Cheating at clubs

so me and my girlfriend have been together since year 8, it’s a lot for how young we are i know but we still plan to go further. should i be worried about her wanting to go clubbing? i’ve heard many stories about mates getting cheated on when their girls are clubbing, and i’m finding it quite hard to not worry about this. any help?

Since year 8??? So you've been together for several years and you're worried about her cheating when going clubbing?

Here's the question: do you trust her?

only if she is out of your league and she runs into a premier league football player

i do, however i’ve had anxiety ever since we started dating and i have since had therapy to help deal with my insecurities. i just don’t like the idea of her being so excited for some sweaty room filled with blokes who would happily ruin a relationship to get their tongue down her throat :/ i just don’t know what to say to her really

Does she know about the therapy? Does she know about your anxiety? If so, then talk to her about this?

If she doesn't know then maybe you could tell her?

If she's going clubbing, she's probably going with a group of friends right? (Side note: who goes clubbing by themselves anyway?). Has she been clubbing before? If not does she know the general do's and don'ts e.g. if you put your drink down then don't go back to it (in case it gets spiked)?

i do, however i’ve had anxiety ever since we started dating and i have since had therapy to help deal with my insecurities. i just don’t like the idea of her being so excited for some sweaty room filled with blokes who would happily ruin a relationship to get their tongue down her throat :/ i just don’t know what to say to her really

in all honesty, you should probably tell her that its something that makes you really paranoid.

Most blokes just dance amongst themselves or try and pull girls they already have a casual acquaintance with. 99% of guys dont have the confidence to approach strangers and the ones that do, have plenty of options and wont persist with someone who isnt interested.

I wouldnt worry

see she seems a bit reckless when it comes to clubs, i have a gcse and some qualifications in music technology so i was hoping to get a job in a club to kind of see what it’s like. but neither of us have been to a club as we are both underage but i am fully aware of what happens at clubs thanks to some mates.

i’m just afraid she’s rushing into things a bit without thinking about what could happen and how many arse-holes there will be on the dance floor with her and her mates. however whenever i try to talk to her she just ignores it, i find it quite frustrating and she is fully away of the therapy i’ve had.

Best to sit her down and talk frankly about all of this and how it's causing you a lot of anxiety (if you haven't already, I know you said you tried). Ultimately whether she goes or not is her decision but make sure you don't guilt her into not going. Also people tend to exaggerate what happens in clubs and she's going to go clubbing at some point in her life.

i guess your right, we did have a bit of a plan sorted out and maybe i should just stay true to that and trust her, it’s just the wait, knowing it could be happening.

i hope she understands when i talk to her tomorrow morning, it doesn’t help my physical health, why do you think i’m up right now instead of sleeping ahead of college :/

i assume you’re familiar with the club scene?

so me and my girlfriend have been together since year 8, it’s a lot for how young we are i know but we still plan to go further. should i be worried about her wanting to go clubbing? i’ve heard many stories about mates getting cheated on when their girls are clubbing, and i’m finding it quite hard to not worry about this. any help?

the question 'well, do you trust her??'

misses the point entirely.

You may trust her normally.. but its perfectly rational not to trust all the guys around her, and also to trust her less after a shed-load of alcahol, inhibiting ones self control/mental capacity.

The answer to this question is always the same:

1, there is nothing wrong with worrying about your partner going clubbing, it is an inherently dangerous/risky situation.
2, there is nothing wrong with her wanting to go clubbing.. we all take risks to enjoy life

Answer: make a compromise. Go clubbing with her so you can protect her from any problems.. or make sure she always goes clubbing with a group of friends and at least one of them is not drinking etc. just talk about it and find a solution.

The solution is not that she always goes clubbing though, or that she never goes clubbing.. both of those will leave a tension in your relationship as one person is not fully satisfied.