Trouble finding friends at uni

Recently moved to uni in september and I'm finding myself simply spending every evening sat in my room on my own texting friends from home. It's not that I haven't been talking to some people but I just don't connect with them and all conversation feels stiff and forced. I'm pretty good at talking to people but I don't feel like at this stage people will take kindly to me randomly walking up to them and starting conversation.

Reply 1

Autumn223

University works a little differently to college/ sixth form, its a lot less cliquey and people are normally more accepting to new friends, so don’t be put off talking to new people over worries they already have a group.
Loads of 1st years struggle with the move too, it can be a huge change to many, and there will be people who feel the same way as you.
Id suggest checking out your Uni’s resources, by that i mean check out societies but also check to see if your uni offers wellbeing, they will be able to give you some in person support which you may find comforting right now.

Really am wishing you the best!

Reply 2

helen2020

That's got to be difficult. What about your flat mates?Anyone there that appeals? its hard but is there anyone on your course that you could strike up a conversation with. Lots of people are going to be in the same position and will be keen to make friends. There are always clubs and societies run by the uni and they are not always the traditional ones. Sometimes they are quite obscure. Have a look if anything appeals. At least then you may meet more like-minded people. Dont give up- you will get there.

Reply 3

BCU Student Rep

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous #1

Hi there!

This is a completely normal feeling, and it can feel awkward or overwhelming to start new friendships at uni, but the more interactions you have with new people, the more likely you are to stat finding people you gel best with. Some of my closest friends at uni, I didn't meet until the end of first year, and even the first few times we met we only said hi in our lectures or asked each other questions about the work. So a bit pf patience is good.

But also, joining a society like the above comment suggests is a great idea! This is great to find people who have similar interests to you, and it makes the initial interaction a bit less awkward and intimidating as you have something already to chat about.

Try not to put too much pressure on making friendships and fitting into friendship groups. If you try to make conversation with people and they don't seem very responsive back, don't let it put you off trying again or talking to other people. As there will definitely be other students out there who will feel like the right fit for you.

I hope this helps and best of luck!
Emily 🙂

Reply 4

SOAS Student Rep

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous #1

Hi, I'm sorry that it's been like this so far. I understand that convos can feel awkward and forced but the more times you converse with people, the easier it gets. It's definitely worth going to society events and even in your lectures and classes trying to make conversation and speaking to new people. Sometimes going into a conversation with an open-mind and not forcing friendship really helps too! You'll definitely find your friends, initially it is really challenging but don't give up!