The Student Room Group

Muslim girl who is unsure if she wants to wear hijab

Hi there I am a 17 year old Muslim who prays daily and tries to be a good Muslim but lately my mind since beginning prayer has been on the hijab and I am unsure if it’s a sign for me to close and cover up as I know the importance of it. However, I am unsure if I would be able to stick to it as I know the importance and how the hijab isn’t an accessory so would want to take it seriously if I choose to cover up. Does anyone have any help. I would love if any Muslim would be open to also mentoring me and helping me get stronger with my deen if there’s anyone caring enough for this. As I said I am not a hijabi at the moment but am unsure if I want to as well as my whole family we are Muslims and my mum is a hijabi but none of my siblings are and I feel like it could also be the pressure of if I close now I was not closed before so people would talk and I don’t know generally so am looking for help and some advice :smile:
Reply 1
Original post by Hailey629
Hi there I am a 17 year old Muslim who prays daily and tries to be a good Muslim but lately my mind since beginning prayer has been on the hijab and I am unsure if it’s a sign for me to close and cover up as I know the importance of it. However, I am unsure if I would be able to stick to it as I know the importance and how the hijab isn’t an accessory so would want to take it seriously if I choose to cover up. Does anyone have any help. I would love if any Muslim would be open to also mentoring me and helping me get stronger with my deen if there’s anyone caring enough for this. As I said I am not a hijabi at the moment but am unsure if I want to as well as my whole family we are Muslims and my mum is a hijabi but none of my siblings are and I feel like it could also be the pressure of if I close now I was not closed before so people would talk and I don’t know generally so am looking for help and some advice :smile:

Hey, I’ve been wearing hijab my whole life so I can’t really give advice on how the transition will be like. But what I want to say is that the fact you are considering it and wanting to do it after you’ve begun to get closer to the Deen just shows you that it’s the natural next step. Any struggles that come as a result of wearing hijab, just know that God will literally reward you even more for your struggles.

Good luck!
Original post by Hailey629
Hi there I am a 17 year old Muslim who prays daily and tries to be a good Muslim but lately my mind since beginning prayer has been on the hijab and I am unsure if it’s a sign for me to close and cover up as I know the importance of it. However, I am unsure if I would be able to stick to it as I know the importance and how the hijab isn’t an accessory so would want to take it seriously if I choose to cover up. Does anyone have any help. I would love if any Muslim would be open to also mentoring me and helping me get stronger with my deen if there’s anyone caring enough for this. As I said I am not a hijabi at the moment but am unsure if I want to as well as my whole family we are Muslims and my mum is a hijabi but none of my siblings are and I feel like it could also be the pressure of if I close now I was not closed before so people would talk and I don’t know generally so am looking for help and some advice :smile:

Hey there! That's so great that you're trying to be a good Muslim and considering wearing the hijab. May Allah reward you.

The fact that it's been on your mind recently means it probably is a sign and since you understand the importance of it I don't need to explain that to you or tell you that it's fardh. You mentioned that you're unsure if you would be able to stick with it and that makes sense - it's a big decision to make and it's not always easy being a hijabi, especially when you see so many pretty girls out in public or online without the hijab and you feel like you would look better without it too, but remember that is your test. The whole point of the hijab is to obey God and represent your faith by concealing your beauty.

It can be even harder when you don't have friends/family who already wear the hijab as it makes you feel like the 'odd one out' in a sense but that's okay. I would suggest trying to make hijabi friends if you don't already have some (you can go to the mosque for this, or even just girls you see at school) because it will make you feel more like you're part of a group so it will be less intimidating. Also try talking to your mum about it and maybe ask her for tips on how to make the transition easier.

Another thing you can do is to watch hijab tutorials online and practise following them and trying different materials (e.g. chiffon, cotton, jersey) to see what styles/materials suit you best. I don't know if you have TikTok but there's a hijabi influencer on there called Maryam who posts a lot of great tutorials for different situations - she also posts modesty content in general, like modest dresses and abayas. I'll find her page and link it below. (If you don't have TikTok though her vids should be on YouTube/Pinterest too, or you can always find other hijabi tutorials). If the idea of switching to abayas is uncomfortable for you though please remember that that's not the only definition of modesty - as long as you're covering your awrah in a respectful manner (whether that's in Western clothes or your cultural clothes) then that's fine too.

Finally - and the most important part of all - make lots of dua. Constantly pray to Allah SWT, talk to Him about this, tell him your intentions and your fears and ask Him to make it easier for you and to keep your intentions pure and you steadfast in your deen. He already knows everything you're going through but tell Him everything anyways, treat Him like your best friend because He is and He will help you.

I think that's all I have to say on this matter, I hope this helps. Feel free to PM me and talk about this further if you want. I hope your hijab journey goes well! :smile:

Edit: Don't worry about how people might view you if you start wearing the hijab or if you start wearing it and then change your mind - remember, you're only doing it for yourself and for Allah SWT, not for other people. Definitely don't listen to the 'advice' of non-Muslims who are straight up encouraging you not to wear it at all because they do not understand the importance of the hijab in Islam, nor do they care for you or your akhirah. At the same time though, don't feel pressured by Muslims insisting you 'must wear it immediately or you will go to hell' as they probably don't understand that it can be difficult, or that rushing into it could cause you to stop wearing it completely in the future. Whatever you decide to do should be exactly that - your decision. Nobody has the right to force/pressure you into doing what you don't want to.

Also I strongly recommend you don't jump straight into wearing it full-time - get used to it slowly by incorporating it into different aspects your life, e.g. start by wearing it only when you visit the mosque and family members, then after a month or so whenever you go out and then after that to school until you get to the point where you're always wearing it whenever you leave the house/are in front of non-mahrams. That's how I did it and it made it a lot easier for me, especially since I had the encouragement of my extended family first, then the unbiased reactions of strangers before finally wearing it in front of the (mostly non-Muslim) people I already knew from school (to be fair though they didn't try to discourage me, they were just surprised and had lots of questions but if I had worn it to school immediately I may have been put off/uncomfortable because of it). Good luck sister!


https://www.tiktok.com/@maryxm.mx
(edited 11 months ago)
Reply 3
Always trust your gut instinct. :smile:
Listen to what your common sense is telling you and put your own future ambitions first.
Good luck!
Reply 4
Original post by Hailey629
Hi there I am a 17 year old Muslim who prays daily and tries to be a good Muslim but lately my mind since beginning prayer has been on the hijab and I am unsure if it’s a sign for me to close and cover up as I know the importance of it. However, I am unsure if I would be able to stick to it as I know the importance and how the hijab isn’t an accessory so would want to take it seriously if I choose to cover up. Does anyone have any help. I would love if any Muslim would be open to also mentoring me and helping me get stronger with my deen if there’s anyone caring enough for this. As I said I am not a hijabi at the moment but am unsure if I want to as well as my whole family we are Muslims and my mum is a hijabi but none of my siblings are and I feel like it could also be the pressure of if I close now I was not closed before so people would talk and I don’t know generally so am looking for help and some advice :smile:

Covering up correctly is an excellent way to increase your imaan and get stronger in your religion as the Prophet said (meaning): "Modesty and imaan (faith) are both linked, so if one is raised, the other rises" [Narrated by al-Haakim (1/22) and Abu Nu'aym (4/297) from the hadeeth of Ibn 'Umar, Authenticated by al-Haakim on the conditions of al-Bukhaari and Muslim, adh-Dhahabi and al-Albaani agreed with him]

Many people differ over what constitutes the correct hijaab so what we should do is refer back to the Qur'aan and the Sunnah. Shaykh al-Albaani wrote a beautiful book about the correct hijaab according to the Qur'aan and the Sunnah and it has been translated into English, al-hamdu lillaah. I really urge you to buy it so that you know the evidences and teach those around you. You can buy it here: https://darmakkah.co.uk/product/the-dress-code-for-the-muslim-women-by-imam-muhammad-nasir-al-din-al-bani/

In summary, the conditions of the hijaab are that it:
1. Should cover all the body (with the exception of undecorated hands and face, which is recommended but not obligatory)
2. Should not be an adornment in and of itself.
3. Should be thick and not transparent or see-through.
4. Should be loose.
5. Should not be perfumed.
6. Should not resemble the clothing of men.
7. Should not resemble the dress of disbelieving women.
8. Should not be a garment of fame and vanity.
Reply 5
Original post by Hailey629
Hi there I am a 17 year old Muslim who prays daily and tries to be a good Muslim but lately my mind since beginning prayer has been on the hijab and I am unsure if it’s a sign for me to close and cover up as I know the importance of it. However, I am unsure if I would be able to stick to it as I know the importance and how the hijab isn’t an accessory so would want to take it seriously if I choose to cover up. Does anyone have any help. I would love if any Muslim would be open to also mentoring me and helping me get stronger with my deen if there’s anyone caring enough for this. As I said I am not a hijabi at the moment but am unsure if I want to as well as my whole family we are Muslims and my mum is a hijabi but none of my siblings are and I feel like it could also be the pressure of if I close now I was not closed before so people would talk and I don’t know generally so am looking for help and some advice :smile:

I know of a very good friend who transitioned to wearing a hijab, some of her reasons.

1) She believed in God and desired to get closer to him
2) She had muslim and christian family but chose to become a muslim as it made more sense to her.
3) She learned that in islam a hijab is mandatory so she didnt want to risk not wearing it then being questioned after death
4) She desired her Gods satisfaction more than her satisfaction in this world
5) She learned that exposing her beauty is attracting lustful thoughts of males and didnt want that to be on her shoulders
6) She disagreed with modern liberalism
8) She saw that not wearing hijab was a worldly desire so that she can expose her beauty, gain respect from non muslims, do what non muslims do etc…

Im sure she had more reasons but those are some I remember. Also she didnt have support of her family, they were against it but she chose to wear it. Now they support her and she hasnt turned back
(edited 1 month ago)

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