any advice? never had a relationship

Hey guys,

So this is my dilemma. I'm almost 21 years old and to be honest I have never had a proper relationship before. I used to think it was my fault, as I've been quite busy, fist at school ,then on my gap year.... I just didn't want anything formal (nor a mr. perfect appear). But right now, that I'm almost finishing my second year at university I'm starting to think there is something wrong with me.

I've kissed guys, only in clubs to fair, and just when I'm pretty drunk. But now I'm thinking that I may have a problem. I don't know how to get closer to guys I fancy. If I have a crush I just feel to embarrassed to talk with them... if a guy likes me (or at least flirt with me) I'm not sure how to continue, how to give him a way...

does anyone have any advice?

also, would you guy be put off by a girl that have never had a proper relationship before (almost 21)?

Thanks

does anyone have any advice?

Confidence, confidence, confidence.

Smile a lot, show interest in what they're saying and honestly just imagine you were talking to a good friend. Imagine yourself in the other seat. Guys can be scared talking to girls too, and if you behave awkwardly the conversation becomes awkward and they want out. Make the conversation easy. Be happy talking about your life and hearing about theirs. Questions are great. Questions prompt the other person to speak and avoid gaps in conversation. Genuinely, its all about having the guts to get properly involved in a discussion. Don't rely on them to show all the interest, there's nothing about the Y chromosome that makes them any better conversationalists. Power in.

Do you mind me asking if you have (m)any male friends?

Hey!

From what you've said, I'm picturing you to be the kind of girl who is good looking and, hence, gets approached, but is a bit shy in reacting to flirting, compliments and attention! (If I'm wrong, just ignore me lol) There is nothing wrong with you. You just need to work on being friendly, welcoming and nice to chat to especially with someone who fancies you. You don't have to start flirting right away - I know quite a few girls don't like to do this. Instead, try to engage in a nice conversation, get some small talk going and get to know who ever is chatting to you. The fact that they're talking to you suggests that they're interested in getting to know you.

If you can't do this face to face, texting is great, especially early on. I've got to know a few girls really well just through texting regularly during the day and sometimes all night. Then, once you meet up with them, it becomes really easy and comfortable because you have something to chat about immediately. Instead of opening a random new topic, you can say "oh did you manage to get that done the other day ..." blah blah blah!

Tips from a guys perspective:

- smile - it does wonders, wins me over big time
- be interested - no harm in initiating a text, a meet up or suggesting to hang out. Don't believe the "he'll think I'm too keen/easy" nonsense
- once you're comfortable, then start to flirt, especially if the guy is flirting and you're interested - the worst thing is when there's no response from a girl
- I'm not put off by girls who haven't had long term relationships - doesn't bother me
- what I am put off by though is indecisiveness - saying you're interested one minute and then not the next is frustrating.

Just take it easy and do everything in your own time. There's no harm in waiting for someone nice to come along. Again, just to reiterate, there is nothing wrong with you! Best of luck!