Feel nothing for dad

is he still the same person as he was before? has he changed?

My dad has been probablt the most harmful person in my life so far as he was abusive controlling and later ruined the most important relationship in my life and disowned me. I think he’s a narcissist. As I became an adult I distanced more and more just to survive and feel like I can function to the point now where I literally feel no affection for them or anything. I feel guilty and weird but I can’t help it. People mus think I’m cold an inhumane. He also dislikes me for it I’m sure it hurts him too but can’t even look him in the eye or hug him at all. Hate it when he tries to talk to me.

I feel like a piece of me has d ied. Has anyone been through this before?

I understand some of how you feel.
I grew up in a toxic and controlling household, surrounded by unreasonable people who constantly imposed their bizarre nonsense upon me.
Escaped before a levels were over 8 years ago, cut contact and will never go back.

Life is too short to waste your valuable time and emotion on those that don't deserve any.
Try to focus on achieving your future ambitions and maintaining a positive mindset.
Restrict opportunities of contact with your father to avoid further conflict or resurrecting past traumas.
Best to spend your spare time celebrating all the positives in your life and doing the things that make you happy or will lead you towards building the future life that you want.
Good luck!

I hate narcissists with every fibre of my being, and they don't deserve to take up any of my emotional space or (extra/personal) respect. Don't feel guilty about the fact that you feel no affection towards them (or him); the sooner you realise that they don't matter in your life, the sooner you won't feel hurt by them.

Be happy that you can function and live on your own now! That's good progress in my opinion

I feel like this too, so you are not alone in how you're feeling and what you have been through

Ah I'm so glad you understand the narcissism thing. They have no self awareness so im the bad guy here and they're the victim. Sadly i have to live with them as of recently again but trying to get out asap.

Where did you move to at a levels did you get social services help?

Thanks ill try my best

I understand some of how you feel.
I grew up in a toxic and controlling household, surrounded by unreasonable people who constantly imposed their bizarre nonsense upon me.
Escaped before a levels were over 8 years ago, cut contact and will never go back.

Life is too short to waste your valuable time and emotion on those that don't deserve any.
Try to focus on achieving your future ambitions and maintaining a positive mindset.
Restrict opportunities of contact with your father to avoid further conflict or resurrecting past traumas.
Best to spend your spare time celebrating all the positives in your life and doing the things that make you happy or will lead you towards building the future life that you want.
Good luck!

hi I really want to cut my abusive father off too but my mum wont let me saying it will make us look rude
need a break from everyone tbh

Do you have access to a stable monthly source of income and alternative accomodation far away from your relatives?

im 15 lol

I get your suffering mate, I still live with one (or a few) of them. I hate it as well. I will be moving out for further education, but I might still have to come back and live with them afterwards until I got more than enough funds to move out permanently - or not? 🤔 Only time will tell honestly, I don't want to waste my money unnecessarily since I don't have to pay rent much, but if they do get irksome, I would choose my distance and space over them any day.

All the best ok?

Try to maintain a positive mindset, save up as much cash as you can and work towards achieving the best academic results possible over the next few years.

It is almost impossible to cut all contact with toxic relatives before 18 without the agreement and practical assistance of at least one close relative or family member.
People can move out without parental consent at 16.
But parental responsibility continues until 18 unless the courts remove it or the 16-17 year old gets married.

Make as many helpful contacts as you can and build up a strong independent support network outside of your parents control.
Part time jobs, friends with a spare sofa or an address that they allow you to use for post.
Good luck!

What do you mean by helpful contacts?
How long do you think is reasonable to ask someone a favour to let you use the sofa till you find somewhere?

Try to maintain a positive mindset, save up as much cash as you can and work towards achieving the best academic results possible over the next few years.

It is almost impossible to cut all contact with toxic relatives before 18 without the agreement and practical assistance of at least one close relative or family member.
People can move out without parental consent at 16.
But parental responsibility continues until 18 unless the courts remove it or the 16-17 year old gets married.

Make as many helpful contacts as you can and build up a strong independent support network outside of your parents control.
Part time jobs, friends with a spare sofa or an address that they allow you to use for post.
Good luck!

Hi is it okay if I PM you