Manipulative boyfriend left me, but I want him back?

I felt much better yesterday. I sent him a huge text saying how I felt which he ignored. Later on saw him in a club and he was out with girls he previously slept with, laughed in my face and proceeded to get with someone in front of me. Then when I tried to approach him he ran away and it was evident he *****ed about me to everyone he was out with and screamed how he was so single and continued laughing. I never felt so humiliated in my life so I left in tears.

I messaged him when drunk just saying thanks for making me feel so awful about myself and fine if you want to get with people go ahead I no longer care about it. And he just replied saying "lol you changed your mind fast".

I have his things which I was going to nicely return and use as an excuse to chat but I just want to throw it all away and forget it ever existed. I can't stand how he made me feel and ruined my first night with my new friends and I just feel so horrible

Put all his things in a bin bag or box and have them delivered to his house.
Cut all contact with him (you arent at the moment).
Things will get better the longer the period of no contact and the more you move on. Your relationship sounded really rubbish, miserable and a mess, so its crazy to want to go back to that. Why not enjoy being on your own, increase your confidence and then look for someone who treats you well and makes you happy. Your behaviour thus far makes you a prime candidate for being manipulated and abused.

I know it probably makes no sense to anyone that I want him back. But I miss him so much and when he's being normal and a good boyfriend he does make me the happiest person ever. And maybe some of it is my fault and I deserve this and it wouldn't happen if I was a better girlfriend.. But he certainly doesn't give a **** and it's hard to watch him be so okay about everything when I'm in absolute pieces