is it okay for your best friend to date your ex

okay so me and my ex boyfreind are broken up now for like a month and have been together for 3 years. I'm still recovering and trying to move on.

however I just found out my ex boyfreind is dating my best friend. she didn't tell me. my other friend did. like was she planning this he whole time to go behind my back and date my ex boyfreind? I know I have no right to feel like this and I know she is not doing anything wrong but why do I feel so betrayed?

I don't speak to her anymore but I don't know how to deal with this. I am jealous and angry at the same time. my heart is broken. any advise on what could do?

Reply 1

TheGoodPharaoh

16

I would be annoyed too if my best friend did this, but I don't think there's too much you can do

Reply 2

TheSalman

10

I'd completely sever my friendship with my mate if he ever went out with an ex of mine.

I don't have an ex or any friends for that matter, but still. That's an ultimate form of disrespect, in my eyes anyway.

Reply 3

username1842595

6

I would be pissed off if my best friend went out with my ex, especially if she tried to behind my back. What a snake.

Cut ties with her and find more real friends. In time, this wont mean anything to you anymore.

Reply 4

kaiacalandra

Just ignore it completely. There is a reason why he is your EX boyfriend. Its time to move on and find a new guy. And if you are feeling really jealous like she stole something from you just remember that you dated him first and that she's getting him AFTER you. You've always got that over her. Most probably their relationship won't even last long. Hope this makes you feel better xx

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by kaiacalandra

Just ignore it completely. There is a reason why he is your EX boyfriend. Its time to move on and find a new guy. And if you are feeling really jealous like she stole something from you just remember that you dated him first and that she's getting him AFTER you. You've always got that over her. Most probably their relationship won't even last long. Hope this makes you feel better xx

that does make me feel a lot better. thank you xx

Reply 6

Arianax

20

NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO

Hope I've made myself clear.

Reply 7

TheGoodPharaoh

16

Original post by Ishax

NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO

Hope I've made myself clear.

Im sorry I didn't quite get that, can you say it again

Spoiler

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Ishax

NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO

Hope I've made myself clear.

erm what lool?

Reply 9

clonedmemories

16

You and your boyfriend have broken up. You have no say over what he can or cannot do. Your friend has her own autonomy. You have no say over what she can or cannot do. They are their own people and have every right to do as they wish with one another. You have every right to cut them out of your life as a result, but you have no ownership or claim over either of them. Grow up and live your life, and let them live theirs.

Reply 10

Arianax

20

Original post by Anonymous

erm what lool?

It's a complete betrayal for your best friend to date your ex boyfriend.

It's never acceptable. It's a straight cut out of my life. My ex boyfriend is mine regardless if we're not together. My best friend has no right to date him etc.

It's similar to my sister dating my ex. It's off limits.

Reply 11

username402722

19

Not if you are a Chelsea footballer

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by clonedmemories

You and your boyfriend have broken up. You have no say over what he can or cannot do. Your friend has her own autonomy. You have no say over what she can or cannot do. They are their own people and have every right to do as they wish with one another. You have every right to cut them out of your life as a result, but you have no ownership or claim over either of them. Grow up and live your life, and let them live theirs.

I never said i have say over what my ex and my "freind" can do. and this is about my friend. I am hurt that she went behind my back without even telling me. she didn't care about my feeling and couldn't care less if I was hurt. my and my ex were together for 3 years and that didn't even mean anything to her. I know at the end of the day she ain't doing anything wrong but,for me i thought our friendship was too important to her to hurt me like this. so she wasn't really a friend then was she?

Reply 13

clonedmemories

16

Original post by Anonymous

I never said i have say over what my ex and my "freind" can do. and this is about my friend. I am hurt that she went behind my back without even telling me. she didn't care about my feeling and couldn't care less if I was hurt. my and my ex were together for 3 years and that didn't even mean anything to her. I know at the end of the day she ain't doing anything wrong but,for me i thought our friendship was too important to her to hurt me like this. so she wasn't really a friend then was she?

She can choose not to tell you. That doesn't make it a good decision, nor one without consequences. But she made that choice herself, and all you can do is respond to it.

Reply 14

doodle_333

19

You should talk to your friend but I'd be inclined to say the friendship will probably end, that's pretty inconsiderate of her.

Reply 15

3121

21

No! And I say that from experience

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by clonedmemories

She can choose not to tell you. That doesn't make it a good decision, nor one without consequences. But she made that choice herself, and all you can do is respond to it.

how would you respond if you mind me asking? say you had a best friend for 10 years and she just started dating your ex you have just broken up with?

Reply 17

clonedmemories

16

Original post by Anonymous

how would you respond if you mind me asking? say you had a best friend for 10 years and she just started dating your ex you have just broken up with?

I'd be rather surprised, since I don't think any of my closest friends would be compatible with any of my ex-partners. But we're adults who can make these kind of choices. The relationship ended for a reason and I have enough self-worth and respect for the people closest to me in my life to get a grip on my own feelings and move onwards with my life. Maybe it does suck, but I can't let that get in the way of other people's lives.

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by clonedmemories

I'd be rather surprised, since I don't think any of my closest friends would be compatible with any of my ex-partners. But we're adults who can make these kind of choices. The relationship ended for a reason and I have enough self-worth and respect for the people closest to me in my life to get a grip on my own feelings and move onwards with my life. Maybe it does suck, but I can't let that get in the way of other people's lives.

okay that doesn't make me feel better but it makes me realize that I need to move on with my life and make better Freinds and learn from my mistakes 😔

Reply 19

MercilessUnicorn

5

Original post by Anonymous

how would you respond if you mind me asking? say you had a best friend for 10 years and she just started dating your ex you have just broken up with?

Ask her WHY she did it, maybe there is something going on that you don't know about. If she didn't tell you, maybe she just didn't want you to know and then feel hurt- like you do now. :smile:

is it okay for your best friend to date your ex

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