boyfriend hardly compliments me.... :/ i feel so insecure
i've been going out with him for a year.
during the first few months of our relationship i noticed that he would also compliment other girls on instagram.. some of the girls are his friends.
i never confronted him about it though.
anyway, i was just stalking his social media accounts and saw that in the past with his ex-girlfriends he would comment on their pics and say really nice things.
but he doesn't do that much with me.. :/ he calls me pretty every now and then but that's about it..
it kind of upsets me.. makes me feel as though i'm not as pretty as his ex's.
i told him about 2 months ago in a jokey way that he hardly ever compliments me, and he told me that he's **** at giving compliments... well he clearly isn't after the comments i've seen on his friends and ex's pictures -__-
at times i feel as though he is using me until he finds someone he actually wants to be with...
what should i do???? x
during the first few months of our relationship i noticed that he would also compliment other girls on instagram.. some of the girls are his friends.
i never confronted him about it though.
anyway, i was just stalking his social media accounts and saw that in the past with his ex-girlfriends he would comment on their pics and say really nice things.
but he doesn't do that much with me.. :/ he calls me pretty every now and then but that's about it..
it kind of upsets me.. makes me feel as though i'm not as pretty as his ex's.
i told him about 2 months ago in a jokey way that he hardly ever compliments me, and he told me that he's **** at giving compliments... well he clearly isn't after the comments i've seen on his friends and ex's pictures -__-
at times i feel as though he is using me until he finds someone he actually wants to be with...
what should i do???? x
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confront him over it. best thing is any relationship is honesty
tell him how it really makes you feel, see if there is a change. if there isn't chuck him
yeah thats right, i'm being that straightforward, why not? dump him if he doesn't change. think he'll get better or something? if this is him now this is how he'll always be sadly
tell him how it really makes you feel, see if there is a change. if there isn't chuck him
yeah thats right, i'm being that straightforward, why not? dump him if he doesn't change. think he'll get better or something? if this is him now this is how he'll always be sadly
i feel like my bf is just with me until he finds someone better and his ex is prettier than me 
Original post by Allie4
confront him over it. best thing is any relationship is honesty
tell him how it really makes you feel, see if there is a change. if there isn't chuck him
yeah thats right, i'm being that straightforward, why not? dump him if he doesn't change. think he'll get better or something? if this is him now this is how he'll always be sadly
tell him how it really makes you feel, see if there is a change. if there isn't chuck him
yeah thats right, i'm being that straightforward, why not? dump him if he doesn't change. think he'll get better or something? if this is him now this is how he'll always be sadly
i already kind of have confronted him..
i dunno, maybe we just have a different relationship. i cringe a lot and i'm not very girly compared to his other girlfriends.. i don't dress up as much as they do. maybe that's why he doesn't compliment me as much..
:/
Original post by uglyslut
i feel like my bf is just with me until he finds someone better and his ex is prettier than me
uglyslut?
Original post by uglyslut
i feel like my bf is just with me until he finds someone better and his ex is prettier than me
Name to post correlation is through the roof!
Can you just talk to him properly please?
I'm not sure how old you are and really I'm not bothered..no matter what age you are if you are in a relationship you need to communicate properly. I don't know why everyone has issues and brings things up in a 'jokey way'. If it means so much to you then you need to communicate this. If he doesn't make you feel valued (after you talk to him) then you need to consider your options.
You are in a team. You are meant to feel better and be a better person.
If you are there thinking you'd be better off single and happier..then you need to either leave him or get him to sort it out!
No point staying with someone just for the sake of it..especially if it's to the point where you find yourself seeking help because you're clearly quite upset.
I hope it goes well OP.
I'm not sure how old you are and really I'm not bothered..no matter what age you are if you are in a relationship you need to communicate properly. I don't know why everyone has issues and brings things up in a 'jokey way'. If it means so much to you then you need to communicate this. If he doesn't make you feel valued (after you talk to him) then you need to consider your options.
You are in a team. You are meant to feel better and be a better person.
If you are there thinking you'd be better off single and happier..then you need to either leave him or get him to sort it out!
No point staying with someone just for the sake of it..especially if it's to the point where you find yourself seeking help because you're clearly quite upset.
I hope it goes well OP.
You need to talk to him properly, but there sounds like there is a lack of trust here for starters then again it seems he is also taking you for granted.
Original post by booyahkasha
i already kind of have confronted him..
i dunno, maybe we just have a different relationship. i cringe a lot and i'm not very girly compared to his other girlfriends.. i don't dress up as much as they do. maybe that's why he doesn't compliment me as much..
:/
i dunno, maybe we just have a different relationship. i cringe a lot and i'm not very girly compared to his other girlfriends.. i don't dress up as much as they do. maybe that's why he doesn't compliment me as much..
:/
aww but still if he loves you then he would compliment you no matter what you look like. bottom line is you are unhappy and when you are feeling unhappy with someone thats when you know its time to go...
Original post by MaseratiJay
Can you just talk to him properly please?
I'm not sure how old you are and really I'm not bothered..no matter what age you are if you are in a relationship you need to communicate properly. I don't know why everyone has issues and brings things up in a 'jokey way'. If it means so much to you then you need to communicate this. If he doesn't make you feel valued (after you talk to him) then you need to consider your options.
You are in a team. You are meant to feel better and be a better person.
If you are there thinking you'd be better off single and happier..then you need to either leave him or get him to sort it out!
No point staying with someone just for the sake of it..especially if it's to the point where you find yourself seeking help because you're clearly quite upset.
I hope it goes well OP.
I'm not sure how old you are and really I'm not bothered..no matter what age you are if you are in a relationship you need to communicate properly. I don't know why everyone has issues and brings things up in a 'jokey way'. If it means so much to you then you need to communicate this. If he doesn't make you feel valued (after you talk to him) then you need to consider your options.
You are in a team. You are meant to feel better and be a better person.
If you are there thinking you'd be better off single and happier..then you need to either leave him or get him to sort it out!
No point staying with someone just for the sake of it..especially if it's to the point where you find yourself seeking help because you're clearly quite upset.
I hope it goes well OP.
It's a weird relationship.. we've been going out for a year but we've never actually defined our relationship. we're very private. i haven't introduced him to my friends and he hasn't introduced me to his friends. :/
i really don't know what to do or say to him.
i like him, but i feel as though he just uses me for sex at times. Every time we meet up we always do something sexually related. i guess that's all my fault.
We both dislike confrontation, so i don't really know how to bring these topics up with him.
i'm so confused and depressed.
Original post by Allie4
aww but still if he loves you then he would compliment you no matter what you look like. bottom line is you are unhappy and when you are feeling unhappy with someone thats when you know its time to go...
i don't think he loves me tbh. he's so confusing. i don't know what to do.
hahaha i hope so
Talk to him. Wouldnt you find it boring if he complimented you all the time ? I suppose he's your partner. But how would you feel ?
Original post by uglyslut
i feel like my bf is just with me until he finds someone better and his ex is prettier than me
Your username depresses me
Talk dont confront.
He should be receiptive. I would have said some bits arent good or it doesnt come easily, but he doesnt have that problem with others.
Imo I think your instincts are right. He could if he wnated to but he doesnt expend the effort, so he's not that bothered. It shouldnt be forced.
I would start preparing in your own mind about findining someone more compatible. He doesnt had to have done anything wrong, juts not enough right. If the opportunity comes along then I expect him to jump as you dont seem that close. Hopefully thats not too pessimistic.
He should be receiptive. I would have said some bits arent good or it doesnt come easily, but he doesnt have that problem with others.
Imo I think your instincts are right. He could if he wnated to but he doesnt expend the effort, so he's not that bothered. It shouldnt be forced.
I would start preparing in your own mind about findining someone more compatible. He doesnt had to have done anything wrong, juts not enough right. If the opportunity comes along then I expect him to jump as you dont seem that close. Hopefully thats not too pessimistic.
Original post by redleader1
Talk to him. Wouldnt you find it boring if he complimented you all the time ? I suppose he's your partner. But how would you feel ?
i don't want him to compliment me all the time, i just don't understand why he complimented his ex's and friends more than me..
and he said nicer things to them, whereas the compliments he gives me are kinda boring
Original post by booyahkasha
i don't think he loves me tbh. he's so confusing. i don't know what to do.
Leave him then! No love, no respect.... what exactly is keeping you there?
Stop doing this to yourself. I think the realisation hasn't hit you yet that you only have ONE life, just ONE. When your chance is over, its over.
So you can either spend this one life dithering away with a guy who doesn't complete you or you can dump him and try and find one that does. Better to be alone than settle for someone who is making you do this - feel down and spend your days QUESTIONING what to do.
LEAVE! Go on girl, you can do it!!
Original post by booyahkasha
It's a weird relationship.. we've been going out for a year but we've never actually defined our relationship. we're very private. i haven't introduced him to my friends and he hasn't introduced me to his friends. :/
i really don't know what to do or say to him.
i like him, but i feel as though he just uses me for sex at times. Every time we meet up we always do something sexually related. i guess that's all my fault.
We both dislike confrontation, so i don't really know how to bring these topics up with him.
i'm so confused and depressed.
i really don't know what to do or say to him.
i like him, but i feel as though he just uses me for sex at times. Every time we meet up we always do something sexually related. i guess that's all my fault.
We both dislike confrontation, so i don't really know how to bring these topics up with him.
i'm so confused and depressed.
Don't blame yourself!
It depends on what you want to do, do you know him enough to start a relationship?
I mean if he's just using you then you really need to speak up. He may either be an idiot or he may think it's what you want as well (because you haven't said)
but after so long I'd like to think that you would have spoken about it? Or introduced either other to friends.
I know you're hurting so please forgive me but do you think maybe you and him might just be friends with benefits? Is that okay with you or?
and again please don't think I'm trying to be funny because I genuinely want to help and there's no other way of me asking
x
Original post by MaseratiJay
Don't blame yourself!
It depends on what you want to do, do you know him enough to start a relationship?
I mean if he's just using you then you really need to speak up. He may either be an idiot or he may think it's what you want as well (because you haven't said)
but after so long I'd like to think that you would have spoken about it? Or introduced either other to friends.
I know you're hurting so please forgive me but do you think maybe you and him might just be friends with benefits? Is that okay with you or?
and again please don't think I'm trying to be funny because I genuinely want to help and there's no other way of me asking
x
It depends on what you want to do, do you know him enough to start a relationship?
I mean if he's just using you then you really need to speak up. He may either be an idiot or he may think it's what you want as well (because you haven't said)
but after so long I'd like to think that you would have spoken about it? Or introduced either other to friends.
I know you're hurting so please forgive me but do you think maybe you and him might just be friends with benefits? Is that okay with you or?
and again please don't think I'm trying to be funny because I genuinely want to help and there's no other way of me asking
x
sorry about the late reply!
I asked him about 5 months ago what exactly are we doing.. and whether we are friends with benefits. he replied saying we can be whatever you want us to be.... :/
so i just said, i'm not looking for anything serious either. i'm so stupid.
he clearly doesn't want a relationship with me, and i'm not even sure i want one with him. i don't know why i keep letting him use me.
recently every time we meet up we either book a hotel or go to his friends' apartment.
earlier on in our 'relationship' we used to go cinema or go for a coffee/lunch, but recently it's all about booking hotels etc.
i understand he's stressed out atm, he's got an exam coming up and he has a full time job, and he isn't exactly rich. so i don't mind not going out to fancy places, i like chilling with him, i just wish it wasn't always about sex.
it is all my fault though. i'm too easy.
Definitely don't blame yourself!
If the lines are blurred it's very easy to get caught up in the moment and only think about it afterwards.
Forget about him and his exams, think about where you want this to go and take action!
If you think he's using you run away and never look back.. if it's the case that you two haven't really discussed anything properly or there's been poor communication then you can try to resolve that and move forward in whatever way you wish when you come to a mutual decision
If the lines are blurred it's very easy to get caught up in the moment and only think about it afterwards.
Forget about him and his exams, think about where you want this to go and take action!
If you think he's using you run away and never look back.. if it's the case that you two haven't really discussed anything properly or there's been poor communication then you can try to resolve that and move forward in whatever way you wish when you come to a mutual decision
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