My boyfriend talks about other women to me

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now and he sometimes talks about women he finds attractive to me, and it makes me feel really uncomfortable. And it isn't even that he talks about them to his friends and I just happen to be there, he even once started talking about how hot he thought one of his friend's girlfriend was when we were on a date! I have no problem with him finding other women attractive however I'd rather not hear it, after-all I don't talk to him about which men I find attractive. Should I say something to him about it? If so how should I go about it? I've been tempted to in the past, however I didn't as I was worried about looking petty.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I think that if you guys are going to work then you will need to talk to him about it. After all, what is a relationship without communication? If he truly cares for you then he won't mind. :smile:

Reply 2

stargirl63

17

Explain to him that you would prefer that he would concentrate on you during your relationship, never mind when you're both on a date. Just tell him the truth, that it makes you feel uncomfortable, and you understand that he may mean no harm, he's not cheating etc etc but it's not something that you want to hear.

If he doesn't get the hint, then talk to him about other guys and see if he likes it.

Reply 3

meenu89

19

Original post by Anonymous

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now and he sometimes talks about women he finds attractive to me, and it makes me feel really uncomfortable. And it isn't even that he talks about them to his friends and I just happen to be there, he even once started talking about how hot he thought one of his friend's girlfriend was when we were on a date! I have no problem with him finding other women attractive however I'd rather not hear it, after-all I don't talk to him about which men I find attractive. Should I say something to him about it? If so how should I go about it? I've been tempted to in the past, however I didn't as I was worried about looking petty.

It's not petty, one of the key things in relationships is communication. Tell him in a way so that he doesn't misunderstand and will not do it again.

Reply 4

One Man Band

7

If these women are celebrities then that's not really an issue, but if they are general and potentially attainable women from him, then this doesn't bode well for the future of your relationship.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by One Man Band

If these women are celebrities then that's not really an issue, but if they are general and potentially attainable women from him, then this doesn't bode well for the future of your relationship.

If it was celebrities he was talking about then it wouldn't bother me at all.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by stargirl63

Explain to him that you would prefer that he would concentrate on you during your relationship, never mind when you're both on a date. Just tell him the truth, that it makes you feel uncomfortable, and you understand that he may mean no harm, he's not cheating etc etc but it's not something that you want to hear.

If he doesn't get the hint, then talk to him about other guys and see if he likes it.

One of my friends suggested doing this and telling him that find either his brother or one of his friends attractive, I'd feel mean doing this though.

Reply 7

Anonymous #3

Don't give him hints. Just tell him that you don't like it.

- The End

Reply 8

stargirl63

17

Original post by Anonymous

One of my friends suggested doing this and telling him that find either his brother or one of his friends attractive, I'd feel mean doing this though.

I would appreciate if maybe he thought he was being mean when he talks about girls in front of you, but he doesn't. So why should you?

Also, we are hoping this is a temporary solution, because after a few talks about how good looking other guys are, with a hint of "why don't you work out so you can look like that?" *flutter eyelids* he would be able to get the hint.

Reply 9

redferry

19

Original post by Anonymous

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now and he sometimes talks about women he finds attractive to me, and it makes me feel really uncomfortable. And it isn't even that he talks about them to his friends and I just happen to be there, he even once started talking about how hot he thought one of his friend's girlfriend was when we were on a date! I have no problem with him finding other women attractive however I'd rather not hear it, after-all I don't talk to him about which men I find attractive. Should I say something to him about it? If so how should I go about it? I've been tempted to in the past, however I didn't as I was worried about looking petty.

Mee and my bf play rate the boobs on game of thrones. When we watch community he is team Annie and I am team Britta.

I have a really hot friend and he is forever joking he'd rather be with her.

It's not like he would act on it, it's just funny.

Unless your bf is being really serious in which case that is creepy and putting unfair pressure on you.

Reply 10

alexs2602

22

Original post by Anonymous

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now and he sometimes talks about women he finds attractive to me, and it makes me feel really uncomfortable. And it isn't even that he talks about them to his friends and I just happen to be there, he even once started talking about how hot he thought one of his friend's girlfriend was when we were on a date! I have no problem with him finding other women attractive however I'd rather not hear it, after-all I don't talk to him about which men I find attractive. Should I say something to him about it? If so how should I go about it? I've been tempted to in the past, however I didn't as I was worried about looking petty.

Yes, just tell him what you told us essentially. That you don't mind that he finds other women attractive but it makes you uncomfortable to hear him talk about it [because you feel this shows that he finds them more attractive than you and therefore makes you feel unattractive to him or something]. If he has an issue with this then you two have a problem you might not be able to resolve and if neither of you can get over that then you need to consider the future of your relationship.

Both go into this calm, be tactful and try not accuse him, make him feel like he's being put on trial and you essentially would appreciate some tact on the subject.

Reply 11

Bridget Jones

19

Just tell him, but obviously be a bit tactile about it, by explaining why you don't like it and how it makes you uncomfortable etc

Reply 12

xDave-

19

Original post by Anonymous

x

He probably thinks you're comfortable with it; you've been together for quite a while so there isn't really any reason to feel insecure. At the same time, I can understand why it'd make you feel uncomfortable. Just tell him you don't want him to do it and see what he says.

Reply 13

SoftPunch

3

Original post by Anonymous

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now and he sometimes talks about women he finds attractive to me, and it makes me feel really uncomfortable. And it isn't even that he talks about them to his friends and I just happen to be there, he even once started talking about how hot he thought one of his friend's girlfriend was when we were on a date! I have no problem with him finding other women attractive however I'd rather not hear it, after-all I don't talk to him about which men I find attractive. Should I say something to him about it? If so how should I go about it? I've been tempted to in the past, however I didn't as I was worried about looking petty.

I wouldn't tell him anything. I'd just break-up with him. It's never a good sign when a guy does that. But yeah, you can go ahead and just clearly tell him that you don't feel comfortable with that.

Reply 14

sl1k

I'm married and I tell my wife who I find pretty, average and HOT all the time. i wouldn't act on it though and she knows that, it's more playful banter.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks for your replies. I think I should clarify that my boyfriend doesn't talk about anyone in particular nor about any of these girls in a way which suggests that he may have feelings for them.

Reply 16

MancBoy

12

Hes being disrespectful and quite frankly I think this is a worrying sign of things to come. Tell him how you feel about it and if he continues then consider the worthiness of your relationship. However something tells me that you will stay with him regardless. Girls are like that sometimes.

Reply 17

Fashion Girl

14

Tell him how hot you find the girlfriend's boyfriend :yy:

!

Reply 18

Alpha brah

Tell him you don't like it. I've known a few guys who did this to their girlfriends TBH, completely dickish behaviour.

If he doesn't alter what he does, I would get rid if it were me.

Reply 19

P357

12

Dump him and tell him you're doing it cause you're really into one of his friends/acquitances.
Then work towards getting together with said friend.
Might not save your relationship but it WILL be deeply satisfying and teach the guy some future lessons.
besides-doesn't even sound like a relationship worth saving anyway...

My boyfriend talks about other women to me

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