I'm jealous of my (rich?) best friend.

Jealousy is the worst thing for there to be in a friendship.

Why on earth would you want to improve yourself just so she can envy you? Grow up.

I'm trying to be grown up by admitting my feelings. I asked for advice.

"I know it's really pathetic and mean, but it's made me want to do something to improve myself, just so she can envy me."

If you know it's pathetic and mean then surely that gives you your answer. She's your friend. Don't be jealous of her, be happy for her. When my friends achieve something, I'm happy for them. That's part of being friends.

If you can't be happy for her then you're not her friend.

I'm trying to be grown up by admitting my feelings. I asked for advice.

Whilst I understand you, some things are easier said than done. I want to know how not to be jealous. I hate being jealous of her for being better than me.

There's your problem.

Your friend is not better than you. You are not inferior to anyone. In order to stop feeling jealous you need to realise this.

You also need to realise that being jealous solves absolutely nothing. Being jealous will not bring you wealth nor pretty clothes and jewellery that you say your friend is buying.

And that's fine. Because there is more to life than material goods. MUCH more. You're 16 so you have time to realise this but I hope you can start realising it now. Some people don't have the most basic of things, so to be jealous of your friend for things she has is silly.

I used to be a jealous person. Not of material goods, but I used to be jealous of friends who had boyfriends and got tons of male attention because it made me feel like ****. But then I started to realise that jealousy wasn't helping at all, in fact it just made me more bitter. I also learned that being single wasn't so a bad thing, and that my happiness shouldn't depend on male attention. So I learned to stop being jealous and became happier with who I was and what I had.

For example, say if there is something I really really want, she will think "oh that's nice" and buy it. Simple as.

This kinda situation sort of happened to me. But she was just better than me at everything. I hated myself for being jealous but it was just how i felt. I was too close to her, she sparked me to have low self esteem as i was always no.2. Listen to yourself, ' Its made me do something to improve myself, just so she can envy me'. This close friendship is obviously bringing out the worst in you as it did to me. To be honest, i would just try to distance yourself from her for a while, she's got a good opportunity with her job yes, but it doesn't mean you can't as well in time. Everyone is different so don't compare yourself to her.

Take a breather and chat to other friends

I'm not guaranteeing you anything here, but your friend could be addicted to shopping if she's that impulsive. A shopping addiction will usually make people unhappy as they'll later realise they bought a bunch of things they don't need and now have no money after working for several months. I would be surprised if she didn't feel regretful after doing that. Think of it this way, she's a victim of marketing and has pretty much given her money away. Is that something to be jealous of? The average person reports work is the most unfulfilling part of their lives. Your friend has something you don't have, but has what millions of people do have.
So if you could put that into perspective you should lose your feelings of jealousy.

Btw sorry you've gotten some poor replies. I would definitely say you're more grown up than that user Carpe.

why dont you get your own job? i know people will say 'oh there arent any' but i went into town today and applied for 3 where thry had job vacancies. you just have to get out there and look!

We are both 16. She has got a job in shop that a family member runs. She will be making lots of money - probably over a £1000 in the summer holidays. It's making me really jealous, and I hate to admit it, but I don't feel happy for her. I do appreciate what I have, but I just feel jealous that she will be buying lots of lovely things. For example, say if there is something I really really want, she will think "oh that's nice" and buy it. Simple as. I know it's materialistic but also knowing she will want all these days out and trips as she can afford it, yet I will have to decline. Plus, I will be getting a bus pass so I can't exactly decline a shopping trip because of lack of bus fare. How can I get over this jealously of her making loads of money? I know it's really pathetic and mean, but it's made me want to do something to improve myself, just so she can envy me.

Didums.