Boyfriend slept at a girl's house!

Scroll to see replies

Well he should have at least told you, then again if he didn't because he knew you would have a go at him then it is something you both really need to talk about.

Reply 21

joker12345

Original post by Rock Fan

Well he should have at least told you, then again if he didn't because he knew you would have a go at him then it is something you both really need to talk about.

That isn't really a valid excuse. It's comparable to saying 'he didn't tell her he cheated cos he thought she'd break up with him'. Honesty isn't only for situations when it's easy.

Reply 22

Softy31

Original post by Yemiisii

He probably slept with her too. Lol if a guy says they live/ stayed over a girls place and they didn't sleep together or have any type of sexual contact... It's a lie.

I know... it's all the more likely.

OP, there's no way you'd know for sure if he cheated/didn't unless he admits to it himself...
Maybe ask the girl at whose house he was sleeping?

Reply 23

Softy31

Even if OP got jealous/angry, that doesn't change the fact that he should have told her that prior to doing it...
Secrecy is a cause of loss of trust; honestly I'd never met an idiot who'd tell his girlfriend he would be sleeping over at his friend's house (who's a girl) and then cheat on her.

Reply 24

517340

He may not have told you because he thought you may take it the wrong way? Friendship boundaries are very different for some people, yes there is a possibility he may have done something bad, but there's also a possibility that he genuinely was too tired to go home and just fell asleep where he was. It probably didn't seem that big of a deal to him and he didn't want you to worry.

I'm staying hopeful for the faithfulness because I've been in a position I've felt far too tired to leave while at a friend's house, which is about 20/15 minutes walk from mine, but I was beyond tired. Mind you she did have an essay to finish the next morning so I managed to stumble back eventually, but she did say if she didn't have an essay to finish she'd have let me fall asleep on the sofa or chair. And unless asked about, I probably wouldn't think of telling my girlfriend, not because I want to hide it, but because I don't really see it as something that significant for a conversational topic.

But it's all in how much you trust each other, my girlfriend knows I'm close to my friends and easily comfortable around them.

Reply 25

XMaramena

Original post by Anonymous

So, we're in a long distance relationship and he slept at a girl's house (his university colleague - he's known her for 6 months now). He had hidden that from me and confessed it when we were arguing. His excuse was that he was too tired to go home, and her house was closer. For him, this is normal, but I feel really bad, especially that he lied to me. I forgave him, but I lost all my trust.
What do you think? Do I have nothing to worry about? :s-smilie:

Normally I would not think much of it - I've crashed over at girls houses lots of times - it's there's a party, a free couch doesn't hurt either! :P

But the fact he hid it from you rings alarm bells. But also, don't be too hasty to jump on the defensive - he could have not told you simply because it never occurred to him.

Reply 26

deliverous

It's not a moral or legal crime to spend the night at another girls house. Unless he had sexual relations with the girl, which you have a right to know about, he hasn't really done anything wrong. That said, if I had a girlfriend, I probably would feel guilty about staying at another girls house, preventing me from doing it in the first place.

Reply 27

Quilt

My ex did this exact thing, however was with other people, and I too was upset about it. Your main concern should be why he didn't tell you, because that's quite sketchy. Ask for an honest, face-to-face discussion about it next time you're together. Don't ask him over text because you won't know if he's lying or not. x

Reply 28

laurajanecurtis

My boyfriend and I used to have a LDR, just for reference of who's giving this advice. My question is, why would he be in a LDR if he was going to have sex that easily? You'll know if he's worth your time by these questions.

1. Does he get aggressive with you when you say that you're jealous/upset about something he did relating to the opposite sex? The answer should be no.
2. Is he hard to reach/do you initiate all the contact? The answer should be no.
3. Have you two positively discussed and set out for a future that you are already trying to implement? The answer should be yes.

The point is, long distance relationships require a lot of TLC and if he doesn't tend to your emotional needs passively, is hard to get in good contact with and has no idea of what lies ahead for you two, you shouldn't be with him. It will destroy you! Good luck!

Reply 29

joker12345

Original post by deliverous

It's the fact that he actively concealed it from her that seems more the 'moral crime' here.

Reply 30

Chicken.M.

Original post by kunoichi

Thats ridiculous

Staying at a mates house on the floor or a sofa is understandable however

If you're going to lose all trust or go mental at him OP I can understand why he didnt say anything.

As a girl with mainly male friends, I sleep over at their places all the time, because we all live a fair way away from each other and we dont want to drive back late or whatever.
Guess what?

Nothing happens. :eek: