3 out of 4 women still don't want to pay for dates
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Yeah, and how many women still do the majority of cooking and domestic chores? I have cooked for guys and didn't expect some sort of reward or to have the favour returned. Similarly it's fine if a woman wants to date a man who pays for dates.
Haha sounds like i'm one of those "reaches for purse but doesnt want to pay" types.
On a first date: I'd expect to be treated well, I will probably pay my share without any fuss, might even insist. But would MUCH prefer the man to not allow me. Just shows more about their personality. Would be more likely to go for a drink or 5 straight after if he was a gentleman at dinner (and probably/definitely buy the next round of drinks etc so it probably all evens out). If the guy was stingy (have had experience of this, and each time not seen the guy many more times. Not solely for this reason but like I say this shows you more about them as a person and generally not someone I'm interested in).
In a relationship (like I am now): More than happy to pay 50%. Althoguh most of the time Ill just pay by my own card or my boyfriend does so. Its still nice to go on dates and be treated - he'll buy our dinner/desserts/drinks etc. We live together and I'm more than happy to buy supplies through the week (grocery shopping etc). No idea who owes who what. Might even go through weeks at a time where only one person has been buying. I think it overall evens out though. Not that it matters, money isnt everything. One person buys ingredients, the other does most of the cooking/washing up = fair.
On a first date: I'd expect to be treated well, I will probably pay my share without any fuss, might even insist. But would MUCH prefer the man to not allow me. Just shows more about their personality. Would be more likely to go for a drink or 5 straight after if he was a gentleman at dinner (and probably/definitely buy the next round of drinks etc so it probably all evens out). If the guy was stingy (have had experience of this, and each time not seen the guy many more times. Not solely for this reason but like I say this shows you more about them as a person and generally not someone I'm interested in).
In a relationship (like I am now): More than happy to pay 50%. Althoguh most of the time Ill just pay by my own card or my boyfriend does so. Its still nice to go on dates and be treated - he'll buy our dinner/desserts/drinks etc. We live together and I'm more than happy to buy supplies through the week (grocery shopping etc). No idea who owes who what. Might even go through weeks at a time where only one person has been buying. I think it overall evens out though. Not that it matters, money isnt everything. One person buys ingredients, the other does most of the cooking/washing up = fair.
Original post by cosmic angel
Lolwut? Has nobody taught you how to talk to people?
No woman in any sort of society has the duty to act feminine or submissive to any random male off the street. Least of all to somebody as crass as yourself. LOOOOOL stop telling me how I ought to be.
No woman in any sort of society has the duty to act feminine or submissive to any random male off the street. Least of all to somebody as crass as yourself. LOOOOOL stop telling me how I ought to be.
He was telling you how to act, he was pointing out that if you expect a man to fit the provider stereotype, then you should fit the submissive woman stereotype.
And if you don't then you are taking advantage of the man, and really being a hypocrite. You are having your cake and eating it too.
Personally I'd feel more comfortable just paying for it all myself rather than going halves or anything like that.
If a girl really wants to be equal about it, I'd rather she just said something like "Okay fine, but I'm getting it next time!" instead of insisting to pay her half. In general I think you build much better bonds with people that way, by treating them every so often, and them returning the favour every so often.
Calculating the bill and paying for what you ate seems overly formal to me. It seems like what you'd do if the date didn't go well and you don't want a second one.
If a girl really wants to be equal about it, I'd rather she just said something like "Okay fine, but I'm getting it next time!" instead of insisting to pay her half. In general I think you build much better bonds with people that way, by treating them every so often, and them returning the favour every so often.
Calculating the bill and paying for what you ate seems overly formal to me. It seems like what you'd do if the date didn't go well and you don't want a second one.
Original post by tpxvs
Haha sounds like i'm one of those "reaches for purse but doesnt want to pay" types.
On a first date: I'd expect to be treated well, I will probably pay my share without any fuss, might even insist. But would MUCH prefer the man to not allow me. Just shows more about their personality. Would be more likely to go for a drink or 5 straight after if he was a gentleman at dinner (and probably/definitely buy the next round of drinks etc so it probably all evens out). If the guy was stingy (have had experience of this, and each time not seen the guy many more times. Not solely for this reason but like I say this shows you more about them as a person and generally not someone I'm interested in).
In a relationship (like I am now): More than happy to pay 50%. Althoguh most of the time Ill just pay by my own card or my boyfriend does so. Its still nice to go on dates and be treated - he'll buy our dinner/desserts/drinks etc. We live together and I'm more than happy to buy supplies through the week (grocery shopping etc). No idea who owes who what. Might even go through weeks at a time where only one person has been buying. I think it overall evens out though. Not that it matters, money isnt everything. One person buys ingredients, the other does most of the cooking/washing up = fair.
On a first date: I'd expect to be treated well, I will probably pay my share without any fuss, might even insist. But would MUCH prefer the man to not allow me. Just shows more about their personality. Would be more likely to go for a drink or 5 straight after if he was a gentleman at dinner (and probably/definitely buy the next round of drinks etc so it probably all evens out). If the guy was stingy (have had experience of this, and each time not seen the guy many more times. Not solely for this reason but like I say this shows you more about them as a person and generally not someone I'm interested in).
In a relationship (like I am now): More than happy to pay 50%. Althoguh most of the time Ill just pay by my own card or my boyfriend does so. Its still nice to go on dates and be treated - he'll buy our dinner/desserts/drinks etc. We live together and I'm more than happy to buy supplies through the week (grocery shopping etc). No idea who owes who what. Might even go through weeks at a time where only one person has been buying. I think it overall evens out though. Not that it matters, money isnt everything. One person buys ingredients, the other does most of the cooking/washing up = fair.
And what do you think it says about your personality that you expect guys to pay? Or rather than expect, let's say judge them on their willingness to pay?
Because for me it is the same. I am actually going on holiday and will be paying the much larger share. But that is because she already is my gf, and because I can and I know she is doing as much as she can. But on the first dates I will not be paying all. To me, if you judge me on that, then sorry, but get off your high horse, it is not me who has the privilege to take you out. It should be mutual.
Original post by WBZ144
Yeah, and how many women still do the majority of cooking and domestic chores? I have cooked for guys and didn't expect some sort of reward or to have the favour returned. Similarly it's fine if a woman wants to date a man who pays for dates.
Maybe they died from food poisoning before being able to return the favour?
Original post by brainhuman
He was telling you how to act, he was pointing out that if you expect a man to fit the provider stereotype, then you should fit the submissive woman stereotype.
And if you don't then you are taking advantage of the man, and really being a hypocrite. You are having your cake and eating it too.
And if you don't then you are taking advantage of the man, and really being a hypocrite. You are having your cake and eating it too.
Re bold: no I should not - (not as far as you're aware or concerned
), for you're just another random man off the street to me.
Original post by TheArtofProtest
I pay for my dates. I was taught that it is only good and proper that a man does so.
[...]
No, because if I don't pay for my dates, I would get arrested for theft:
http://d25hqtnqp5nl24.cloudfront.net...8793_BP_11.jpg
[...]
No, because if I don't pay for my dates, I would get arrested for theft:
http://d25hqtnqp5nl24.cloudfront.net...8793_BP_11.jpg
PRSOM, you are a legend
roflOriginal post by Anonymous
So according to traditions, it's ok if the guy expects you to have his dinner ready for him when he gets home from work. Also you stay at home and do the housework while he's at work. Maybe girls should have to take home economics and make it compulsory?
honestly I don't think that's bad, I'd do things like that, that's my choice
Original post by Erebor
So you also think the man is the head of the family, the leader, the king of the castle? Then we have no quarrel.. what I hate is hypocrisy and choosing ''equalities'' like it's a buffet.
yeah I think that is the role of the man, it should be that way
and yeah I see what you mean about the hypocrisy, but im not out of them people who choose equalities
Original post by cosmic angel
Re bold: no I should not - (not as far as you're aware or concerned ), for you're just another random man off the street to me.
), for you're just another random man off the street to me.I didn't mean to me.
I meant to the guy whose money you are spending.
Original post by shazy2014
honestly I don't think that's bad, I'd do things like that, that's my choice
Well I suppose if that's the way you'd like to run things it would be fine. It's just that some people expect to have things all their own way.
Original post by WBZ144
Yeah, and how many women still do the majority of cooking and domestic chores? I have cooked for guys and didn't expect some sort of reward or to have the favour returned. Similarly it's fine if a woman wants to date a man who pays for dates.
That's fine. The problem are the women who claim they want equality and hate gender roles but are fine with men being stuck in their provider role when the waiter brings the bill.
Several people's opinions on here are utterly abhorrent. If I went on a date with a girl and she took issue with something as petty as splitting the bill or had some traditionalist viewpoint that every time it ought to be me paying cos I have a Y chromosome, I categorically wouldn't want anything to do with her.
It's the principle of the thing. I have no problem paying as a gesture of good will but not when there's that expectation there. I want someone to be with me for my company, not my wallet.
Posted from TSR Mobile
It's the principle of the thing. I have no problem paying as a gesture of good will but not when there's that expectation there. I want someone to be with me for my company, not my wallet.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by EllainKahlo
What is sexist about me paying for my own share?
why not offer to pay for the guys meal too on half the first dates you go?
After all, "women" do all want equality don't you?
oh,I forgot..., many only want to cherry pic the equality when in suits you.
Original post by brainhuman
I didn't mean to me.
I meant to the guy whose money you are spending.
I meant to the guy whose money you are spending.
What I actually said was that I liked gentlemanly behaviour from a man, that I found it attractive. I did not say I was attracted to a masochist who'd want me to be submissive for him.
Nor did I say I 'expected' men to pay for me but that I was happy to pay for myself. Supposing a man wanted to pay for my date because he wanted to be a gentleman, or thought it was romantic or generous? Somebody who posted here describes men refusing to let her pay though she was happy to, so clearly what I was describing exists. And I wouldn't be the one spending his money, he'd be spending it on me. As to whether that will be fair to the man in question or worth his money, I don't see why your opinion would be in any way relevant if such a person has made his own decision?
Some people don't see everything as a matter of bartering and and wouldn't stipulate that they wanted something back in return if they paid for my meal on a date. It is men who share that mindset that I like, and as silly as it sounds, if I were male I'd do the same for the girls I'd go on dates with.
I hope I've made my position clear to you.
Original post by ANM775
why not offer to pay for the guys meal too on half the first dates you go?
After all, "women" do all want equality don't you?
oh,I forgot..., many only want to cherry pic the equality when in suits you.
After all, "women" do all want equality don't you?
oh,I forgot..., many only want to cherry pic the equality when in suits you.
You're obviously an individual who doesn't even care about my answer, though you suggest that you do by posing a question. So you're not getting one from me. You've already decided that you're right and everything I say is wrong, which is pathetic, so goodbye. If you can't have an intelligent debate, I won't waste my efforts on you.
Some of the opinions expressed on here are so stupid; what's the problem with just paying for your own share? You shouldn't be going somewhere expensive and fancy for a first date in any case, I'm not saying going to McDonalds or anywhere like that but a pizza restaurant is fine.
Men: You shouldn't feel pressured into paying for all of the meal and if a woman expects you too I would not be seeing her again
Women: It's 2016, at least be prepared to pay for what you bought. This entitlement complex is ridiculous. You all work, don't you?
Men: You shouldn't feel pressured into paying for all of the meal and if a woman expects you too I would not be seeing her again
Women: It's 2016, at least be prepared to pay for what you bought. This entitlement complex is ridiculous. You all work, don't you?
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