The Student Room Group

All my mum cares about is money?

I am an unemployed graduate looking for work and have had to move back home. I have been paying my mother £100 'board' money to cover my costs of food etc. On top of this I have been making her money online, roughly made her around £700 in 3 weeks (matched betting) to help her with bills etc, she's constantly borrowing money off me, spending money on alcohol, I have offered to give her £150 a month instead of £100 out of generosity because she says she struggles with rent. However today I made her £50 (out of my own time) and she began complaining that I don't pay her enough rent even though I am literally giving her money to sleep on the sofa because I don't have a room.

I had a job interview in another town a week ago, my plan was to move out if I got it however she made me feel so guilty that she wouldn't be able to afford rent if I moved out so I didn't end up going and I have so much regrets now. How can I stop feeling so guilty and instead focus on getting a job and moving out? :frown:
Move out, NOW! this is toxic behaviour :frown:
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
I am an unemployed graduate looking for work and have had to move back home. I have been paying my mother £100 'board' money to cover my costs of food etc. On top of this I have been making her money online, roughly made her around £700 in 3 weeks (matched betting) to help her with bills etc, she's constantly borrowing money off me, spending money on alcohol, I have offered to give her £150 a month instead of £100 out of generosity because she says she struggles with rent. However today I made her £50 (out of my own time) and she began complaining that I don't pay her enough rent even though I am literally giving her money to sleep on the sofa because I don't have a room.

I had a job interview in another town a week ago, my plan was to move out if I got it however she made me feel so guilty that she wouldn't be able to afford rent if I moved out so I didn't end up going and I have so much regrets now. How can I stop feeling so guilty and instead focus on getting a job and moving out? :frown:


To add to this I am literally making her money using all my money and not hers.
Reply 3
Original post by confuseduser
Move out, NOW! this is toxic behaviour :frown:

I have messaged a few places with rooms to rent and offered to pay 3-6 months rent upfront but because I am unemployed nobody will take me and obviously I don't want to run out of money :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
I have messaged a few places with rooms to rent and offered to pay 3-6 months rent upfront but because I am unemployed nobody will take me and obviously I don't want to run out of money :frown:

If you stop providing your mother with money, she might get a job to support herself to avoid you two going homeless! Making money through matched betting is not a stable income source for a landlord to want to rent you either, and it is not also a stable income source to support your mother on neither. So rejecting this interview has actually impeded being able to support her, and also the fact that she has guilt tripped you into supporting her with the unstable income from matched betting (leading to a bit of a logical incoherence and a self-fulfulling prophecy).
Has she always been difficult?
(edited 3 years ago)
Definitely think about moving out. And if I’m not wrong you’re an undergraduate so why don’t you tutor online along with everything else you are doing? Its a good substitute until you find a proper job.
Reply 7
Original post by confuseduser
If you stop providing your mother with money, she might get a job to support herself to avoid you two going homeless! Making money through matched betting is not a stable income source for a landlord to want to rent you either, and it is not also a stable income source to support your mother on neither. So rejecting this interview has actually impeded being able to support her, and also the fact that she has guilt tripped you into supporting her with the unstable income from matched betting (leading to a bit of a logical incoherence and a self-fulfulling prophecy).

She has a job but it's low paid. I have savings from my previous job so I have been paying her my 'board' money out of that, I am not claiming any sort of benefit and matched betting is something on the side. I wouldn't want to rent out to someone with an unstable income either but I have literally offered to pay 6 months rent upfront. Obviously I should've just gone to the interview which I deeply regret.
Original post by Anonymous
She has a job but it's low paid. I have savings from my previous job so I have been paying her my 'board' money out of that, I am not claiming any sort of benefit and matched betting is something on the side. I wouldn't want to rent out to someone with an unstable income either but I have literally offered to pay 6 months rent upfront. Obviously I should've just gone to the interview which I deeply regret.

if you went to the inverview and got the job, you may have got the house!

i'd take this as a lesson learnt for future interviews
Original post by Anonymous
I am an unemployed graduate looking for work and have had to move back home. I have been paying my mother £100 'board' money to cover my costs of food etc. On top of this I have been making her money online, roughly made her around £700 in 3 weeks (matched betting) to help her with bills etc, she's constantly borrowing money off me, spending money on alcohol, I have offered to give her £150 a month instead of £100 out of generosity because she says she struggles with rent. However today I made her £50 (out of my own time) and she began complaining that I don't pay her enough rent even though I am literally giving her money to sleep on the sofa because I don't have a room.

I had a job interview in another town a week ago, my plan was to move out if I got it however she made me feel so guilty that she wouldn't be able to afford rent if I moved out so I didn't end up going and I have so much regrets now. How can I stop feeling so guilty and instead focus on getting a job and moving out? :frown:


I understand how it would make you feel guilty but this screams toxic. If you don’t mind helping your mom out then that’s fine but ask her what the moneys for. You shouldn’t have to work hard to earn your money for her to blow it on alcohol! I give my mom £40 board money a week so you offering £150 how could she complain?! If you don’t even have a bedroom then I’d save some money and find somewhere to live, maybe a flat if it’s just for yourself. ❤️
Original post by Anonymous
I am an unemployed graduate looking for work and have had to move back home. I have been paying my mother £100 'board' money to cover my costs of food etc. On top of this I have been making her money online, roughly made her around £700 in 3 weeks (matched betting) to help her with bills etc, she's constantly borrowing money off me, spending money on alcohol, I have offered to give her £150 a month instead of £100 out of generosity because she says she struggles with rent. However today I made her £50 (out of my own time) and she began complaining that I don't pay her enough rent even though I am literally giving her money to sleep on the sofa because I don't have a room.

I had a job interview in another town a week ago, my plan was to move out if I got it however she made me feel so guilty that she wouldn't be able to afford rent if I moved out so I didn't end up going and I have so much regrets now. How can I stop feeling so guilty and instead focus on getting a job and moving out? :frown:

Is it just the two of you at home? Are you paying for half the rent and bills and buying and cooking your own food? Because that's what you would be doing if you were sharing a house with any other adult ... How was she managing the rent before you moved in?
Original post by confuseduser
If you stop providing your mother with money, she might get a job to support herself to avoid you two going homeless!

I mean, OP is an adult, why should it be their mother's responsibility to ensure they are not homeless?!
Reply 11
Stop lending her money every single time she asks, it is not your job to financially support her. Especially since you already pay rent.

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