My boss lied to me.

It was a major lie, about a professional issue. I understand why he did it, and I accept the outcome was reasonable, but I feel hurt that he doesn't respect my intelligence enough to be honest. Also, two of my close friends were involved in discussing it with him, and they didn't tell me. I guess I just feel humiliated that they all talked about it, as if I was a kid who could be fed some line rather than treated like a mature adult. None of them know I know.

This was several months ago, and there's no way I'm going to mention it. My boss has been really nice to me ever since - he is leaving soon, and he even (without prompting) gave me a forwarding e-mail address so that he could (in his own words) write a really good reference.

I know when to keep my mouth shut. I just wanted to vent a little on here, and see what people's opinions were.

Reply 1

Phoebe Buffay

19

What did he do? Come on don't leave us hanging

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Phoebe Buffay

What did he do? Come on don't leave us hanging

I really can't discuss it on the internet, but it was basically saying I wasn't eligible for something when I was.

Reply 3

Phoebe Buffay

19

Original post by Anonymous

I really can't discuss it on the internet, but it was basically saying I wasn't eligible for something when I was.

Was it employee of the year

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Phoebe Buffay

Was it employee of the year

No.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Mods, could you delete this thread? I can see this was pointless.

Reply 6

MaseratiJay

12

Oh come on OP it's only been 26 minutes, don't give up...

Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by MaseratiJay

Oh come on OP it's only been 26 minutes, don't give up...

Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?

Thanks. I don't mind either way, to be honest - if anyone wants to comment.

I know my OP probably comes across as childish and whiney (which is why I said delete it), it's just that I have to work with these people. I suppose I'm interested in how to react in the future. I feel like I did the right thing to ignore it, but I don't want to spend my life as a pushover.

Reply 8

MaseratiJay

12

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks. I don't mind either way, to be honest - if anyone wants to comment.

I know my OP probably comes across as childish and whiney (which is why I said delete it), it's just that I have to work with these people. I suppose I'm interested in how to react in the future. I feel like I did the right thing to ignore it, but I don't want to spend my life as a pushover.

It's all good, we're human we have emotions.

I mean I have no clue what happened, I can't even guess...

But in future you've said you don't want to be a pushover so if you can see someone is taking advantage or they're just being out of order definitely step in there and then and address the situation.

Or if people are discussing personal matters when they shouldn't be either confront them or make a complaint.

Do what ever you need to do to feel happy in the situation. Don't think you're being rude/whiney/childish - if it upsets you you have to sort it out.

Reply 9

Da Di Doo

19

Original post by Anonymous

It was a major lie, about a professional issue. I understand why he did it, and I accept the outcome was reasonable, but I feel hurt that he doesn't respect my intelligence enough to be honest. Also, two of my close friends were involved in discussing it with him, and they didn't tell me. I guess I just feel humiliated that they all talked about it, as if I was a kid who could be fed some line rather than treated like a mature adult. None of them know I know.

This was several months ago, and there's no way I'm going to mention it. My boss has been really nice to me ever since - he is leaving soon, and he even (without prompting) gave me a forwarding e-mail address so that he could (in his own words) write a really good reference.

I know when to keep my mouth shut. I just wanted to vent a little on here, and see what people's opinions were.

We will all rep you if you tell us.

Reply 10

suchusernamewow

Nah, you're not being whiny, it's normal to be bugged by having your trust betrayed or your capabilty called into question. Especially when you know you deserve more.

The contrast between what they're usually like and what they did/kept hidden must be jarring. Still, don't let it get you too down... you're still in good standing with your boss (that recommendation thing is more than some people can say) and it's not like you've lost your friendships.

Still, you might want to be careful how much trust you put in those guys in the future. Don't grow resentful -- it's fine to stay friends with these guys, because work will be easier and more fun if you're on good terms -- but now that you've got a better idea of how much you can trust them you'll know what precautions you might need to take in the future.

Reply 11

Simes

16

Original post by Anonymous

he even (without prompting) gave me a forwarding e-mail address so that he could (in his own words) write a really good reference.

I know when to keep my mouth shut.

Yeah, this sounds like one of those times you bite your tongue, smile, think "b*****d", and say "Thanks, I'd appreciate the reference". Play the game.

Original post by Anonymous

I just wanted to vent a little on here, and see what people's opinions were.

Read Dilbert cartoons.

When I started reading the books with the commentary, discovering that all the Dilbert ideas come from suggestions from real people's experiences, I realised:
- it's not just me;
- Scott Adams isn't spying on me;
- everyone else's workplace is just as bad or worse;
- working for someone else is crap.