My BF and I have been together 6 months. He has a female best friend.
There is a lot more to this, as there is in every relationship. But basically, he has a picture of himself and his best friend in a frame in his bedroom at his parents house (we're both at uni and sharing a room, I went to his home a few months ago to see his family and that's when I saw the picture).
We are visiting his parents again soon. I know the picture will be there still. It's bothering me. I've thought quite hard about why it bothers me because I want to be rational about it and I don't want to make him feel criticized/defensive. I think my discomfort comes down to:
- It's just the two of them in the picture. If there was a group of people including her I don't think I would be bothered.
- It's on clear display. I think if it was in a photo album I wouldn't be bothered.
- It's not just on clear display, it's in his bedroom, which is an intimate place.
- I feel like there's another woman in the room with us when we're in bed together.
- I don't know the context of the picture - what it means to him, why it's framed/in his bedroom.
- We take a lot of pictures of places we visit/pictures together. He's never suggested framing one or having it in our bedroom. I wonder why that is and whether he framed it himself or she gave it to him etc.
- Most of all - he doesn't see it as an issue/how it would make his girlfriend feel.
I don't want to make an issue of it/create an argument. I want him to realize how it would make a girlfriend feel to see that - I really don't want to have to tell him and make him feel defensive. I'm not saying best friends of the opposite sex can't take pictures together or frame them/display them - but surely past a certain age (we're in our 20's) and when they move into relationships, those pictures probably shouldn't be on display in their bedrooms?
I just want him to see my point of view. I don't think any guy would be happy if their girlfriend had a picture of themselves with another man in their bedroom. But I can't make him see that - he has to come to that realization himself otherwise it's pointless.
How to I deal with a) my feelings b) the situation.
Thanks.