The Most Painful Experience Of My Life

I'm sorry to hear that you've gone through that. Karma will serve her in the future. She won't be able to rid herself of those habits and you'd find someone who truly desreves you. Eight months may seem long now but at least you was not sucked in for a longer time.

Bro I'm just happy you got out of that toxic relationship. Sorry toxic is an understatement here.

So, I'm in my second year of college in England right now. Last year I started dating this girl who was in a few of my classes and it was great!...For the first few months. This girl quickly went from being the most important thing to me to one of the biggest causes of misery in my entire life, and I've been through quite a bit. We started dating in September 2017, and from September right up until start of February, it was fantastic! Everyone was supportive, we were a great couple, always going out on dates to the cinema or to dinner or shopping, I loved buying her gifts (I calculated it, I spent over £2000 on her, ****.) we had amazing sex too! Incredibly kinky and frequent and a lot of fun. Anyway, after all of this, February began. She started treating me like absolute ****, like complete ****ing trash. We were fine when it was me and her at my place or her place, or out on a date! We were like we normally were back in the early months, but when we were in college or class or hanging out with other people for the most part she'd treat me awfully. She'd snap and yell and throw me dirty looks and do this thing where whenever I said something which did actually make complete sense she'd purposely slur or stutter her words and whilst responding and look around at people who were around us trying to make contact as if she was trying to say "what the **** did he just say?". I'm sure you all know what I mean. After about a month of us, she sends me a text one night saying she knows she's been treating me awfully, and to come over and talk about it. I head over to hers and she tells me that she's been treating me like **** because of her (undiagnosed) depression (I forgot to mention, she was a total cringe lord edgy teenage girl who spent all her time watching black and white teen wolf gifs on Tumblr, you know the sort..) Now of course, I being the supportive and caring boyfriend, and caring for her very much just smiled and nodded and hugged her throughout the conversation and told her it was okay, even though I knew she was giving me really ****ing awful excuses but I figured she'd recognised what she was doing and wouldn't do it again. I was wrong. Very next day in between classes, she's doing it again. Are you ****ing kidding me? What was the point of apologising and making it like some *****y American teen drama if you were just gonna do it again barely hours after saying you'd stop it? Anyway, later that day I tell her she's doing it again and she starts telling me that she doesn't like me hanging out with her and her friends, and that it makes her feel uncomfortable when we're affectionate in front of her friends because "I've always been the strong one in the friendship group that people can always come to for help" which made no absolutely sense, I know. ****ing stupid. How would me kissing her make her seem weak or lessen her inflated ego? ****. So then she tells me that she knows she's been treating me wonderfully but she'd like a week break. THEN, later on that evening she sends me a text saying that she knows she's got to start treating me better and that she loves me. Anyway, the next week we're back together and all is well for a little while, she starts slipping back into it but worse, she's started to get incredibly dramatic, overreacting to everything, when she gossiped about it all to her friends sh'ed always emphasis and dramatise the events and misquote me or just completely change the scenario. I let this carry on, it's my fault too. I loved her and didn't want to lose her so I let her carry on. So here we are, she's on and off being lovely to being horrible. Then one week she starts acting properly off, barely even speaking to me even though we were fine and nothing had gone wrong for a little while? Later that night, she calls me and breaks it off over the phone. ****ing soul-crushing, I'm an absolute mess for like three weeks. Started going out almost every night and getting pissed, stopped coming to lessons as much, and when I did it was with black eyes and hangovers. One night she messaged me saying that even though we were broken up she would keep my secrets and she'd be civil with me. I was still a little ****ed up but I was still glad that was something she'd said and promised, even after months and months of her being horrible. I think I was just so desperate to find something good I just took whatever she said. A week later, my friend tells me how she overheard her on the college bus home talking about how I always lied to her and how I always exaggerate or change the stories of what happened (You see how she was setting it up because she knew that at some point I was gonna tell people what she had done, and she wanted to get her fiction in before my truthful version to make me seem like the villain of the story) then a few days later my friend sends me a snapchat video of her saying all this **** in the college common room about how I "cheated and lied and took drugs all the time". This ****ing crushed me. I had never done anything like that. I was nothing but nice to this girl, I was amazing to her. Better than she ever ****ing deserved. I'm angry, I'm so angry that I message her that night, confronting her about everything she's been lying about, a full fledged paragraph or two about it all. Her response? "Okay yeah I exaggerated a bit but everyone does every now and then what's the big deal". ****ing unreal. Genuinely mind blowing. I'm furious, this girl subjected me to months of manipulation and treated me like ****. I start calling her out on everything, on how she's fake, how she's manipulative and a truly awful person. She quickly starts telling me she wants to kill herself. Now, I know this girl, I know this girl very very well. I know she's trying to get a rise out of me, she's trying to get a reaction and some sympathy because she's the only one that matters and needs attention, right? I immediately screenshot it and send it to her parents. Because A: If she was serious (which she wasn't) then she deserves to be confronted for such a disgusting ****ing thing to manipulate someone with, or B: If she was serious, then those closest to her need to know, i.e her parents. After I did that I blocked her on EVERYTHING. Ever since then she's always trying to catch my eye in classes or I'm always seeing her look at me in the corner of my eye. I'm never going to look back, horrible person. I'm still heavily affected by the things she said and did and she still does, she still talks **** about me to this day and it's soul crushing because I was so nice to her. I'm moved on now and I've been seeing and screwing a few people since her, but it's still very upsetting. If she was just a fling I wouldn't care, but I was with that girl for eight months. Got her Hamilton tickets and everything rip, that's where the £2000 comes in. Anyway, it's gutwrenching and upsetting and horrible, and to this day she still tells her friends her version where she's in the right and I'm the villain. But whatever, nothing I can do about it. Misery. Total misery.

Any thoughts and comments appreciated.

Well - how can I tell if this story isn’t fabricated version. Once I was reading a book about ‘human relations and their different behaviours’, in that book I found out that we as human never blame ourselves. Even the people who commits murder and act of terrorism still ways to justify their inhumane actions

I fully agree with you, there's no way you can tell if I'm telling the truth or not, but I'd hope people would realise there's no way I'd spend forty five minutes writing some of my experience up in the early hours of the morning. This is something that has been on my mind for a while and I wanted to share it online as both an outlet and cautionary tale. Believe what you want.

And yes! Obviously the idea of me having done something wrong had crossed my mind. Of course it did! For the months and months I spent post-breakup laying awake til 5am or not sleeping at all wondering what I could've done that had made it end up this way. I took it all into consideration.