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He got back with his ex but still contacts me?

Mj2014

Hey,
I was seeing a guy for about two months. He had split up from his ex a month before and was completely honest about it. I told him we shouldn't get intimate because I didn't want to get myself hurt, as I didn't know what would happen.

After this, he came on even stronger and assured me that he wasn't getting back with his ex, as the damage was done. He drew me in and I ended up losing my virginity to him.

Yesterday he called and told me that he was going away for the night with his ex. I didn't show that I was upset and just said "oh right, I suppose you've worked thins kit?" He said it was complicated and didn't want to get into it. But he'd also asked me out for dinner in a few days. I won't go, as I am very hurt.

How do I deal with this situation and the emotional pain? It's very heartbreaking.

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Reply 1

Alexion

Original post by Mj2014

He said it was complicated and didn't want to get into it.

It's odd that he told you and then still had the balls to ask you out for dinner.

Get him to explain the situation. It's not like he's really hiding anything, but it's definitely worth getting his viewpoint on it all. I can see why it's hurt you so bad as the obvious conclusion is indeed that he's back with her, or at least done something with her.

Reply 2

tpxvs

Oh no. *virtual hug*

I think its good that you played it cool (well better than the alternative). But I think you should think of yourself too and if you're 'heartbreaking' what have you got to lose? Maybe in this situation, wearing your heart on your sleeve is the best option. Tell him everything, see what he has to say. Obviously for your sake I hope he picks you. But if it doesnt turn out that way, don't try and persuade him to change his mind. Walk away. Never turn back. Life is full of (emotionally challenging) lessons eh..

edit: Just read above comment (by Alexion) which made me think, surely if he has the balls to ask you out for dinner the situation may not be as you first imagine? We don't know the full circumstances. Maybe it was an innocent night.. perhaps with a big group or families involved or innocent in another way etc Maybe he does want to be with you but the situation is complicated with the ex? Go for dinner / meet up with him and hear him out. If then nothing comes out of it/ it doesnt look hopeful then what I said earlier applies

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 3

samina_ay

You have every right to burn his house down but that's illegal. What a horrible person - just know that you deserve better and show him the door when he comes running back to you. Xx

Reply 4

Mj2014

Original post by samina_ay

You have every right to burn his house down but that's illegal. What a horrible person - just know that you deserve better and show him the door when he comes running back to you. Xx

He called me today but I ignored the call. He left a voicemail saying he was just calling to see how I was and to give him a call back when I can. I don't know what to do. Clearly he still wants to be friends.

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Reply 5

samina_ay

Original post by Mj2014

You don't be friends with someone who broke you xx

Reply 6

tinkerbelle2

Oh God, that sounds so similar to something that happened to me a few years ago! It also lasted about two months and he'd been split from his ex for a month and insisted it was over (it wasn't over in my case and they got back together). I think you need to be very careful here, you already seem to like him a lot and it sounds like at the moment he has his eggs in two baskets. There's obviously some unfinished business there and maybe it is too soon for him to be jumping into something new. If he's serious about moving forward with you he can't really keep seeing her. The fact they spent the night together is dodgy. I'm not saying he cut off all ties completely because I know a lot of ex's do like to stay in touch these days. But if you're going to progress, you need to be able to trust him. Sorry to hear you're hurting right now. *hugs*

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