Crush for 3 years... what do I do?

I have had a crush on her for 3 years now and she does not know and I don't know what to do about it.
I have tried so hard to not talk about her, to ignore the feelings I have.

Nothing seems to work :frown:

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

why would u have to ignore your feelings? cant you try and get the girl?

Reply 2

PhoenixFortune

21

Original post by Anonymous

I have had a crush on her for 3 years now and she does not know and I don't know what to do about it.
I have tried so hard to not talk about her, to ignore the feelings I have.

Nothing seems to work :frown:

Why don't you tell her? If she's single, the worst thing she can say is that she doesn't feel the same way. After that, you can move on knowing you did everything you could.

Reply 3

Fullofsurprises

20

Original post by Anonymous

I have had a crush on her for 3 years now and she does not know and I don't know what to do about it.
I have tried so hard to not talk about her, to ignore the feelings I have.

Nothing seems to work :frown:

You don't have to do anything about it. Sometimes crushes are just strong feelings that it doesn't make sense to act on, they just point to underlying issues you have.

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

Original post by Fullofsurprises

You don't have to do anything about it. Sometimes crushes are just strong feelings that it doesn't make sense to act on, they just point to underlying issues you have.

NGL I agree, I would let the feelings die down. If you tell her and she doesn't feel the same way it is unlikely that you will remain friends. But if you don't then you can carry on like normal.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

NGL I agree, I would let the feelings die down. If you tell her and she doesn't feel the same way it is unlikely that you will remain friends. But if you don't then you can carry on like normal.

I suppose you are right. We have been in the friends zone for along time and I would like things to be normal as they have been. She is in a relationship aswell; I have been trying to get rid of the way I have been feeling about her for 3 years now but my feelings do not seem to be going away!

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by PhoenixFortune

Why don't you tell her? If she's single, the worst thing she can say is that she doesn't feel the same way. After that, you can move on knowing you did everything you could.

That's the thing. She is not single. I have felt this way about her for 3 years. I have really been trying to get rid of these feelings but they don't go away.
We are friends but telling her I feel may ruin everything and I don't want to lose her.

Reply 7

PhoenixFortune

21

Original post by Anonymous

That's the thing. She is not single. I have felt this way about her for 3 years. I have really been trying to get rid of these feelings but they don't go away.
We are friends but telling her I feel may ruin everything and I don't want to lose her.

Has she been in a relationship solidly for those 3 years? If not, you should have taken your chance while she was single. If you are too worried that your dynamic will change if you tell her, then don't. Just ignore the feelings you have, and accept how it has to be.

Reply 8

Surnia

20

Original post by Anonymous

That's the thing. She is not single. I have felt this way about her for 3 years. I have really been trying to get rid of these feelings but they don't go away.
We are friends but telling her I feel may ruin everything and I don't want to lose her.

Having a crush is usually just a safe way to explore feelings, and either you do something abut it or it passes. Your case is extreme, and you need to think why you won't try a relationship with anyone else. A 3 year infatuation with a girl who isn't available is showing a serious avoidance of commitment and fear of rejection; you have a crush on her because you know it won't go anywhere and you won't get hurt more than just thinking about it. You need to occupy yourself with study, work, hobbies and start meeting other people to love on from this girl.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Surnia

Having a crush is usually just a safe way to explore feelings, and either you do something abut it or it passes. Your case is extreme, and you need to think why you won't try a relationship with anyone else. A 3 year infatuation with a girl who isn't available is showing a serious avoidance of commitment and fear of rejection; you have a crush on her because you know it won't go anywhere and you won't get hurt more than just thinking about it. You need to occupy yourself with study, work, hobbies and start meeting other people to love on from this girl.

I have tried to be in relationships with other people but they've never worked.
I cannot help thinking about her! But you are right, I do not want to hurt her by confessing how i feel (especially since she us happy with her gf!)
I feel i should just cut off contact with her and maybe that may stop me from thinking about her and having this crush on her.
It's the only solution I can think of.

Thank you

Reply 10