The Student Room Group

He plans dates but doesn't message in-between dates. HELP!

Hi,

I matched with a man on hinge and he was sending frequent messages before the first date. The first date then came and we had such a great time that we snogged. He told me he was going abroad for 6 days, so I told him to not message him and to enjoy his holiday.

Ever since he has come back, we have met up twice after and he messages so much less in between dates. I wish I never even said to not message me whilst he was on holiday....

On the third date I told him, that him messaging me less gave me mixed signals. The third date went really well again and he said he will message me more frequent.

However after the third date, he still messages way less than before. I am going to see him tomorrow for our fourth date how can I bring this up without making him think I am clingy.

If there was a sixth love language it really would be communication.

I am a 26 year old female and he is a 26 year old male and he is so super wonderful in person, just a shame the messaging declined over time.

can any men here please be so kind and help me on how to word this to him, so he understands fron my perspective because I am sending lots of messages and it feels very one-sided. I really like him and I find it hard to date someone who won't hold a fluid conversation on Whatsapp... :frown:

Thank you so much in advance!
Original post by Anonymous
...how can I bring this up without making him think I am clingy.

But surely you must realise that you are being clingy?! How long ago was your third date, when "he said he will message me more frequent"? And how many messages have you exchanged in that time (which you consider to be insufficient).

Original post by Anonymous
...I find it hard to date someone who won't hold a fluid conversation on Whatsapp... :frown:

Unfortunately, that isn't this guy. So if fluid WhatsApp conversations are what you're looking for, then you're going to need to let this guy go and keep searching.
Reply 2
Never settle for second best.
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous #1
Hi,
I matched with a man on hinge and he was sending frequent messages before the first date. The first date then came and we had such a great time that we snogged. He told me he was going abroad for 6 days, so I told him to not message him and to enjoy his holiday.
Ever since he has come back, we have met up twice after and he messages so much less in between dates. I wish I never even said to not message me whilst he was on holiday....
On the third date I told him, that him messaging me less gave me mixed signals. The third date went really well again and he said he will message me more frequent.
However after the third date, he still messages way less than before. I am going to see him tomorrow for our fourth date how can I bring this up without making him think I am clingy.
If there was a sixth love language it really would be communication.
I am a 26 year old female and he is a 26 year old male and he is so super wonderful in person, just a shame the messaging declined over time.
can any men here please be so kind and help me on how to word this to him, so he understands fron my perspective because I am sending lots of messages and it feels very one-sided. I really like him and I find it hard to date someone who won't hold a fluid conversation on Whatsapp... :frown:
Thank you so much in advance!
I'd rather have a guy who was great in person and took me on dates than someone who endlessly messaged but gradually lost interest which seems a common pattern.Why don't you stop the messaging and see how it goes irl
Reply 4
Communication doesn't need to be defined as a 'love language', it's a normal and important part of a relationship!

That said, what's your definition of 'more' and 'less' messages; what he's doing may be acceptable to most people? What are you sending; anything that's a priority or just general chit-chat?

Anyway, WhatsApp isn't a place for fluid conversations; phone calls and dates are. If you can talk comfortably when you're together, what's the issue? If you get into a relationship it's not on the strength of how he messages.

Quick Reply