I miss my mate so much

I’m a 20 year old guy.

I met this guy, let’s call him Harry, at my part time job. He’s quite a few years older than me. I started my job nearly two years ago and we met not long after but we only really became friendly last summer time.

Anyway, we always had banter and would often insult each other in a silly way as a joke. At the end of January, I was at his house one evening and I made fun of one of his Facebook pictures (as a joke) and I did take it too far without realising, I never meant to hurt his feelings or offend him but I obviously did. I was wrong to say what I said and I regret it all. I wish I hadn’t joked around now.

He made some excuse that his mum was ill and had to go see her to get rid of me that night. I had to go home and I then knew that he was annoyed at what I said. I messaged him when I got home to ask if his mum was ok and if he wanted to meet up the next day and he blocked my mobile number and on social media. I haven’t properly talked to him since then and it was 10 weeks ago. I’ve reached out to try and apologise, I left a gift for him and I’ve literally tried absolutely everything. He was/is my best friend and I miss him, I’d never ever intentionally set out to hurt him. I just wish he’d stop ignoring me and let me talk to him.

It’s now been 6 weeks since I last tried to contact him - I figured it was properly making matters worse by me trying to keep contacting him.

Anyway, some stuff happened at Christmas time too. I’m not going into it but My mood had changed because of antidepressants I’m on, he was weird with me for a few days but I apologised and soon we sorted it out. I’m guessing maybe it’s the situation at Christmas that has influenced his decision as well.

I miss him like crazy. I know I sound like a **** friend but I’m not, At Christmas I genuinely wasn’t feeling good and I was drunk and I accidentally ripped his t shirt and the day before I walked off on him In the shopping centre because of my mood, I was wrong, I felt **** about it and I wholeheartedly apologised because it was out of character but he obviously thinks I did it all on purpose.

We’ve always got on well, we always had a good laugh and we’ve never had any issues before all of this. I accept and acknowledge that I caused it. It was my fault. I know I can’t force him to be my friend but this is really hurting me. I’ve felt so
Depressed over it all. It does feel a bit easier now that time has gone on but I still miss him. I wish I could just talk to him and make him realise that I’ve been stupid and made stupid mistakes and that I never meant to hurt him