Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

toxic dads side of family #lockdown

Hello everyone.. im 17 years old, and im the eldest sibling and in year 12.
I dont know where to start of from... but my main aim is to gain imput from you guys.
So I belong to a south asian household - a working class household.
My mum is a complete angel. I have nothing against her. (But obvs there are certain things which I dont want to be talking to her about.)
My dad is a hardworking guy who wishes the best for us.
My dads side of the family(complete rascals) live here in the UK. Like when I tell you how venomous they are I really mean it.
They are literally always manipulating my dad on how their chidren (stupid 10 year old kiddos) wake up early in the morning at 8am have breakfast and do school work until 5pm. WTF. Complete b**s***.
This is a ongoing cycle, first happened when I was in year 6, they were like xyz's daughter is doing the 11+ why isnt your child. I did them too but failed, and me (a 11 year old kid) was told how I failed these tests and bought shame. But my mum told me its not the end of the world - yet its failures we learn from. These family members (dads side) are never there when we need them the most i.e. when I was on my death bed a few years back - hospital. I had my best friends, sisters, and my parents clinging onto the hospital bed. Anyways, as i started highschool from years 7 + they were like you shouldnt get a phone... your gonna start doing bad deeds and s***. Then as GCSE's approached i was having mental breakdows each day... ligit wanted to break off their faces. It was like mountains tumbling on me. I go a few grade 9s, 8s, 7s and 5s. An amazing result from my and my teachers perspective yet they wanted to see all 9**s. And from then onwards they are curious to know my choice of degree. Basically very nosy. As im getting older my patience level is dropping. Im not going to let my siblings go through the same s*** i went through. My parents are subtle, gentle and NOT bitter like them. i have big aspirations and do not want them to be nosy or give any input... what do i do????

Reply 1

nathan1403

Could you talk to your parents about this? It seems like they are on your side, maybe explain how your other family members make you feel and ask your parents to talk to them on your behalf?

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

when they are being nosy and ask questions, keep what you say too a minimum and maybe don't reveal your plans etc. Be more closed off with them, as the less they know the less they will have to gossip about. Talk to your parents and friends about whatever you want, they seem supportive.
Some people can be opinionated and toxic on some levels, but try not to let it get to you - be proud of yourself as you know your worth! :smile: