My best friend doesn&#x27;t speak, it is weird?

Have you tried talking to her about this?

Reply 2

OP

Original post by Tiger Rag

Have you tried talking to her about this?

Ive asked her a few times, but everythime I ask her she says she doesn't know why shes so quiet

Reply 3

username3932602

8

Original post by Anonymous

Hello TSR, I am going annoymous as I don't want anyone finding out mine or my friends identity.

You may think that I'm being silly, but i'm actually writing this on the verge of tears. My friend is so painfully shy that I'm actually considering just ditching her altogether.

When I say she is shy, I mean she is painfully shy. She doesn't speak to ANYONE in our school accept me, and she only speaks to me if I start up a conversation with her(Its like she can't start a conversation). Last week, my mum gave her a lift home from school and she didn't say a word to her the whole 15 minute ride home, and didn't even say thank you when she dropped her off at her house.

Other friends have commented on it too. Literally nobody in my school likes her because she is so quiet. People have even asked me "Has she got special needs or something?".

Please can someobody help me, why do you think she is so shy? Has she got autism or something?

Try to open her up to things, step by step. Don't ditch her, that's just a horrible thing to do when she had taken the courage to actually speak to you. Maybe take her to a school counsellor (if you have one0 but don't baby sit her. Maybe let her say things because if you say everything for her she will just roll with it. Being social is important in our human society, even introverts talk a lot. So she'll have to get used to it, I guess.Also, don't just assume she has special needs, maybe ask her mum to take her to a doctor to get something diagnosed (if there is anything to diagnose). Friends need to help each other. Although I have no experience in this situation, I hope you can take my advice.

Reply 4

Original post by Anonymous

Ive asked her a few times, but everythime I ask her she says she doesn't know why shes so quiet

Then just leave it. It could just be the way she is.

Reply 5

YeFool

13

Get rid of her the weirdo

Reply 6

username3932602

8

Original post by YeFool

Get rid of her the weirdo

Hopefully you're just trolling.

Reply 7

hajima

20

Selective mutism?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_mutism
Try asking her in the most natural and unconfrontational way possible why she doesn't like speaking to anyone but you, tell her that she doesn't have to answer if she doesn't want to and do not ditch her.

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

There was a girl in my year like that.
Then one day she suddenly changed(she'd asked someone how she was so much more loud and confident) and there was like a sudden change in personality, she became loud and rebellious, swearing at teachers and stuff. She changed so much.

Reply 9

OP

Original post by stickylobster

Try to open her up to things, step by step. Don't ditch her, that's just a horrible thing to do when she had taken the courage to actually speak to you. Maybe take her to a school counsellor (if you have one0 but don't baby sit her. Maybe let her say things because if you say everything for her she will just roll with it. Being social is important in our human society, even introverts talk a lot. So she'll have to get used to it, I guess.Also, don't just assume she has special needs, maybe ask her mum to take her to a doctor to get something diagnosed (if there is anything to diagnose). Friends need to help each other. Although I have no experience in this situation, I hope you can take my advice.

The only reason I assume she may have autism is because her sister has it. I have tried letting her speak in the past but we were just sat there in silence for 10 minutes. The main reason i'm worried is because we are going to different colleges in September and honestly don't know how she will cope without me(I know that might sound stuck up). Our school does have a pastoral support team but they are a load of crap

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

Hello TSR, I am going annoymous as I don't want anyone finding out mine or my friends identity.

You may think that I'm being silly, but i'm actually writing this on the verge of tears. My friend is so painfully shy that I'm actually considering just ditching her altogether.

When I say she is shy, I mean she is painfully shy. She doesn't speak to ANYONE in our school accept me, and she only speaks to me if I start up a conversation with her(Its like she can't start a conversation). Last week, my mum gave her a lift home from school and she didn't say a word to her the whole 15 minute ride home, and didn't even say thank you when she dropped her off at her house.

Other friends have commented on it too. Literally nobody in my school likes her because she is so quiet. People have even asked me "Has she got special needs or something?".

Please can someobody help me, why do you think she is so shy? Has she got autism or something?

She's embarrassed that people will go 'Hey she talked!' The solution to rectify this problem is to simply tell your classmates to not react when she speaks. I guarantee this will work.

Reply 11

Original post by Anonymous

The only reason I assume she may have autism is because her sister has it. I have tried letting her speak in the past but we were just sat there in silence for 10 minutes. The main reason i'm worried is because we are going to different colleges in September and honestly don't know how she will cope without me(I know that might sound stuck up). Our school does have a pastoral support team but they are a load of crap

But that's her problem and not yours.

It's possible she does have a problem but has decided not to tell you.

Reply 12

OP

Original post by Tiger Rag

But that's her problem and not yours.

It's possible she does have a problem but has decided not to tell you.

I dont see why she wouldn't tell me though. I have always been so open with her, about my MH issues and other personal stuff. I know that she is from a poor family. Not so poor that they are on the breadline, but she gets free school meals and school trips paid for her and stuff like that. I do feel sorry for her a lot, however I don't feel like this is an excuse for ignorance.

Reply 13

OP

Original post by hajima

Selective mutism?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_mutism
Try asking her in the most natural and unconfrontational way possible why she doesn't like speaking to anyone but you, tell her that she doesn't have to answer if she doesn't want to and do not ditch her.

This has helped a lot, thanks so much!x

Reply 14

Original post by Anonymous

I dont see why she wouldn't tell me though. I have always been so open with her, about my MH issues and other personal stuff. I know that she is from a poor family. Not so poor that they are on the breadline, but she gets free school meals and school trips paid for her and stuff like that. I do feel sorry for her a lot, however I don't feel like this is an excuse for ignorance.

Some people don't feel the need to share everything with other people. I don't.

Reply 15

OP

Original post by Tiger Rag

Some people don't feel the need to share everything with other people. I don't.

I would understand that normally, but I have MH issues that if she doesn't tell me stuff like "normal" friends do, then I think I've done something wrong. She knows all this as well as all of my friends had it explained to them. In my opinion its just selfish, even if she is going through some stuff its not my fault shes poor

Reply 16

Original post by Anonymous

I would understand that normally, but I have MH issues that if she doesn't tell me stuff like "normal" friends do, then I think I've done something wrong. She knows all this as well as all of my friends had it explained to them. In my opinion its just selfish, even if she is going through some stuff its not my fault shes poor

It's not selfish.

I don't tell my friends everything. I have no obligation to and neither do they.

Reply 17

doodle_333

19

Original post by Anonymous

I dont see why she wouldn't tell me though. I have always been so open with her, about my MH issues and other personal stuff. I know that she is from a poor family. Not so poor that they are on the breadline, but she gets free school meals and school trips paid for her and stuff like that. I do feel sorry for her a lot, however I don't feel like this is an excuse for ignorance.

The only ignorance I can see is coming from you.

Original post by Anonymous

I would understand that normally, but I have MH issues that if she doesn't tell me stuff like "normal" friends do, then I think I've done something wrong. She knows all this as well as all of my friends had it explained to them. In my opinion its just selfish, even if she is going through some stuff its not my fault shes poor

So because you have one problem it overwhelms any issues the people around you might have? THAT is selfish.

I'm not trying to be harsh but it sounds like your friend has selective mutism. I had a close friend with selective mutism and it makes life REALLY hard. She's now in her 20s and still finds life really tough. Maybe she has autism, or anxiety or something else instead of mutism or alongside... who knows. It's up to her if she wants to tell you. Just be a good friend and support her by sticking by her. DItching her because cruel children say she's weird is horrible.

Reply 18

jamesgillian123

18

she could be going through some hard times, ditching her wont help that

Reply 19

DrawTheLine