Hopeless dating life

I’ve been trying everything for years now, dating apps, real life non dating hobby groups, events, hookup apps, even tried speed dating and irl singles events.

I’ve had a bunch of really soulless dates, the best I get is decent manners (which is nice) but never any spark, or enthusiasm, or attraction. Things die out quickly. I’ve never believed in love less in my whole life. I’ve been in love before and had butterflies but it ended so badly I see it as a delusion now .

I feel so hopeless with finding someone, and even for casual sex I can never land it with people I’m into, and (no offence) the only guys into me I’m not attracted to. Sometimes I do it anyway and convince myself I’m into it too and feel really ashamed and bad about myself after.

I’ve deleted all my apps now, I don’t know how to date as an adult without feeling so empty, bored, and unenthused with the charades. It feels like nothing is real out there and I’m worthless.

Do you have any advice? Thanks x

Honestly take my advice with a pinch of salt because I've never been in any successful relationship, but based from those around me that truly seem in happy, healthy relationships - I think it's partly down to fate and a bit of luck that love finds you at the right time. I think you have to be really content with youself and the prospect of not "dating", before it will actually happen for you? It always seems to happen when you aren't actually looking for it? I really related to the part in which you said, you tried to convince yourself that you were into it, and this is largely due to the expectations that we have placed within ourselves and on dating culture. Personally, I think the "true love" that you are longing for, it does exist, however it will happen within it's own time, one of the biggest things I have recently learnt is that if you have to try and force a connection, it wasn't meant to happen. My best bit of advice, is that you will known when it is right, and when you are ready, when it just feels natural. Everything about the person and process willl feel comfortable, natural and totally unforced - and until you feel that, I suggest you continue focusing and working on yourself

You’re right to delete apps, they lead to bad experiences and pointless and demotivating first dates. Meeting people to get a better idea if you fancy them and if there’s anything doing is better. Widen your options to meet like minded single people, flirt widely, get advice from successful fiends and give people a that don’t initially tick every box a chance. With patience and tenacity you’ll find someone good

I’ve been trying everything for years now, dating apps, real life non dating hobby groups, events, hookup apps, even tried speed dating and irl singles events.

I’ve had a bunch of really soulless dates, the best I get is decent manners (which is nice) but never any spark, or enthusiasm, or attraction. Things die out quickly. I’ve never believed in love less in my whole life. I’ve been in love before and had butterflies but it ended so badly I see it as a delusion now .

I feel so hopeless with finding someone, and even for casual sex I can never land it with people I’m into, and (no offence) the only guys into me I’m not attracted to. Sometimes I do it anyway and convince myself I’m into it too and feel really ashamed and bad about myself after.

I’ve deleted all my apps now, I don’t know how to date as an adult without feeling so empty, bored, and unenthused with the charades. It feels like nothing is real out there and I’m worthless.

Do you have any advice? Thanks x

How do deleting all the apps and having tenacity go hand in hand? I don’t have that many opportunities to meet people IRL or meet lots of new people every weekend. It’s not feasible.. but what sort of things do you suggest?

I joined hobby groups before, volunteering, events. Most guys in my industry are gay so I never meet people thru work, the other things are mostly girls, or if I go to a gym session etc the guys are so cold and aloof. It just doesn’t happen naturally at all

Its not easy except for the very attractive set. I find evenings out with friends where singles hang out the best. Get a good wingperson to help you if possible. And then all of work, friends of friends, hobbies etc., you never know when someone interesting will show up

I’m not that close with any of my friends to suggest that. I have a few friends all are either in relationships or have mental health issues which prevent us from going on fun nights out.

Here is what would be said if you were a man; it applies to your case:
you sound too desperate. Men can sense it and stay from you (at least the type of men you want) focus on yourself. The right person will come at the right time.

I’m not that close with any of my friends to suggest that. I have a few friends all are either in relationships or have mental health issues which prevent us from going on fun nights out.

Fair enough, i mean i dont express any of these thoughts to them

YYou do not need to express them. They just smell the desperation on you(sense it) and stay away from you.

I’ve been trying everything for years now, dating apps, real life non dating hobby groups, events, hookup apps, even tried speed dating and irl singles events.

I’ve had a bunch of really soulless dates, the best I get is decent manners (which is nice) but never any spark, or enthusiasm, or attraction. Things die out quickly. I’ve never believed in love less in my whole life. I’ve been in love before and had butterflies but it ended so badly I see it as a delusion now .

I feel so hopeless with finding someone, and even for casual sex I can never land it with people I’m into, and (no offence) the only guys into me I’m not attracted to. Sometimes I do it anyway and convince myself I’m into it too and feel really ashamed and bad about myself after.

I’ve deleted all my apps now, I don’t know how to date as an adult without feeling so empty, bored, and unenthused with the charades. It feels like nothing is real out there and I’m worthless.

Do you have any advice? Thanks x

Honestly take my advice with a pinch of salt because I've never been in any successful relationship, but based from those around me that truly seem in happy, healthy relationships - I think it's partly down to fate and a bit of luck that love finds you at the right time. I think you have to be really content with youself and the prospect of not "dating", before it will actually happen for you? It always seems to happen when you aren't actually looking for it? I really related to the part in which you said, you tried to convince yourself that you were into it, and this is largely due to the expectations that we have placed within ourselves and on dating culture. Personally, I think the "true love" that you are longing for, it does exist, however it will happen within it's own time, one of the biggest things I have recently learnt is that if you have to try and force a connection, it wasn't meant to happen. My best bit of advice, is that you will known when it is right, and when you are ready, when it just feels natural. Everything about the person and process willl feel comfortable, natural and totally unforced - and until you feel that, I suggest you continue focusing and working on yourself

I know this wasn’t aimed at me but this has helped me loads 🤕

Aw I'm so glad to hear this! How are you anyways