Finding it hard to respect friends boundaries

I appreciate the communication and respect their boundaries. Idk if I should feel hurt by it. But if my friend feels angry or annoyed (not at me specifically) they tell me to “**** off” “I’m not interested in talking to u” “I don’t care” “go away please”. Which is fine but it happens quite often. Feels like I’m walking in egg shells sometimes. I talked to them about they say we could just stop talking and apologises. I don’t want to stop talking to them so idk.

Reply 1

Muttly

It depends if this behaviour is 'normalised' for them or if it only occurs if they are off their face? Your friend's decision not to want to talk should be respected.

If you value the friendship but hate the behaviour, wait until your friend is in a calm state and tell them that being verbally abusive to you is unacceptable. Tell them you want them to stop this behaviour and tell them how it makes you feel, and then see if matters improve. If matters don't improve - stay away from them.

No one should be made to feel they are treading on eggshells. You set your own bar here - if you allow them to continue with this behaviour you are being an 'enabler' and then there is no point complaining about their behaviour because you don't want to do anything about it? Your friend needs to know you are serious when you say you don't like their language and stay away if they don't change. It sounds like your friend doesn't want to change. That is sad because if you deliberately continue doing something toward someone knowing that causes them distress, then they have no respect for you.

It is up to your friend to decide to respect you. That is their choice. If they don't respect you I would suggest they are not your friend, they are an 'abuser' But you have a choice to respect yourself. If you don't respect yourself no one else will. There has to be a consequence for someone who doesn't care about how they conduct themselves by their language or behaviour and that is selfishly causing distress to you. Get out of there.