.

Original post by Riku

I second this, however I'd add that he should currently be distant friends but treat her well, as by creating this thread he's showing she's on her mind a lot and it's probably a bit painful to see her close to another guy. If the emotions prove too strong go full NC and either wait for her to return if she misses him, or treat his next partner better.

That's true, she's clearly on your mind so the feelings must still be strong. Like i said, you need to decide whether you want to be with her first. If that's a no then you may have to limit contact a bit but still friendly, just enough to allow yourself to sort of ween off her if you will. But from personal experience i'd say it's harder to have no contact at all, because if you're seeing her everyday then it's not like you can completely erase any feelings in a click. It's hard to see them and have feelings for them without being able to express them properly, but i feel it's better than thinking about them as you clearly are but without getting to speak at all