Being Muslim and gay

hold your tongue and try not to get angry. the only reason i didn't reply back to this person is because there are many people who won't open their minds to understand things, and no amount of words will get them to see reason. allah will help those who want to be helped, allah swt guides whomever he wills. refrain from insulting and getting angry, it's what fuels their fire and gives them even more reason to dislike islam.

Because we believe the one who practises such acts is committing a major sin which should be looked down upon and not promoted.

Because we believe the one who practises such acts is committing a major sin which should be looked down upon and not promoted.

i'm a muslim, and am still in the process of becoming firm in faith. it's been difficult, and i'll be honest - there was a stage in my life where i truly believed i was bisexual, and closeted. i guess i'm not, as if i was ever interested in a girl, it was only sexual fantasies.

i'll tell you honestly - it IS a test. probably one of the hardest ones from allah. my advice to you is to remain strong in your faith, and don't let this become too much for you. however controversial this might seem - i'm sure your feelings about women will change as time passes on. i suggest reading quran and understanding more about islam - it'll really open your mind and heal you spiritually, wallahi. all i can say to you is to pray to allah to guide you, and help you restrain and control your feelings. inshallah things get better. don't feel condemned because of your feelings - there are any people in the same position as you. don't let it drive you away from islam.

i know two girls who are bisexual and muslim, and unfortunately it seems like they've both turned away from islam, feeling attacked by other muslims and what people say about homosexuality. don't let that be you. the only advice i can give you, without making it seem like i'm condemning you and forcing you to be straight, is to pray to allah. he is all forgiving and the most merciful. and remember: no one is punished for their thoughts. allah swt does not punish anyone for thinking sinful things - it's human nature to have nafs. inshallah, you will be rewarded for your struggle.

I dont understand what you mean. Sorry

Thanks for your answer. I understand what you’re trying to say but I suppose having to deal with something for 21 years is a phenomenon that’s not going to change. The thing is that i am not bisexual. Cause that gives a much better choice. I have been thinking for years


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I am a practicing Muslim and I love my faith and tend to be good and do good as much as I can. I have been dealing with tough family problems for quite long along with another factor. I am gay and closeted. People say that it’s ones own choice. But how can it be if I felt like a girl since I was 2 or had my first crush when I was 4. Didn’t know what was happening until later. I have tried to abstain from everything but can’t anymore. I still force myself but am unable to. There is no one I can discuss this with. I am on mental health medication as well. People say it’s a test as I’ve read on discussions and one must try to curb desires. But those who are not going through it don’t know. Sometimes it’s as little as having someone to embrace. I would much appreciate a Muslim opinion as it means a lot to me.
Thanks

Hi there,

First of all, I wanted to let you know that I am really sorry you're going through this. I am not a religious person, so I may not be able to understand fully what you're going through and can't imagine how difficult this must be for you, but I do empathise with you and I understand how hard it is to struggle with your sexual/gender identity.

You've made it very clear that you've tried to repress these feelings and nothing has come of it. I, personally, have never heard of anyone managing to 'stop' being gay. Even people who go through conversion therapy have their feelings resurface over time in every examples I've read - and are then left literally traumatised from being put through this 'therapy' and have nothing to show for it. These feelings and attractions aren't going to go away - this is who you are and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

What you need to remember is that being Muslim and being gay are not mutually exclusive things. I may be speaking out of term here, so I sincerely apologise if I've misunderstood your (or anyone else's) faith, but from what I've read and experienced, Allah is a being of love! From excerpts I've found, time and time again, it is said that Allah loves those who love him and do good by others. Don't you think that an all-powerful and merciful being would want you to spread love by being yourself and settling down with someone you truly love, regardless of their gender? If you continue to bury your feelings, you'll only become resentful (particularly towards any female partners you may have), and this could lead to you hurting people because you are hurt.

You falling in love and being in a happy, compassionate relationship with a man hurts no one. Do you think Allah is going to focus on you being in a consenting gay relationship when there are people out there abusing, raping and murdering innocent people? You wanting to pursue a happy relationship is only a positive thing, and I think Allah would be proud of that.

And remember, you're not the only one feeling this way! I, personally, know three LGBT+ Muslims. They all still love Allah and are - in my opinion - good Muslims! You can find a community of gay Muslim people on Imaan (a community for LGBT Muslims in the UK). I'll pop the link here - imaanlondon.wordpress.com

Just a final note - you mentioned you have 'felt like a girl'. Is there any chance you could be transgender? It might be something to think about.

Again, I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I hope you find the best solution for you soon. If you ever need to talk about this, you're welcome to message me privately on here!

Good luck!

- Gee

this is a white washing of what Islam actually teaches. while I appreciate the kindness and the move to reform Islam to a more liberal Islam this is not a representation of what the vast (99%) of Muslims believe. it's a disrortation of reality and it stinks of white liberal privilege.

Hi!

I'm really sorry. I never intended for it to come across that way! I completely understand and recognize that I come from a place of privilege and I seriously apologize for speaking out of term.

I am aware that the way I portrayed Islam was unrealistic and idealistic, and I know how much a Muslim person can stand to lose in a situation like this (I have a friend going through this exact thing and it breaks my heart).

I noticed a lot of negativity (which is totally expected and understandable) in this thread and wanted to offer a positive thought, as well as coming from the perspective of an LGBT+ person (I'm trans).

Again, I'm sorry for speaking out of term, and it was never my intention to offend.

- Gee

Hi there,

First of all, I wanted to let you know that I am really sorry you're going through this. I am not a religious person, so I may not be able to understand fully what you're going through and can't imagine how difficult this must be for you, but I do empathise with you and I understand how hard it is to struggle with your sexual/gender identity.

You've made it very clear that you've tried to repress these feelings and nothing has come of it. I, personally, have never heard of anyone managing to 'stop' being gay. Even people who go through conversion therapy have their feelings resurface over time in every examples I've read - and are then left literally traumatised from being put through this 'therapy' and have nothing to show for it. These feelings and attractions aren't going to go away - this is who you are and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

What you need to remember is that being Muslim and being gay are not mutually exclusive things. I may be speaking out of term here, so I sincerely apologise if I've misunderstood your (or anyone else's) faith, but from what I've read and experienced, Allah is a being of love! From excerpts I've found, time and time again, it is said that Allah loves those who love him and do good by others. Don't you think that an all-powerful and merciful being would want you to spread love by being yourself and settling down with someone you truly love, regardless of their gender? If you continue to bury your feelings, you'll only become resentful (particularly towards any female partners you may have), and this could lead to you hurting people because you are hurt.

You falling in love and being in a happy, compassionate relationship with a man hurts no one. Do you think Allah is going to focus on you being in a consenting gay relationship when there are people out there abusing, raping and murdering innocent people? You wanting to pursue a happy relationship is only a positive thing, and I think Allah would be proud of that.

And remember, you're not the only one feeling this way! I, personally, know three LGBT+ Muslims. They all still love Allah and are - in my opinion - good Muslims! You can find a community of gay Muslim people on Imaan (a community for LGBT Muslims in the UK). I'll pop the link here - imaanlondon.wordpress.com

Just a final note - you mentioned you have 'felt like a girl'. Is there any chance you could be transgender? It might be something to think about.

Again, I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I hope you find the best solution for you soon. If you ever need to talk about this, you're welcome to message me privately on here!

Good luck!

- Gee

this is a white washing of what Islam actually teaches. while I appreciate the kindness and the move to reform Islam to a more liberal Islam this is not a representation of what the vast (99%) of Muslims believe. it's a disrortation of reality and it stinks of white liberal privilege.

I am a practicing Muslim and I love my faith and tend to be good and do good as much as I can. I have been dealing with tough family problems for quite long along with another factor. I am gay and closeted. People say that it’s ones own choice. But how can it be if I felt like a girl since I was 2 or had my first crush when I was 4. Didn’t know what was happening until later. I have tried to abstain from everything but can’t anymore. I still force myself but am unable to. There is no one I can discuss this with. I am on mental health medication as well. People say it’s a test as I’ve read on discussions and one must try to curb desires. But those who are not going through it don’t know. Sometimes it’s as little as having someone to embrace. I would much appreciate a Muslim opinion as it means a lot to me.
Thanks

Tell God to take away the gay within 24 hours and if he can't take away the gay then the gay is here to stay.

Actually you are incorrect lol. Islam does indeed teach acceptance such as this, it's not whitewashing whatsoever. My entire family is Muslim and I have a couple of scholar relatives who dedicated their life to studying Islam as well. They all say homosexuality should be accepted. What a lot of 'Muslims' believe is an incorrect interpretation of the Qu'ran which the Saudis and certain other countries had adapted to suit themselves. There are a lot of incorrect versions of the Qu'ran out there. If any so called Muslim believes that it should not be accepted they are simply following extremist rules set by certain countries as a 'precedent' for Islam when the reality is it is all bullsh*t. I'm not white and agree completely with what the poster you quoted previously has said, because they understand the fundamental concept of Islam.

You should read about the people of Lut and how Allah dealt with such people.