Toxic med school classmate relationship Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#1
I’ll try keeping this as short as possible given that it’s a very complicated storyline to explain.
As soon as we met three years ago we had a flirty dynamic which was on and off. I tried breaking it off by asking him out which was politely declined. However, the following day the flirting would continue.

Fast-forward to last month where we got drunk at an end of term party and sexual things happened. It was very unromantic and quite degrading. The following week he was ignoring me at uni. Over Xmas, no texts.

I’ve heard from people that he took the liberty to share what happened at the party, and therefore I took the - I know probably toxic move, to share that he is quite small. This is something his friends always joke about with him too, calling him a ‘micropenis’.

Now the reason I’m writing this is because yesterday during an exam we had quite an abusive episode. As I tried waking past I pushed his arm to make my way around him, at which point he yelled in front of everyone to ‘quit the attitude’. This shook me a lot and I didn’t react. My flatmate said he was obviously upset over the penis comments and that I should stop.

To make matters worse, afterwards he turned to some girls I never met before and called me psycho, and the girls agreed by saying ‘we heard stories no one likes her’ whilst I was standing next to them.

I feel like I have the right to keep calling him out as he has been incredibly disrespectful towards me. On the other hand, it’s starting to scare me as he seems a bit aggressive.
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999tigger
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#2
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#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ll try keeping this as short as possible given that it’s a very complicated storyline to explain.
As soon as we met three years ago we had a flirty dynamic which was on and off. I tried breaking it off by asking him out which was politely declined. However, the following day the flirting would continue.

Fast-forward to last month where we got drunk at an end of term party and sexual things happened. It was very unromantic and quite degrading. The following week he was ignoring me at uni. Over Xmas, no texts.

I’ve heard from people that he took the liberty to share what happened at the party, and therefore I took the - I know probably toxic move, to share that he is quite small. This is something his friends always joke about with him too, calling him a ‘micropenis’.

Now the reason I’m writing this is because yesterday during an exam we had quite an abusive episode. As I tried waking past I pushed his arm to make my way around him, at which point he yelled in front of everyone to ‘quit the attitude’. This shook me a lot and I didn’t react. My flatmate said he was obviously upset over the penis comments and that I should stop.

To make matters worse, afterwards he turned to some girls I never met before and called me psycho, and the girls agreed by saying ‘we heard stories no one likes her’ whilst I was standing next to them.

I feel like I have the right to keep calling him out as he has been incredibly disrespectful towards me. On the other hand, it’s starting to scare me as he seems a bit aggressive.
Maybe work out what you want and then adopt a strategy to get it?

The difference between his friends and you is that you arent his friend and have slept with him. One of the most toxic things you can say to a guy, so its hardly surprising he replies in kind and will do so al long as he is reminded of what you have done. Guess its some sort of war and it wont stop unless the two of you want it to. Keep calling him out and see where that gets you.
Normal people would have avoided and stopped poking him with a sharp stick.

He now believes you have humiliated him in front of everyone on the course, so he will do the same to you.
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Anonymous #1
#3
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(Original post by 999tigger)
Maybe work out what you want and then adopt a strategy to get it?

The difference between his friends and you is that you arent his friend and have slept with him. One of the most toxic things you can say to a guy, so its hardly surprising he replies in kind and will do so al long as he is reminded of what you have done. Guess its some sort of war and it wont stop unless the two of you want it to. Keep calling him out and see where that gets you.
Normal people would have avoided and stopped poking him with a sharp stick.

He now believes you have humiliated him in front of everyone on the course, so he will do the same to you.
Thanks for your input - I completely understand what you’re saying.
Problem is I want a relationship from him and he doesn’t 😅
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TSR Mustafa
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#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for your input - I completely understand what you’re saying.
Problem is I want a relationship from him and he doesn’t 😅
You want a relationship still? Lmao
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999tigger
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#5
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for your input - I completely understand what you’re saying.
Problem is I want a relationship from him and he doesn’t 😅
Actually I dont think you make the connections or understand at all.
You make yourself sound like a basket case.
Maybe find someone who has mutual feelings?
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CTLeafez
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#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for your input - I completely understand what you’re saying.
Problem is I want a relationship from him and he doesn’t 😅
You’ve publicly said he has a small penis and you’ve got the reputation of being psycho (whether this is true doesn’t matter)... you’re very unlikely to ever build a romantic relationship with this guy...
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harrysbar
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#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Problem is I want a relationship from him and he doesn’t 😅
Good Luck with that one.

You were extremely disrespectful to him to share the size of his penis with other people - far worse than what he did to you in my opinion. I would just keep away from him in future, the whole situation is toxic to the max
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Anonymous #2
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what the **** did i just read
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paub
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#9
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your training to be doctors really.
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Dunnig Kruger
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#10
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I agree paub.

Being a medical student means that you are being trained up for roles where you will be supervising others.
Part of the selection process should have been to determine if you were suitable for managing other people.

Now would be a great time for you to put on a professional managerial type hat.

For starters, this fellow student is not the sort you want to recruit into the role of being your romantic partner. Keep up the recruitment process and find another man to fill that role.

Secondly, be professional. Be polite to him, but don't get emotionally or sexually involved with him.

As a medical student you are a great catch for any young man. Keep reminding yourself of that. You don't have to restrict your choice of boyfriend to other medical students. You could, for example get attached to someone studying mechanical or production engineering.
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anosmianAcrimony
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#11
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#11
Just leave him alone. You should 100% give up on being in a relationship with him, because he's never going to want that, and if it did happen by some miracle you'd both be angry and miserable.
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Anonymous #1
#12
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(Original post by CTLeafez)
You’ve publicly said he has a small penis and you’ve got the reputation of being psycho (whether this is true doesn’t matter)... you’re very unlikely to ever build a romantic relationship with this guy...
Very unlikely to ever build a romantic relationship with this guy or any other guy - which is why I am so upset with what he did. I feel like that he did to my reputation is much worse than me going around talking about his size. At least mine is factually accurate.
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paub
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Very unlikely to ever build a romantic relationship with this guy or any other guy - which is why I am so upset with what he did. I feel like that he did to my reputation is much worse than me going around talking about his size. At least mine is factually accurate.
if this is your level of emotional development i really doubt you have even left school. i think we have a troll
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Democracy
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#14
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for your input - I completely understand what you’re saying.
Problem is I want a relationship from him and he doesn’t 😅
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ll try keeping this as short as possible given that it’s a very complicated storyline to explain.
As soon as we met three years ago we had a flirty dynamic which was on and off. I tried breaking it off by asking him out which was politely declined. However, the following day the flirting would continue.

Fast-forward to last month where we got drunk at an end of term party and sexual things happened. It was very unromantic and quite degrading. The following week he was ignoring me at uni. Over Xmas, no texts.

I’ve heard from people that he took the liberty to share what happened at the party, and therefore I took the - I know probably toxic move, to share that he is quite small. This is something his friends always joke about with him too, calling him a ‘micropenis’.

Now the reason I’m writing this is because yesterday during an exam we had quite an abusive episode. As I tried waking past I pushed his arm to make my way around him, at which point he yelled in front of everyone to ‘quit the attitude’. This shook me a lot and I didn’t react. My flatmate said he was obviously upset over the penis comments and that I should stop.

To make matters worse, afterwards he turned to some girls I never met before and called me psycho, and the girls agreed by saying ‘we heard stories no one likes her’ whilst I was standing next to them.

I feel like I have the right to keep calling him out as he has been incredibly disrespectful towards me. On the other hand, it’s starting to scare me as he seems a bit aggressive.

I don't know what you mean by "degrading" (and you obviously don't have to disclose that here) but I think if that's the case then why on earth do you want to pursue a relationship with someone like that?

It sounds like your whole dynamic is basically unsalvageable at this point and it's difficult to see how you can go from this to having any kind of normal, healthy relationship (romantic or otherwise). I would avoid any further interaction, texts, physical contact etc with him as this doesn't sound like it's going anywhere good.
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Anonymous #3
#15
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By any chance is the micropenis guy you called us was Indian?
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chantc395
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#16
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#16
Please don't take this the wrong way but he has most likely simply lost respect for you, particularly after your sexual encounter and views you as 'easy' or 'cheap'. He probably had some level of respect for you prior to that, hence the flirtatious behavior. Your degrading comments about him were possibly also a contributing factor.
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Bio 7
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If this isn't a troll them I'm assuming OP is early 20's so the level of maturity for someone of that age and a med student no less is disappointing.
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Anonymous #1
#18
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#18
(Original post by chantc395)
Please don't take this the wrong way but he has most likely simply lost respect for you, particularly after your sexual encounter and views you as 'easy' or 'cheap'. He probably had some level of respect for you prior to that, hence the flirtatious behavior. Your degrading comments about him were possibly also a contributing factor.
You’re right. Is there any way to gain respect back?
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