My Mum smokes cigarettes

Appreciate the advice and replies.

I have tried talking to her, whenever I do she says she'll "stop after this last pack" and always buys another one (I understand that it is addicting and hard to stop immdiately), but there aren't even any signs of her reducing how much she smokes. What I say isn't working, so I feel like I should take action. No one else in the household really cares about her habit. Wasting cigarettes (and so money) in the short term to at least try and reduce her habit and stop her wasting money to me seems worth it.

And yes, it is her choice but when her choice will eventually most likely affect me whether it be financially or whatever, I beleive I should get involved as well.

Again, thanks for the replies.

You could go to the GP or pharmacy for advice on helping your mum with her addiction.

Reply 21

Poppyiq

2

Original post by Seamus123

‘Poppyiq’. Sounds about right. Do poppies have an IQ? Probably not.

and by the sounds of it you don't have a heart

Reply 22

Claire461

21

Original post by Obolinda

You could go to the GP or pharmacy for advice on helping your mum with her addiction.

It isn’t really about that. It’s the way OP has gone about it up until now.

Original post by Seamus123

It isn’t really about that. It’s the way OP has gone about it up until now.

Huh? I disagree with the way she's went about it so far but that's already been outlined several times. OP wanting to help her Mum with her smoking habit, which is impacting herself and her Mum, I don't think is a bad thing.

Reply 24

Bio 7

21

Original post by Anonymous

Appreciate the advice and replies.

I have tried talking to her, whenever I do she says she'll "stop after this last pack" and always buys another one (I understand that it is addicting and hard to stop immdiately), but there aren't even any signs of her reducing how much she smokes. What I say isn't working, so I feel like I should take action. No one else in the household really cares about her habit. Wasting cigarettes (and so money) in the short term to at least try and reduce her habit and stop her wasting money to me seems worth it.

And yes, it is her choice but when her choice will eventually most likely affect me whether it be financially or whatever, I beleive I should get involved as well.

Again, thanks for the replies.

So your desire for her to stop is actually just for selfish reasons. You are not responsible for her. She will only stop when she says so, not before. All you will do is waste money and p*ss her off.

Reply 25

maths42

13

Lots of people smoke and whilst it isn't a good idea, it doesn't make sense that you think that you can decide whether or not your mother does it. What if every smoker had a child who was doing this?

Reply 26

Anonymous #3

Talk to her instead of throwing them away. Throwing them away is just going to piss her off. Tell her you're worried about her, and you want her around as long as possible, and maybe something about being their for future grandchildren.

Accept though that it's her choice regardless of how stupid it is. The older generation are often very reluctant to give up smoking.

Reply 27

Crumpet1

19

You both need to sit down and talk to each other. You need to explain to her with full disclosure why you are throwing her cigarettes away (because you love her, ultimately), but more importantly you need to ask her why she smokes. Yes there is the addiction, but she stops now and then, so what makes her restart? Stress? Then talk to her about whether there is anything you can do to help with that stress. If actually it would be more constructive for you to do X and address the root cause rather than just to throw her cigarettes away, then that is what you should do. Welcome to adult-ing.

Reply 28

Crumpet1

19

Original post by Anonymous

And yes, it is her choice but when her choice will eventually most likely affect me whether it be financially or whatever, I beleive I should get involved as well.

This bit does you no favours. You look like a self-centred teen, rather then someone actually trying to help. Don't use it when you speak to your mum.

Reply 29

maths42

13

I mean, think how many people are going to buy cigarettes who could really use the money instead - you're throwing away something that is the equivalent of cash to someone else so in an ideal world, you would give it away.

Similarly it always seems silly on TV programmes when alcoholics who are quitting pour away a whole bottle of spirits...that could have been given to someone who would have bought that anyway! Or for what it's worth, it's unlikely the alcoholic will never have a drink again so if they were disciplined, they could save themself some money by saving it!

Reply 30

nabilahhh

21

Cigarettes do seem to be a bit expensive but throwing them away won’t do much buttt I can see you really do want to help her so advice her. My mums the same tbh. I jus don’t know what to do tbh. It is an on and off thing so she’s probably stressed or something x

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 31

Anonymous #1

OP

Again, thanks for the replies,

I will try and talk to her again this week but I don't think it will really do anything. She is often very stressed and that is the main reason she does it, and I will help more in this sense. I haven't actually been throwing her cigarettes away since she started (I did before then), but I have hidden them and told her that I threw them away, cause it does seem a bit of a waste, though it is a waste in the first place buying them. And I do honestly think that "throwing them away" does help a bit with the habit, since she is less inclinced to have a fag if she has to go out and buy them than if she just has to go to the living room and take them from there.

Reply 32

Bio 7

21

Original post by maths42

I mean, think how many people are going to buy cigarettes who could really use the money instead - you're throwing away something that is the equivalent of cash to someone else so in an ideal world, you would give it away.

Similarly it always seems silly on TV programmes when alcoholics who are quitting pour away a whole bottle of spirits...that could have been given to someone who would have bought that anyway! Or for what it's worth, it's unlikely the alcoholic will never have a drink again so if they were disciplined, they could save themself some money by saving it!

I really hate waste so I think the same.

Reply 33

StriderHort

21

If you care and want to help then talk, stop being a brat and messing with her things and assuming you can control her.

Reply 34

maths42

13

Original post by StriderHort

If you care and want to help then talk, stop being a brat and messing with her things and assuming you can control her.

Says Mr. Burns with a gun :biggrin:

Reply 35

StriderHort

21

Original post by maths42

Says Mr. Burns with a gun :biggrin:

Hey that's an accurate profile pic :P

Bet you wouldn't catch folk hiding HIS ciggies...

Reply 36

Anonymous #4

I know a mother who, after having her cigarettes thrown out by her daughter again and again, punished the daughter by getting her to smoke 3 cigarettes a day for a month. Not only didn't the daughter ever do that again but she understood her mother's smoking a lot more. Within a year she, too, was smoking every day. Lesson learned?

My Mum smokes cigarettes

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