university or boyfriend ?

I carried on seeing my (now ex) long time girlfriend when I first came into uni.

We broke up because I started developing feelings for my flatmate.

So, IMO, university >>> boyfriend.

Reply 21

beccagood95

20

Original post by M1011

Boyfriend? OMG you're a traitor to your own cause. When you were a feminist I respected you, now... well now you're just a hippy.

Yeah yeah, get off the thread you troll. You're also now off-topic.

Reply 22

Aph

22

Original post by M1011

Aww shucks, I'm just bored at work :tongue:

Well you're causing damage and are almost reported

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 23

moonriver96

13

My friend's sister was with her boyfriend for 6 years. They were even planning to get married but suddenly it all ended. See, you can never be sure if a relationship, no matter how good it is at the moment, will last. If it ends and you've given up your uni place, you'll regret it..

Reply 24

M1011

19

Original post by beccagood95

Yeah yeah, get off the thread you troll. You're also now off-topic.

So all men are trolls? Typical.

Original post by Aph

Well you're causing damage and are almost reported

Either that or you lack a sense of humour.

Almost reported? Dear lord, I think I finally know what the Jewish folk felt like back in the 40s.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 25

Robertus

6

This coming from a man of roughly the same age, I'd say go to uni where you want to go. As others say, it's useless to sacrifice the education that you want for a relationship that you are only in for now.

And that's not to say that you will definitely break up with this guy. Plenty of people - if the bond is strong enough - stay with the partners they were with at 19/20 for many, many years. But with any relationship, you should always accept the possibility that it may end. If and when it does, you'd be much happier knowing you went to the uni that you originally decided you wanted to go to and got the degree you wanted.

I can't say for certain since I've never been in this situation, but I'd like to think if I had a girlfriend that was going off to a uni far away from mine, I'd support her in every way possible with that decision. Ultimately, I think those in a relationship should strive to see their partner become as successful in the long-term as possible, even if that means making difficult short-term sacrifices.

Reply 26

perfectmix

5

It's obviously your choice. But if you did stay with him for years to come, you probably would have to get used to spending less time with him if you both get full time jobs for example. I know it's different, but if it works, it works. I can't begin to imagine the dilemma you have but I genuinely think I would choose going to my Uni of choice. If you can both cope with the distance, it could be meant to be. If you can't, maybe it was going to fizzle out anyway? Perhaps you will appreciate the time you do have together more. You can always Skype loads and plan good meetups for up and coming holidays such as going abroad or spending a romantic weekend together. I've never been in love or been to Uni yet so idk.

Reply 27

mariamcconaloguee

don't drop education to have a love life! Its only been a short time, and who knows you could even break up between the year, and you could be left with the regret of not going to university. There are plenty of people you will meet in your life. Don't be foolish, get your degree, go where you wanna be!

Reply 28

Joshale

19

you've rarely known him, trust me most relationships young will not workout and you will deeply regret not going to university over this.
that said, it can still work if you both are committed.

Reply 29

Taelii

10

You might be the couple that actually make a long distance relationship work, you never know!

Reply 30

BlueSheep32

11

Original post by Robertus

This coming from a man of roughly the same age, I'd say go to uni where you want to go. As others say, it's useless to sacrifice the education that you want for a relationship that you are only in for now.

And that's not to say that you will definitely break up with this guy. Plenty of people - if the bond is strong enough - stay with the partners they were with at 19/20 for many, many years. But with any relationship, you should always accept the possibility that it may end. If and when it does, you'd be much happier knowing you went to the uni that you originally decided you wanted to go to and got the degree you wanted.

I can't say for certain since I've never been in this situation, but I'd like to think if I had a girlfriend that was going off to a uni far away from mine, I'd support her in every way possible with that decision. Ultimately, I think those in a relationship should strive to see their partner become as successful in the long-term as possible, even if that means making difficult short-term sacrifices.

^^This. You had planned to go to that uni before you met him, and once you have your degree you will have it for life whereas he might not be around in your life forever. The long distance will be hard, but you can make it work by making sure you make time to see each other as often as realistically possible and by keeping in touch with each other regularly via text/phone/Skype/whatever when you're apart. If you're meant to be together then he'll be supportive of your decision and things will work out, if not then you won't regret not going to the uni you really wanted to go to.

You're going to find it hard if you hate spending one night alone though. A long distance relationship is nearly always more difficult to start with if you were used to seeing the person practically every day before. Believe me, I've been there. If you do go to the uni you originally chose, you're going to have to get used to him not being around all of the time or you're going to spend all of your time at uni feeling really sad because he isn't there and that will have a negative impact on every area of your life. You do get used to it eventually, you just have to keep yourself busy (easily done at uni) and the time between seeing each other passes a lot more quickly.

Reply 31

Allaboutthatbass

12

TBH you sound like you love living at home and your life as it is now. I don't know if you're ready to go to Uni. Are you feeling excited to go?
I think you should, if you are ready, go to Uni and keep an LDR with your boyfriend. If it was meant to be it was meant to be. If not then it wasn't.

Reply 32

pinkbullets

12

I know you said you don't want to hear this - but I've been doing a LDR about the same distance as yours for two years now - only got one year left to go. I'd only been with my boyfriend for six months when I left too. I'm not going to press my point but it can work - I didn't believe it could work either until I did it.

As for your options - it depends if you think you still wouldn't have any regrets if you changed unis or took a gap year and you guys broke up after a month. It also depends if you could move to uni, break up with him and not ruin your university experience by mourning the end of your relationship.

Reply 33

bumblebee342

13

Original post by Anonymous

I usually wouldn't suffice to asking the internet this worryingly large question but I am stuck in the worst decision which I can not wrap my head around...

I have been seeing this guy for 6 months now,with us only making it official "boyfriend girlfriend" status in the past week, though its not like we were not exclusive! Its a weird one because ever since I met him in april we have spent pretty much 5/6 days and nights out of the week together minus a couple holidays i have been on, so out of the 6 months together i reckon ive spent over 5 months of the whole time with him! and im usually someone who sticks their nose down at that. Though its not as though we are a cringey couple we just really enjoy each others company and its a bonus we are attracted to each other. It seems too have only come into proper strong emotions recently (i thought i could go to uni easy say bye n see him time to time as mates) but noo i dislike spending one night alone now!

my terrible dilemma is that I have a place at uni which is a 5 hour drive, 7 hour train and 10 hour coach journey, im not stupid when i say its obviously not going to be the same! 3 years with that distance doesn't seem plausible even though id like it to be! there is honestly nothing more that i enjoy than my life right now i enjoy my job my life outside of it living at home with my brill parents, i would literally do anything to put it on pause!

sorry for the lecture... if anyone has bothered to read id be so thankful for advice as my brain is fried!

the options i am thinking about are
1- quickly organizing a clearing place at the uni in Leeds (my city) so i can continue my life with the benefit of uni!
-
2- just snod it and go to uni down south and hope that it may someway work ...and in the future if we are not together and im happy il be v happy with this decision? (pls don't lecture me on if you care about each other enough etc,. i like seeing him everyday!!)

3- continue work as a receptionist for another year and defer uni and think about closer unis... obviously deferring would just delay the inevitable though as my boyfriend stated (we would have another year behind our backs and would be a stronger couple) though this year has been my gap year so id be off to uni at 20!!!!

4- ****ing life and moving to Thailand

i know its only being 6 months i know im barking mad but i am honestly completely stuck!! i was exited about moving away until i realized we would actually last .......

You met him in April? That's not 6 months...

Anyway, if someone's having second thoughts about uni, usually I'd tell them to really consider what they're doing. However, if you're having second thoughts because of a guy, that's a different story in my opinion.
Option 2 seems like the most plausible to me. I don't think you should be putting your education on hold because of your boyfriend. I'd be thinking about the long run, yeah you could still be with him in years time, but there's also a chance that you won't stay together. Is it really something worth risking your place at uni for?

Bear in mind that you don't have to have one or the other - if you care about eachother and really want the relationship to work, you'll try and find ways to make it work even with the distance. If you really like him, go to uni and make the effort to keep the relationship going (that's a real test for whether two people are suited and committed to a relationship)

Reply 34

sorotity

if he loves you he will wait for you

university or boyfriend ?

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